Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to cut dd's lovely hair off?

52 replies

titferbrains · 19/04/2012 16:57

She screams and cries everyday about having it brushed and washed... We only wash once a week as a result. It's long and curly and people always comment on it.

OTOH, she loves the tangled movie and is always undoing plaits etc so she can wear it down and have "long" hair. So she will be pretty upset to have short hair.

She is 3.6yo and a nightmare about everything right now, just would like to have one less Lot of battles in my life!

OP posts:
MissLofPubia · 19/04/2012 18:49

Do you have a Home Bargains near you? I bought my daughter some Tangled Detangling spray for 99p(or nearabouts). She's Tangled obsessed too!

MumPaula · 19/04/2012 19:22

I hope you don't mind me jumping in her, being new and all.
I've got that ringlet knotty hair too, (Like Fizz) and after all these years of fighting the curls I finally gave into them.
When it's wet it's down past my bra in the back but is up by my shoulders when dry.
If you don't have curly hair yourself you should do some research on looking after it. My Mum just chopped it all off for school as I would cry and whine when she dragged a brush through it.
Biggest rule is never use a brush and never do it dry. I don't even use shampoo anymore, I wash with some coconut conditioner and then let it sit in my hair till I'm ready to get out of the shower, I rinse it, and put more in my hand (the size of a 50p) pull it though and detangle, add a little oil to the ends for the frizz and leave it to dry. Plaits at night and a silky pillow will mean the mornings only need a spritz with some conditioner and a wide comb or fingers and off she goes.
My Dd has ringlets underneath her hair and straight hair on top. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with hers, we do plaits for bed and school and so far she's not complaining too much.

Original poster
titferbrains · 19/04/2012 20:01

We already use tangle teaser and my v pricy hair products on her hair... It.s the running a found being rapunzel that gets it really tangled and them she cries about having rinsed and combed out. I have curly hair and I hate seeing her lovely locks all ratty and tangled. But every time we put it up she takes it out - usually because she is playing with rapunzel and want to look like her.

I did mention to her that I would cut it this week and that rapunzel looked nice with short hair too...

The problem is not how to care for my dd's hair, it's how to deal with my stubborn 3yo!!

OP posts:
Original poster
titferbrains · 19/04/2012 20:01

running around

OP posts:
stayfree · 19/04/2012 21:12

My dd is 3.5 and never had her hair cut, tbh i love long hair on little girls and everyone always comments on it. My dd's isn't curly but it is long and she has a lot of it. I never brush or comb it much when it's dry, I comb through with conditioner when it's wet, rinse, towel dry and then style in plaits/bunches pony tails before bed, then just re-do in the morning, much easier and no sitting for hours combing through (which i used to hate!). I always think it's nice for them to have it long when they are little, can always cut it if they want when they're older but if they always have short hair it can take ages to grow when they are older if they fancy long hair. Bit mean to cut it just because you can't be bothered imo.

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 19/04/2012 21:26

stayfree I certainly didn't cut my DD's hair because I can't be bothered.

I don't want them upset at having their hair brushed when they don't like it.It is irrelevant to me whether I like long hair.Its their hair and their bodies,and they chose to have their hair cut rather than have me brush out the tangles.

I think it'd be a bit mean if I didn't agree to cut it,just because I like their long hair.

MumPaula · 19/04/2012 21:47

titferbrains I just read that she's only 3. That answers a lot Grin she's acting like a 3 year old. Not much you can do really maybe a trim up to her shoulders would work till she's a bit older and able to cope with leaving her hair alone.
Pity she won't let you tie it up and leave it. Long curls look lovely on little ones.
Dam Disney Movies have a lot to answer for.

DaffodilsAreMyFav · 19/04/2012 23:05

Venetia, what is the conditioner that gets ringlets rather than frizz? I need to know - I have two curly haired daughters.

The · 19/04/2012 23:58

DD hates having her hair fussed with.

Plus she hates wearing it tied back or in clips.

And then to top it off she got nits from nursery.

So after a month of hell getting of the buggers, off we went to the hairdressers and she now has a bob.

She has a rapunzel wig from the Disney Store for days when she's playing princesses Hmm DH calls it her 'hair extensions' Grin

jennifersofia · 20/04/2012 00:20

Take note, my dd is 9, and has lovely waist length hair. It is a complete pain and I still have to help wash/brush/tie it up. I am sure I have spent years of my life on hair, not to mention cleaning it off the carpet! I encourage her to cut it, but take the position that it is her hair and I don't want to force her to cut it now. I do wish that I had kept it bob length from the start!

