to go back to work this early..

[FrizzyFrazzled]

OK this might be a bit of a long and fairly dull story but I don't want to drip feed...
I have a DS, 2, and a DD, seven weeks. I am a writer by profession, when I got pregnant with DS I quit my job in a university media office to freelance, which went very well. I got an offer of some in--house work when DS was four weeks old. As my DH was then a full time musician, he could look after DS while I was at work so it was fine, although a wrench to leave him that early, obviously, it seemed best for the family.
I continued freelancing along with some onsite temp work here and there, with DH watching DS when I was at work, and continuing to do music.
SO when I got pregnant with DD, it coincided with DH's work drying up so he got a job as a bar manager - is full time hours, some nights, some days - and I just did at-home work.
Now, DD is seven weeks old and I'm doing the odd bit of freelance work but not much as I am receiving maternity pay from the government, and you can;t do much paid work while getting that, of course.
An old place of work has called this morning and asked if I could do three days a week in house there, starting ASAP. The three days they want me to work are perfect because two are my DH's days off, so he can have the kids, and the other is a day he works nights, and my mum has said she would look after them at our house in the afternoon.
I would just have to call and cancel my mat leave payments, and could start, we would be about $100 (am in Oz) better off a week than we are with the payments, which would end at the start of July.
While it would be hard to leave DD, I would be leaving her with her dad, and I know my DS and DH have a fantastic bond because of all the time he spent alone with him. It has sometimes made me a bit sad he doesn't have that with DD - this arrangement would mean he would. We were also thinking of putting DS into kindy for a day a week soon anyway.
I just don;t know whether to say yes to this job or not? It is temporary with a view (quite likely, apparently) to going permanent in July. Is it too earl? DH is supportive of whatever I do, but said "once you go back to work, that's it", which is true.
Freelance stuff is thin on the ground in this climate, so on the one hand I feel I should snap this up. On the other.... I don't know. Is it too soon? The days would be Tue, Wed, Thur, so I would get Fri to Mon with the kids.
Thoughts please???

Not something I could do but if you think it's worth the extra money and want to do it that's your choice, nobody else's business. Aswell your children will be with their dad/grandma they'll be fine.

Yanbu it wouldn't be my choice tbh but we are all different, and if you feel ok about it then do it. You will still have lots of time with the kids and the rest of the time they will be with their dad (or grandma). Just be sure it's actually what you want though.

If you are comfortable with it, why not. Nobody bats an eyelid when a dad goes back to work. Your children will be with their father - and as you have said that will probably mean a closer relationship - and grandmother so you're hardly abandoning them. Three days a week sounds manageable too.

I had to return to freelance work when DS2 was two months old, leaving him with a childminder a couple of days a week. I had had to commit to the work in the early stages of pregnancy and with a history of miscarriage couldn't risk ending up with no baby and no work. If I had cancelled they wouldn't have offered me work again. Not totally ideal, but I still got loads of time with the kids and it was nice to be earning.

Same as others have said. This wouldn't be my choice but if your DH was going back to work no one would bat an eyelid. If this is what you want and you have the support to do it go ahead. DH and DG are perfectly capable of sharing the nurturing role with you.

Thanks for your replies!
It wouldn't be my first choice either to be honest, I would be very sad to leave my DD and would definitely put off starting for a couple of weeks, but at the same time I don't want to turn down an opportunity that allows us not to put DD, in particular, in childcare, and then be left in the lurch when my mat leave payments end in a couple of months. Is so so hard - and like you say, men go back to work and no-one says anything!! My two main problems are leaving DD and, shamefully, what people - mainly other women - will think of me.
Still mulling it all over...
(I should have said in my first post - the position I took when DS was four weeks old was only two days a week, for eight weeks - reading back it makes it sound like it was full time..)

I'd go for it
A lot of people put 12 week babies into nursery full-time
I know our nursery started taking babies at 3 months

3 days a week sounds absolutely perfect. I have always worked full time and thought if there was a job that could be done in 3 days, it's about the most perfect balance you could get. Nice long weekends and a bit in the middle to do some work! Go for it!

I'd go for it. Your set up sounds great in terms of childcare and in this climate it sounds an opportunity that you want to take advantage of.

Oh thank you, you have all made me feel better about it :)
Realistically, I will probably take it as if I didn't,and we ended up struggling, I would feel terrible. Is just hard, but no harder than it is for millions of other women doing exact same thing!

I would be inclined to think that if you were going to need a job in 10 weeks time and you have been offered one now that was perfect except for timing, I would take it, especially as you say they are hard to find. It's going to be hard enough to leave dd, whether it's now or 10 weeks time, but jobs with the exact kind of hours you want don't come along often. Is there any possible temporary flexability on the hours for 2 months,like 1 day at home or less hours til she is the age you would have had to leave her?
I say all this, and would like to think I could do it if it was me, but can understand how difficult it would be. Don't worry about what others think, do what's best for you in the long term.

Hop, I know they would be flexible with me working from home if, say, someone was ill or childcare fell through but not as a scheduled thing, if you know what I mean. And to be honest, the set up is so ideal now that I don't really want to push for more! (Not for a while, anyway ;) )
When you put it like you did in your first sentence, it is a no-brainer. Bloody emotions are what stuff it all up. But you are right, would be the same in ten weeks anyway.

I went back to work when ds3 was 9 weeks old. It was a case of having to. I had to spend a loooong time in hospital before the birth and had my SMP starting early. All I got was the basic however many weeks, and that was it. As I had planned to work longer before the birth and had to stop suddenly I had to use it that side.

No harm done. I didn't expent anyone else to provide me with a pot of money, so back to work it was!!

personally I wouldn't even consider this as they arnt babies for long. But if it's what you want to do then go for it :)

I went back when ds3 was 14 weeks, he done two days a week in nursery and one day at home with his dad. I cried a lot the first week and spent all of my breaks expressing my milk. It was tough but needs must.
Your baby will be with people who love her and be perfectly fine. Go for it.

I wouldn't think twice about it. You get to work, your children get to spend time with their dad- win win.

I gave up work after dd1. I was fortunate to get back to work when she was two, and realised then that I could have done it sooner- I think I was just swept along with this feeling that mum should be the one at home, and because we could afford to live on dh's income, I felt I couldn't 'justify' going to work

By the time I had ds, I went straight back after maternity leave- I felt a lot more confident to do what was right for me and my family rather than feeling pressurised to stay at home for ages.

Your set up sounds great

It's so easy to say when it's not me, as I didn't have to go back til dd1 was 9 months - I can see hard it is to go back at 7 weeks, especiallly if it had been my dd2 who was a limpet on me for a year!
Good luck, and try to thinks on the positives of four days in a row with you and that they are with their dad and your mum the rest of the time.

It sounds like work is hard to come by at the moment and you might regret turning this down if you struggle to find work that fits so well with your family life later.
Your DD will be looked after by family who love her and she won't suffer because of it. The only person this will be hard on is you, so if you think you can cope with it and won't resent being back at work then you should go for it.

Thanks all, I appreciate that you all have a lovely supportive attitude even those who wouldn't do it themselves!
As I have worked from home for a long time, up until week 39 of pregnancy, it WOULD be nice to leave work at the office and not thinka bout it at home - it is all very well working from home but you never get to switch off really and concentrate fully on one thing.
Thank goodness for Mumsnet :)