To wonder if parents EVER get used to being needed/on call all the time?

[RedHotPokers]

When I first had DD it took me a long time to adjust to being needed so much IYSWIM (I generally really like my own space!). Being on the go all the time - feeding, changing, comforting....

Then when I had DS, it took me a really long time to adjust to having to have eyes in the back of my head, five pairs of hands......

Now DD is 5yo and DS is 3yo, and it just never ends. I haven't stopped all morning. Emptying potties, answering incessant questions, breaking up fights, cleaning up mess, comforting, reprimanding, repeating myself, etc etc etc etc. Same as any other parent I'm sure. It's like this until bedtime (unless the telly goes on!).

So do you EVER get used to it? I keep feeling like it's got a bit easier, and then potty training starts, or DD goes through a dramatic or emotional phase, or DS starts tantrumming!

I think it is partly the ages - I too have a 5yo and a 3yo and they are harder work now than ever.

It's the constant fighting bickering and screeching that gets on my wick. Ours went back to school/preschool on Monday so they have been tired all week too, but get a mysterious second wind at bedtime

I would pay a lot for an 'off' button right now. Actually, I am going to make them walk the dogs with me in the rain That'll learn 'em

oh God Minnie don't say that, mine are 11m and 2.8 and thought it would get better! DP and I regularly take turns to have a day or two "Off" and leave the house - have just got back from one such trip, does wonders but you're not back 5 mins before it all starts again!

Not in my experience.

5yo and 3yo here too. I'm just sitting down to my lunch as they've been non-stop all bloody morning.

One has been banished to his bedroom the other is banished to the garden and I've laid down the law about leaving me in peace for a while .

Reading this has made me feel a little better about my own 'issues' with this. DS is 13 months now and I'm still finding it difficult to cope with the responsibility. I keep hoping it will get easier too. I have spent this morning with my step DN who is 8, though, and he spent the whole time sitting quietly and drawling lovely pictures (on paper! Not furniture!) - so I can see that there is hope for when DS gets older!!

It gets better honestly as they get older they dont need all that done for them they learn to cope on their own and you will be harking back to the days when they wanted you to hug them , hang on in there , dont get involved in every fight let them squabble and sort it out ,

What really gets me is the shouting 'Mummy, Mummmmmmy, quick we neeeeeed you' or 'Mummy, Muuuuummmmmy, there's been a biiiiig problem' at the top of their lungs, whenever I leave the room to try to MN get anything done. Everything is terribly urgent .

I definitely need to instigate an 'I'm only going to talk to you if you are in the same room as me' rule, and give DD a talking to about the boy who cried wolf! I'm fed up with dropping everything for some urgent terrible problem, to find that they actually just need me to put the hair back on their playmobil people .

dd is 37 and guess who is still on call....'Mum can I drop them off while I have my hair cut? Mum I will be late tonight can you stay till dh gets home?' I love it :)

but you havnt emptied her potty in many years thegreylady Of course they always need you but it isnt so intense i dont think , although my to still do the mum Mum MUM MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM thing !

It gets easier. imo the pre school years were the hardest and even mundane jobs get more bearable once you can go to the loo on your own or have a bath and just think a think.

The problems sometimes get bigger but I found them easier to deal with once I had enough sleep, a little space and the ability to reason with the dc if not the teachers.

It probably doesn't help that I am a bit of a soft touch. DH ignores them seems to deal with it better! In the past I have hidden in another room, to wait for the Muuuuuuummy's to turn into Daaaaaddddddddddddy's. But even then, DH tells them to go away encourages them to sort it out themselves! Which just encourages them to focus on the soft touch parent!!

Right, I'm going to be hardcore parent from now on .

It gets better. I have a 6yo and a 4yo and an 18mo. The 18mo is asleep right now. the 6yo and 4yo can occupy themselves fairly benignly for an hour or so playing with mud outside. So at the moment, I'm not on duty. Two hours a day isn't much, but it's something.

Update: I can hear shouting. I take it all back.

