to be having a mid life crisis as I approach 30?

[fullofregrets]

Obviously I am. I need to get a grip. Someone hand me one. I am lucky really, my DS is healthy, we aren't on the breadline, my parents are great...but...sometimes I feel like my life has been pointless and just a series of bad choices.
If I disappeared tomorrow would it matter? Sure DH would be cross about having to cook his own dinner and DS would be sad but he is little, he'd forget. I just feel like I have never really achieved anything, which is stupid and my own fault I know. I pursued a career I didn't want due to pressure from others (wanted to be florist or cake maker), got married at 22 which was much too young but was worried no one would ever ask me again. Married on rebound and missed out on a lot of my youth and now I'm too old and my youth is all gone! Added in to this is a chronic invisible health condition that I am responsible for day in day out and the relentlessness of it gets me down.
Basically I feel like I'm waiting to die. What is left to look forward to?

I'm sure this maudlin mood will pass. I know my life could be much much harder. I know that. But somehow it doesn't make me feel any better, it just makes me feel guilty!

Someone pass me a grip and some prozac.

MID LIFE????? AT 30 ?????????!!!!!!!!

I have had the best times of my life in my 30's - get a grip and enjoy your life!!!!

Yeah, my condition apparently takes average of 15 years off my lifespan.
I reckon ive got about 35 years left!

You can still do a hell of a lot in 35 yrs?!

I remember worrying about approaching 30 but have had an amazing time in my 30s - got married, travelled, had our gorgeous dd, got the job I'd always wanted etc. and I'm now approaching 40! It sounds like your concerns about approaching 30 are coming from a different place to where mine were; you sound like you have some regrets about your life so far plus you have health problems too. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Do you ever feel you are enjoying life? If the answer is no then it would be worth seeing your GP as that lack of pleasure in anything is very telling. Hope you can start to feel better about your life and enjoy your 30s.

Basically it seems everything I try and do even small things, turn out badly. Things I look forward to end up being horrible so I've given up expecting anything to be nice.
I could sit and cry all day if I could. But at least DS stops me from doing that.

Actually I think, shit, another 35 years of this.

What Georgie22 said then xx

I think you need to get some help then. There's no shame in how you feel and speaking to someone about it is the first step to feeling better. Is there a good understanding GP at your practice?

I turn 30 in just under a month and find I'm not worried about it in the slightest. From what you've written it sounds like you feel your life is over and done with when really (and yes, I understand it's a bit of a cliché) it's only just begun. I understand you have regrets and have made some bad choices (haven't we all) but you can make the next 30 years amazing! You can retrain to be a florist, cake decorator and ANYTHING. I think you just need to take a more active role in ensuring your happiness. If you want something exciting to happen, it won't if you are just sitting around thinking your life is over.

Perhaps you could write a list of things you would like to try or experience, be it attending an evening class, flying a kite, hugging a lamb, anything you can think of and then start crossing them off. But I think if you continue on how you are you'll end up just the same approaching 40. Enjoy being you and please don't allow a silly little number (30 is really young) to upset you.

and just for good measure here's a little verse by Tim McGraw from My Next 30 years;

I think I?ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it?s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

My next thirty years I?m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I?m doing here
In my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years

x posting (my fingers are far too slow)

ahh lovley poem. You have loads of life left, get out there and live it.

For example take DS out today to playground and fun fair. Buy him ice cream as treat. Had nice time. DS now very very sick and poorly and I think it was probably the ice cream. A treat spoilt. Poor DS.
This is why it is safer not to leave the house. Why did I buy him the bloody ice cream?

I am 29 this year but only just feel like i have grown into my life - I had my first dc at 20 then 4 more since then and got married at 23. Its only the last say 2 years though that I feel in control and sort of contented with my life. I dont feel at all as though I have achieved loads but I feel i have time to do more if you see what I mean?