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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to this door to door sales person?

75 replies

valkilly · 19/04/2012 23:48

DH thinks I was rude, I disagree - need the MN jury to reassure me I am right deliver a verdict.

I was pulling into the driveway, coming home from work when I noticed a young man with clipboard calling to the neighbours'. He saw me pull up in the driveway, take 2 DCs out of the car and hurry into the house as it was raining again.
Obviously not an ideal time to cold call to someone's house but undeterred, 2 seconds after I closed the front door, the doorbell rang.

I answered against my better judgement as I knew he knew I was home. I still had my coat on and was holding 8mo DD. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "Hello?"
Him: "Good evening Madame, how are you today?"
Me: "it's not really a good time to be honest."
Him: " Ok well this will only take 2 mins of your time."
Me: "I don't have 2 minutes, sorry."
Him: "Well can I just ask who your current Electricity provider is?"
Me: (clearly able to see his company's logo on his jacket) "Look, we were with your company and we switched so I am not interested"
Him: "Oh you switched away from us? Can I ask who to?"
Me: " I don't want to go into it. Bye now".

DH was home before me so he was inside and heard the full exchange. He said I was very abrupt and rude (he was slightly envious though as he always gets stuck at the door with these people). I think I wasn't overly rude and if I was a bit abrupt, it was the sales person's fault for calling to the door at that time!

So over to you - AIBU in thinking its ok to deal with cold callers in this way?

OP posts:

Shakey1500 · 20/04/2012 12:53

Rude would have been not entering into any conversation at all and slamming the door in his face. I think you were firm but fair

Pendeen · 20/04/2012 12:57

The moral blackmail that many charity people attempt to impose at the doorstep is, to my mind, far more offensive than some desperate salesperson's tactics because it's easier to refuse commercial interests than pleas on behalf of sick children or animal cruelty or the like.

LondonKitty · 20/04/2012 13:00

I think you were polite but firm. Not rude at all.

Goolash · 20/04/2012 13:19

Not at all rude. You said no, then like any sales person they persist and try to find a way to engage in a conversation. You gave a lot more info than many would have.

Intrigued to know how your dp would have handled the situation.

ArtVandelay · 20/04/2012 13:24

You weren't actually rude.

5Foot5 · 20/04/2012 13:28

Not at all rude. You were assertive but that's fine.

I am totally fed up with people who ring up to try and sell me stuff or blag a bit more charity from me - usually when I am cooking tea.

I usually get DD (16) to answer if the phone rings at that time and if she doesn't know who it is ask where they are calling from. She then repeats it out loud and if I don't want to take the call we have a signal I give which means she is to say I am in the bath. I have tried to persuade her to be a bit inventive and say I am too drunk to come to the phone or something but she is too embarassed to do that.

Iwantcandy · 20/04/2012 13:38

He was being rude! He knocked on your door uninvited and didn't leave when you said it wasn't a good time! I hate these callers. We have a constant stream of people selling utilities, cleaning products, fish, manure, god, collecting for charity etc etc. We don't have a single day without several callers. I often think they are checking whether or not the house is empty

Empusa · 20/04/2012 13:39

"Also find it hard to be polite with comments like I got last night "do you know someone who has had cancer""

I'd lose my temper at that

knowitallstrikesagain · 20/04/2012 13:55

YWNBU.

I also don't agree with the 'go easy on them, it mut be a hard job' in the same breath as 'and they work on comission'. Surely if you waste their time talking nicely to them for ages with no intention of buying/donating/switching at the end of the conversation, you are wasting their time and therefore cheating them out of a possible commission elsewhere? You were firm and as polite as the situation called for. Those of you who think OP was rude because she firmly shut the door after repeatedly explaining that she would not be switching, what would you have done?

Imagine if a friend came over uninvited and you were having a rough time, you said 'now is not convenient' and they continued to talk on the doorstep teling you it would not take long! Would they still be a friend?

knowitallstrikesagain · 20/04/2012 13:57

With the 'Do you know someone who has cancer?' questions, I generally answer, 'Yes, and I have supported them emotionally and financially through that time. However I already have charity donations in place. Thanks for your call, good luck'.

This stops me punching people who are not trying to be insensitive, they are just reeling off a set list of questions and comments in the hope that someone will donate.

goodygumdrops · 20/04/2012 15:27

YANBU. You were polite, but he persisted. I'd have shut the door too.

learningtofly · 20/04/2012 16:13

I have a friend who deals with cold callers by either inviting them to join her in a satanic ritual/swingers party/to connect with Jesus or asking if they are here for the naturists meeting. They tend to run for the hills!

She has more bottle than I do!

CalamityKate · 20/04/2012 17:16

Whether it's door to door people (although we don't get them anymore since I got one of those signs) or telephone salespeople, I say "Not intersted thanks. Byeeee" and put the phone down/shut the door. It isn't rude. It's to the point and avoids wasting my time and also theirs.

YWNU.

GrimmaTheNome · 20/04/2012 17:25

YANBU. Nothing rude about that. You should have been more abrupt if anything, waste less of his time.

Shutupanddrive · 20/04/2012 17:25

YANBU at all

DublinMammy · 20/04/2012 17:25

YWNBU, he was a stupid, pushy fucker. I hate these cold callers and as for the idiots who put charity leaflets through my clearly-labelled "No Junk Mail" letterbox.......