Currently got my 9 month old nephew and he is down for a nap, he needs quiet, as that's what he is used too (first born) and my 2 year old doesn't know the meaning of the word, ds1 who is 6 is happily playing on the xbox, while ds2 is nipping, cushion fighting etc... as he wants to play fight, I'm ready to drug ds2, as I cant be having a very grumpy 9 month old and a very grumpy 2 year old [cries]

Mine are five and two and a half and it is the same as you. Sorting out bickering and none emergency 'emergencies'. Even at lunch it was "muumeeeeee, dd has put her crisps on my plaaaaate!" sigh

I love them but sometimes bedtime cant come soon enough.

Can I be brutally honest? Enjoy it. I know that sounds mad but seriously.

Mine are now 11 and 10 and although they need me a little bit I can FEEL them pulling away. I am starting to see 'lasts' of things now. We no longer do soft plays or really toy shops. They are too big and too old now. Dd goes on loads of sleepovers and trips away. I love that she does but by god, I miss her so so much.

It may seem all encompassing now but I promise you, it all goes so quickly!

I think it gets different. They don't need you quite as constantly, and their needs aren't so physical. But I've just had "Muuuuum! Why is my clarinet squeaking?" and "Muuuuum! This lego doesn't look right and I've done everything it says", neither of which problems I have a clue what to do about.

The need lessons but the problems get more serious.

Eg 3yo and 5yo: constantly nagging you about sharing/wanting stuff/playing/screeching and crying

23yo and 25yo: Rarely ask for help but if they do is now about unwanted pregnancy/divorce/redundancy/tenancy

I am totally with you on this one My 2 boys are also 5 and 3 and it really is relentless

The minute I go upstairs to surf on MN for some peace and quiet or to sort out washing etc, it is 'mummy, I need a drink', 'mummy can you wipe my bottom', 'mummy the door has fallen off Jupiter, can you fix it', 'mummy, DS1 just hit me', 'mummy can you change the channel' and so on and so on. And yes, it is always so urgent

I don't think I will ever get used to it. At the weekends, me and DH do a couple of hours at the gym each in the mornings and that just gives us a break which is great.

I quite like the rule of I am only going to talk to them if they are in the same room but I don't think that is going to work since DH insists on shouting from other rooms all the time

I´m with fox-don´t be wishing it away as before you know it they´ll be leaving school & out the door!

sometimes you get a horrible feeling in your stomach when they dont need you as much its an internal sigh I think i know im sounding like a drama queen , but when they are off with their friends on a saturdy staying out at Bfs my heart sinks , I may get a puppy a puppy will love me

I waited years to be 'mummy' and now the word grates on me like nails down a blackboard. My dd is 3.5 and she is firing questions off at the rate of about five for every metre i walk. And every single sentence or question starts with 'muuummmy'. It is driving me insane.

Ive got 10 week old dd2 and i'll readily explain right we've read stories, played with bricks, done painting, made cards... But now its your sisters time cos she needs feeding. To which i get requests for drinks, bum wiping, sock untwisting, crisp packet opening, jigsaw doing.

I dont even get to wine o'clock because dd2 cluster feeds all evening so by the time she goes to bed i collapse next to her.

Last weekend dh took dd1 to cbeebies live and i sat breastfeeding dd2 and read a book!! God the silence was heavenly.

"I may get a puppy a puppy will love me"

Don´t be too sure-I think our dog only tolerates me-but he worships the ground my daughter walks on

really diddl I think you are probably right when we had a dog before i was just feeder and poo picker upper , so i guess the same as a young child

Doctorswife I totally agree with the 'mummy' thing - the way DS1 starts every sentence with 'mummy' in a total whinging voice gets my hackles up every single time - and it is 100x worse if he actually wants something which I might say no to. (Congrats on the arrival of DD2 not sure if you remember but I was on the Nov 08 group).

It gets so much easier when school restarts! I had the same experience as OP during school hols - it feels like you're on the go almost 24 hours a day, lol...