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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by this?

20 replies

herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 17:20

Dh went out to his hobby last night, called at 9 to tell me that he had won his 2 matches and the games were over.
He rolled in at 2.30 this morning.
I'm pissed off, I was up and down Monday night with sick ds2, on tues night I gave up and just slept in with ds2, last night again he was ill and cause husband didn't come in it meant again I was up all night again.
I then got up, got 3 kids ready and went out, leaving his comatose in bed.
So I'm pissed off. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
JustHecate · 19/04/2012 17:27

No. It's something to be pissed off over.

But how big a deal it is depends, imo, on if this is typical behaviour or a rare thing, and if there's double standards (ie you going out on the lash wouldn't see him doing all the family stuff and leaving you to sleep)

fedupofnamechanging · 19/04/2012 17:28

YANBU. The question though, is what are you going to do about this?

I think your 'd'h ought to be doing the next few nights of getting up with the dc, at the very least.

Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 17:29

It's once a week he goes out, normally till midnight. Then comes in and wakes me and pisses me off!
I go out one night a week, am out 2 or 3 hrs, but I do get free time in the week.

OP posts:
boringnickname · 19/04/2012 17:30

hes in bed? why isnt he at work???

Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 17:34

He is now. But I got up and went out, no idea when he went to work, I'm not his mum so I wasn't waking him. If he was late its his problem.

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boringnickname · 19/04/2012 17:43

Christ he sounds like an utter twat - he will lose his job if he pulls stunts like that too otften. Id be so flaming angry herewego - He will probably blame you if he was late Angry My friend has a DP like this, hes a cunt too - blamed her once when he was late for work because he was out on the piss until 4am! Wanker. Id get rid of both of them actually

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/04/2012 18:25

OP, this wasthe third night of your DS2 being ill - what was DH's involvement te previous two nights? Did you and he discuss how to manage DS2's illness, e.g. turn and turn about for getting up to attend DS2?

In short - do the two of you communicate at all?

AceOfBase · 19/04/2012 18:29

By any chance does he play in a pool league like my dh (when he's onshore)

Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 18:48

Generally I do the nights, he leaves for work at 8 am most the time and I don't work till 11 so I use between 9 and 11 to relax. But today he was starting late so last night was the only night that him getting up would have been ok.

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Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 18:49

Yes ace.

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AceOfBase · 19/04/2012 19:01

Then i can absolutely sympathise. Though I do not expect dh home straight after the matches as we live miles away and he doesn't drive so he often waits for a lift from his friend who owns a pub. Still, I hate pool season. It's over soon though.

Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 19:03

I am fine with 11 or 12 home time . But 2.30? Grrrrr.

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WhereYouLeftIt · 19/04/2012 19:03

So if you generally do the nights OP, and he would normally have been out until midnight anyway - he was two and a half hours later than usual, and you wouldn't have expected him to deal with DS2 anyway.

Your pissed-offness seems to have more to do with sleep deprivation than DH?

Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 19:11

If he had been in at 12 I would have let him get on with it from then on, but I ended up taking de into our bed so I could sleep a bit, which meant not much sleep at all.
I'm pissed off that he didn't think when he called at 9 that coming back at a reasonable time so he could take over would have been the grown up way of helping.

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 19/04/2012 19:15

Am not sure why you are doing all the nights, if you both have to go to work (even if you do start later).

Personally, I think your dh ought to have stayed home last night and given you the chance to catch up on sleep. Coming in at 2.30 is a piss take, when you have a sick child and a spouse who's been looking them single handed.

In this house, going out is something you do, if you don't have anything more important going on at home.

lovesteaandcake · 19/04/2012 19:16

YANBU I feel exactly the same. I find myself in the same boat about twice a week, so Im totally with you on this one

Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 19:19

Him going out is not a problem at all. We both need time to have our own space. I do most the nights as I work far less hours and have alot more time to myself in the day to rest. But I'm happy to do most the nights with ill kids, not all the nights so he can go out and get wankered. Last night leading to this morning was the only night this week where he was on shifts that meant it would be his night to get up.

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Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 19:20

Twice a week? What is your husband doing?

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WhereYouLeftIt · 19/04/2012 19:27

Did you at any time say to your DH that with DS2 being ill the last two nights you could really do with more sleep tonight? Or did you think this would occur to him without you raising it at all?

Original poster
herwegoagain · 19/04/2012 19:44

I thought me saying, I'm bloody knackered, you have no clue how pleased I am that your match ended early. Was clue enough.

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