McHappyPants2012 · 20/04/2012 00:46

I could never get dd hair cut, but we have the same problem with hair washing.

She has natural ringlets in her hair and it looks lovely I even have stranger commenting on her hair

Original poster
titferbrains · 20/04/2012 08:40

Well I think I will just take a good couple of inches off and see if that improves things. Yes it does all Boil Down to her being 3!! I just want the screaming to end!

OP posts:
diddl · 20/04/2012 08:46

With my daughter it used to get tangled at the back of her head so sleeping with plaits was the only solution.

OP-perhaps just trim it straight across to shorten it rather than a bob.

diddl · 20/04/2012 08:46

Oops-just seen your last postBlush

TeWihara · 20/04/2012 08:51

I have just done this with my curly haired three year old, she can have it long when she has calmed down about having it washed etc.

for playing with her hair, clips and hairbands still work.

redrubyshoes · 20/04/2012 08:54

Have you tried a French plait. When done properly it can stay in place for two to three days. Years ago I lived in a freezing cold flat with a boiler that produced very little in the way of hot water.

The thought of dunking my head under an ice cold tap in the middle of winter to wash my hair was so abhorrent I used to go to the hairdressers every three days and have it put into a French plait and then set with hairspray. I could sleep in it and not have to brush it.

Obviously you don't want to take her to a hairdressers every time but ask a hairdresser to show you how it is done. It looks pretty on little girls as well.

redrubyshoes · 20/04/2012 08:56

French plait

kickingKcurlyC · 20/04/2012 09:03

3 year olds still look cute with short hair. In fact, I would say, rather chic.

If it's a terrible pain every day, just try a bob. It'll grow back!

kickingKcurlyC · 20/04/2012 09:04

3 year olds still look cute with short hair. In fact, I would say, rather chic.

If it's a terrible pain every day, just try a bob. It'll grow back!

kickingKcurlyC · 20/04/2012 09:05

Whoops.

DonkeyTeapot · 20/04/2012 09:08

I have fairly thick, curly hair, it's just past shoulder length (after a recent cut). I wash it once a week, always have. It needs it's natural oils to calm it down, when it is washed it goes massively fluffy and remains like that for two days. No way I could wash it every day, I'd look like a feather duster. Anyway, onto my point:

My mum was always made to have short hair when she was young, so she was determined that I should have long hair. She used to yank the brush through it day in, day out, and there would always be tears from me and shouting from her. One day she said "I'll just cut it all off then, shall I?" (At this point I could sit on it, I was about 9.) I sobbed "Yes please!" completely relieved that she would finally stop torturing me. She grabbed her dress making scissors and hacked straight across the back. She didn't take into account that the weight was pulling it down, and cut across at neck level. It ended up round my ears, it was ridiculous, but even so I was thrilled that I didn't have to endure the daily hair-pulling sessions!

OP, it sounds like you are much more gentle with your daughter, but the moral of the story is, only threaten to cut it if you mean to do it, or she'll call your bluff!

MumPaula I too have learned to embrace my curls - there simply is no point fighting them. I don't use a brush day to day, just immediately before I was it, to get any stubborn tangles out. Interesting about using just conditioner - do you use any products on your hair, and does that get them out?

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 20/04/2012 09:10

For my dd the tangle teaser made a massive difference. Tge other thing is her choosing which hair bands and clips plus whether a pony a plait or a big girls plait ie a French plait. Then showing her in the mirror. Also she will brush her hair before I do.

pantaloons · 20/04/2012 09:11

I have very curly hair and either wash or wet it every morning, run my fingers through and put a little bit of Boots Curl Creme on. I've tried the whole curly hair product range, but find the Curl Creme at less than £2 a pot by far the best. It's one of those that if you put a bit much on it will scrunch out when dry.

iwantbrie · 20/04/2012 11:13

I've just cut DD's long straight hair because she got something sticky caught in it and nothing I tried would sort it out! She was the same as you're DD, always screaming when it was brushed and loved the film Tangled. She wasn't bothered at all about having it cut though, she loves it. She looks like that little blond girl from the Petite Filou advert Grin

Original poster
titferbrains · 20/04/2012 22:28

Ha! redruby I did a lovely French plait the other night and she pulled the whole thing out about an hour after I'd done it. I told her she'd made me sad by pulling out the lovely plait and that she had to say sorry Blush

OP posts: