To stop him going out?

[Debsbear]

My 13 year old has just gone storning into his room as I have refused to allow him to go out after school with his friends tonight. He is very tired (struggling to get up in the mornings) and was really rude to me this morning. He does go out quite frequently after school, sometimes against my better judgement, as all his friends do the same and we live in a fairly "safe" area. There are dozens of school kids at the skatepark every evening (some far later than he is allowed to stay) and the local police are always around and know the vast majority of the kids and their parents by name. My only reason for refusing today is that he is tired and he was rude to me, I am now officially the "worst mother in the world" and I am "never nice". So AIBU? (having written this I don't think I am, am I?)

YANBU!! My DS is 9 and I am already dreading the teenage years!

YANBU. As the owner of a nearly 13 year old I know what it's like.

Nope but I were still 13 I'd bet I'd think you were!

Not at all. Rudeness and disrespect has a consequence.

YANBU My soon to be thirteen yo is in for the same reason today.

Have you made clear to him why he is not getting out? Is it punishment because he was rude or just because he is tired? If it is punishment for rudeness then yanbu. If it is just because he is tired yab a little unreasonable unless he is going to bed early and is going to be sleeping. Otherwise he is as well being out playing with his friends.

No, you have done the right thing. It's not a popularity contest, its about bringing your kids up with manners and respect.

It's raining anyway!

"As the owner of a nearly 13 year old I know whats its like"

should have kept the receipt Sparklingbrook. Can you at least get some store credit?

I should get a full refund scuzy he is very intermittent and unpredictable and therefore' not fit for purpose'.

Tittytittyhanghang, it's a combination of both. If he was out then he would end up going to bed later as he would have to eat with his Dad and I DO think he needs an early night. I am also annoyed because he was so rude this morning (and tonight as it happens!!) so I don't think he deserves his privelidge of going out.
Belle - I think you're right!!

Ds hasn't been allowed to do anything 'social' this week as he is far too knackered and we've had rudeness too because of it.

I've explained this needs to be a quite week and he can start again next week with playing out and having friends over.

He is currently on the sofa watching telly in his james already after getting wet after the walk home but seems quite happy

And bed has been 8pm all this week instead of the usual 8.30 and reading til 9 - he needs sleep!

YANBU - my boys aren't 13 yet, but I often get told i'm 'the worst mother in the world' for really quite minor discipline - like asking them to tidy up the lego, not letting them play wii for hours on end, etc.

I also got told 'this is the worst day ever' over the Easter Holidays because I wouldn't let them have an ice cream right before dinner. They're not over-dramatic or anything.

I said DS couldn't have a bar of chocolate and that apparently 'ruined his life'. what a drama queen.

Out of interest what do people think is a "reasonable" bedtime for kids? I knwo it's offtopic, but as I started the thread I'm arguing that I have the right to change it!!

My nearly 11 year old goes up between 8 and 8.30 and reads til he is tired which isn't usually later than 9. I wake him up at 7.20am. He needs his sleep.

At weekends it's usually later but early on Sundays as school in the morning.

I have a 12 year old who was a wideo last week. Wouldn't tell me when she was coming home from her friends then the 2 of them stole her friends mum's phone and kept cutting me off when I called.

I removed her laptop then when she came in took her phone off her. She then had the cheek to tell us that she didn't know what she had done wrong despite us telling her WHY we were implementing these consequences.

my 11.5 year old goes to bed at 9 and everything off at half 9. Weekends he is usually in between 10 and half past and can please himself when he goes to sleep, unless we have plans for the next day in which case its lights out and sleep for half 10/11.

My 15 year old is nocturnal :o

Stays up all night and would sleep all day if she could. Often gets up for school at 7 am, goes back to bed when she comes home at 3 pm. Gets up again after Ive gone to bed an stays up till 4 or 5 am. Some mornings I come down to get ready for work ( 5am) and cant get in the bathroom cos shes showering before she goes to bed