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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my 19mth old to eat without throwing his food EVERYWHERE?

18 replies

beansandraisons · 20/04/2012 22:36

He has never been a good eater really but current state of affairs is have a few mouthfulls then chuck it all on the floor. There is the occasionaly meal where he will sit there and eat it all without drama but these are rare. I have tried scooping it back up, ending meal time there and then (hungry toddler until the next meal -not fun) and encouraging him to push it away if he doesn't want any more. Any advice?

OP posts:
bugsylugs · 20/04/2012 22:41

No but I feel for you had similar. It does get better or they mould you

smoggii · 20/04/2012 22:43

Give him healthy snacks between meals, he might be a grazer

LilRedWG · 20/04/2012 22:46

I asked this question when DD was a similar age and the advice - which worked - was:

IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE!

Let him throw it all on the floor, do not comment or pick it up. When his plate is empty and he is finished, take him down from his chair and set him off to play then clean up without fuss.

Then go in the kitchen and sob/drink/scream.

Do the same at the next meal.....

I promise you it works after a day or two. He will realise that he is not getting the attention he was before and that he is hungry if he doesn't eat.

LilRedWG · 20/04/2012 22:47

I second smoggi - snacks of fruit/breadsticks between meals too.

Mrsjay · 20/04/2012 22:52

Ignore him he knows you will scoop it up dd is now 19years old and she used to faff about with food drove me mad she would throw it spit it out , my mum just said put her dinner down and ignore her then take it away , it worked , I also cut down her portion sizes fed her a little more often like the others have said , and i tried not to do messy dinners for a few months , hth , you have my sympathies its a PITA ,

Original poster
beansandraisons · 20/04/2012 22:55

oh Lili, the plate goes too, and then he sits there saying 'ah-oh', if i ignore and try and get him down, he screams as he is still hungry and then is grumpy until the next meal. I suppose I may have been the architect of this behaviour as he is v small and i have always been anxious to get him to eat...
smoggii when I give him snacks he eats even less at the next meal.
My mum keeps saying 'he'll eat when he is hungry' but I'm fed up of cleaning food of the floor/wall/chair/cupboards.

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 20/04/2012 23:00

I was little and fussy and my mother fussed and poked and talked about what I was eating and went on and on and on. And eventually in my 20's I lived on the edge of an eating disorder. I still remember as a small child being absolutely starving and refusing to eat because she was interfering with my food "eat this , a bit of that" all the time poking a fork in it and fussing over spills on the tablecloth and my dress. If only she had left me at the table to get on with it instead of making a fuss.

You have had good advice here. Please follow it and stop stressing about what goes in. Offer four small meals a day and plenty of fruit and other healthy snacks as required. It isn't an issue, it doesn't need counting and it doesn't need comment.

Mrsjay · 20/04/2012 23:10

HV told me if dd was still drinking milk and having a youghart (spelling) fruit etc then she wouldnt starve dd was a tiny thing and quite thin too but honestly once you stop stressing about it it does get better , if he says he is hungy give him his dinner , does he help prepare his plate i did that too , you worry so much when they dont/wont eat , but little and often is the way to go imo ,

Original poster
beansandraisons · 20/04/2012 23:21

he has milk morn/night and yoghurt and fruit and veg are not a problem -he happily tucks into a bowl of mixed veg when his food has gone on the floor but not sure if i should be giving an alternative after watching his dinner hit the floor (after putting it in front of him without fuss and leaving him to get on with it) even if it is a healthy one!
I am well aware that i do not want my son to develop food 'issues' but it is hard to stay calm when my head takes a blow from a well aimed sippy cup whilst clearing food off the floor! (I no longer clear whilst he is in his chair!)
I'm sure i'm fussing over nothing, he is not starving, he eats healthy stuff just seems to hate meat and likes to throw -i will try to chill out!

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 20/04/2012 23:43

Its a mothers instinct tofeed her child its nature that is why we stress about it , does he eat with everybody else ? or does he have his meals at different times , he might start getting bored how long has he been doing it , oh dd hates meat she still wont eat it very often i stopped giving her redmeat for a while ,

hardboiledpossum · 20/04/2012 23:59

If he throws his food on the floor can't you ask him to scoop it back into his bowl himself if he is still hungry? If not throw it away and wait until the next meal.

hardboiledpossum · 21/04/2012 00:00

If it's just meat he is throwing can you not just cut it out of his diet for now?

Mrsjay · 21/04/2012 00:10

meat has a funny texture tbh i hardly eat meat I just dont like it that much ,

Original poster
beansandraisons · 21/04/2012 00:20

I think the texture of meat is particularly offensive to him at times but if he is in a good mood and hungry he will eat it -it's very confusing! But he throws everything including stuff he likes, even treats like cake etc - not sure I've ever seen him chuck chocolate...!!! Grin

OP posts:
TuftyFinch · 21/04/2012 00:25

I agree with marriedinwhite. Also, are you sitting and eating with him?

dreamingbohemian · 21/04/2012 00:35

I've found my DS starts acting up with food when he's bored with the usual, basically, and I take it as a sign to mix things up a bit. So for example, move him from a sippy cup to a normal cup... normal bowls and plates if not already using... try some new foods and flavours...

Basically give him a challenge, that will keep him interested.

tittytittyhanghang · 21/04/2012 15:17

Our 16 month ds has been doing this for a few months now. Im kicking myself for not buying the washable paint as our walls are now a palette of assorted food. We have tried lots of different things like ignoring, changing foods, giving him baby cutlery etc but nothing works. We are just glad that at least the dogs eat most of what lands on the floor. When you find the solution that works please pm me :)

mummymeister · 21/04/2012 15:38

My DS had fairly severe eating problems (still not great but we have strategies in place now) we were told to let him help choose what he wanted to eat to get him to get the (plastic) plate out for it, to get him to help prepare it then serve it up. if he didnt eat it, threw it or threw a tantrum it was a case of keep calm and carry on. "oh dear you have thrown in on the floor. sorry then it is dirty and has to go in the bin" we settled on 3 meals a day with 3 small snacks regularly spaced in between and this suited him. worth a try. all the time he knows it is a button pusher for you he will keep on doing it. do let him play with his food though - DS used to squish pasta shapes up in his fingers first then eat them with a spoon. we always figured table manners could wait.

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