Quenelle · 20/04/2012 17:30

Well you were probably a bit rude but he wouldn't have gone away if you had been polite so what else could you do?

It must be soul-destroying trying to earn a living like that but if he chooses not to take a polite no he must accept that people are going to end up being rude to him.

My starting point is that it is rude to turn up on a complete stranger's doorstep and start asking personal questions. I will start by explaining civilly that I never buy from the door but if I have to be abrupt and rude to get rid of them I will without compunction.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 20/04/2012 17:30

You were not rude, you said several times that you didn't want to discuss it and didn't have time to discuss it so shutting the door was fine when he refused to take no for an answer.

We were switched from Southern Electric to British Gas once, without our say so. The first we knew was when Southern Electric wrote to us to say they were sorry to lose us.

But when we contacted both suppliers to tell them we didn't want to switch, BG refused to cancel the swap because we couldn't provide them with the details they needed, like account number and name on the account. They refused to tell us the name on the account because of data protection and SE said the only thing they could do was complete the switch over and then have us sign up with them again and swap back, unless we could find out the name and address of the people who really did want to use BG and get them to contact BG with the account number to give then the correct address.

What had happened was that we lived at number 18 and someone at 118 changed their supplier. BG missed out one of the 1's from their address and swapped our accounts in error. Luckily I thought about it first and went to number 8 and then 81 and then 108 and then 118 before I had to knock on every other door in the street. The people at 118 said they had been wondering why their swap was taking so long.

We refused to pay BG when they sent us a bill and told them to take it up with SE because we had never agreed a contract with them and had no intention of paying them. Never heard any more about it so no idea what happened.

dogindisguise · 20/04/2012 20:06

Yanbu - I think you were polite! I am very rude to cold callers. I sometimes feel bad about it afterwards as they are only trying to do a job but I get so fed up with them. I either say 'no thank you' and close the door, or just slam close the door. We have a 'No cold callers' sign up but sometimes they don't see it. One rang the door and I said "Can you read the sign", then he said "I didn't see it, but can I ask you a quick question?" to which I replied "Read the sign" and then shut the door.

DartsAgain · 20/04/2012 22:04

I agree with others, direct but NOT rude.

I, too, tell people at the door I don't do business on the doorstep.

I have heard before that most people switching suppliers in the doorstep find themselves on more expensive tarriffs, and have told a sales person on the doorstep I wasn't being so stupid.

I got the answer that he could save me lots of money so I told him that as he couldn't even get the name of the householder right (his data was for the people who previously lived at our house 5 years ago) I wasn't going to trust his figures.

I was polite and shut the door, but it was the longest I've stopped to talk on the doorstep, I'm normally much quicker.

The quickest exchange I had was at previous house:

Salesman: "I'm here about windows, would you like me to go away now?"
Me: "Yes, please"

Original poster

valkilly · 20/04/2012 23:56

OP here, belatedly catching up on this thread. Thanks to all who replied. Glad the consensus is in my favour!

To those who mentioned letting DP handle it, what usually happens is that he's trying to be polite (he's in sales himself) so he lets them rabbit on for a few mins until it comes to answering any questions. Then he says "My wife deals with all that" or something else non-committal. He hates saying no/not interested but it's pointless not to, because the end result is the same. I do deal with all that house related crap, and I have never signed up to some company because they have called to my door. I have switched energy supplier once about 3 yrs ago for 12 months coz it made sense to do so, then we switched back to the original supplier.

Apart from the energy suppliers and charity callers, there is a certain large satellite tv provider who keep sending teams of people into our local area approx once every 6 weeks. They call to the door, ask if you are "with" said company (surely they have a customer database?!) and then say they are just calling to try to persuade you to spend more per month than you are currently spending check that you're happy with your current package. It's so annoying. My friend got one recently and she was on the phone to me at the time so ignored the doorbell when he rang, only to see him peering through their front window, waving and gesturing her to open the front door. Then he banged on the window! So she opened the door and gave him a mouthful of abuse - stupid thing was that she is already a customer of this company. Not sure who "trains" these sales reps but they could easily lose customers rather than gaining them with the way they behave.

OP posts:

mangomadness · 21/04/2012 00:19

I had to hide in my house once for over a hour to make sure that some bible preachers, who I'd opened the door to and said that I was sick and couldn't talk, 5 mins later they left: I had to make sure that they'd completely gone before I left the house. Wish I'd had more of a response like you.

catpark · 21/04/2012 10:07

I wouldn't have opened the door.

From my living room window I can see my gate and path to the front door. If I see a cold caller coming up the path I don't answer the door, even when they knock on the window I ignore them.

hanaka88 · 21/04/2012 10:49

I'm quite lucky. I'm 24 but still look like an 18 year old if that. So when people knock on the door they always say 'is your mum or dad in' to which I reply 'no sorry' and shut the door.

DonInKillerHeels · 21/04/2012 10:52

It probably depends slightly on tone of voice. I am always very polite, but very very firm. My usual line is

"I'm very sorry, but I never buy anything over the phone/on the doorstep. Thanks very much, but I'm not interested. Goodbye."

And put the phone down/shut the door.

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