AIBU at Wifes mum?

[Markderby]

Hi there, I recently had a fortnight of work and thought i could be spending it with my wife and two children 4 and 7, but instead all that seems to be happening is where spending every day at her parents, i work quite alot of the time so kinda value the time we spend together!! but seriously all she wants to do is spend all the time at her mums!! (not adding the 6 phonecalls before 8am to see what where doing etc) and also ive noticed this past couple of months my wife wont let me touch her, kiss her, she pushes me away all the time is this something to be worried about? (hmm)

I think you need to communicate with your wife TBH. Did you tell her you didn't want to spend 2 weeks at her parents?

She has the opportunity to spend 2 weeks with her husband and children but prefers to spend it all with her parents and appears to have gone off you physically? Yeah, I'd be concerned! How 'normal' is any of this for your relationship? If it's not normal, I think you need to have a serious talk.

Yeah. It is something to be worried about. She's withdrawn from you. You need to find out why.

Always being with her parents/calling is avoiding being with you, isn't it?

There's a problem here. Talk to her. (in a non accusatory way)

tried talking, no that dont work, tried reasoning still nothing :?(

What do you mean it didn't work?

Just ask her if something is wrong. Aren't you concerned about her, if she is acting so out of character?

Her mother and her are obviously close. If you are working long hours and she is at home with the children then she might have relied on her mum quite a lot and perhaps feels that she doesn't want to push her mum away the minute you get some time off.

Do you work long hours and away sometime? Could part of the problem be that your wife never really sees you and so doesn't really have much in common with you apart from the children?

So she's uncommunicative, unaffectionate and doesn't want to spend time alone with you. Point out to her that no-one can live like this on the very long term. she's treating you like a non-entity.

The two most likely explanations, IMO, are: a) she is having an affair or b) she is very annoyed with you.

So, she is used to you working and finding her own thing to do. Without discussing it you expect her to drop everything to be available for your time off work

I don't think its fair to expect her to change her life for you when you haven't asked to spend time with her.

My DP works excessive hours and in his holiday time I continue with my daily life unless he mentions something. He normally spends a few days doing his own thing, a few days working on the house and the rest with us. I still have limited mindreading abilities so don't know what days he is planning to do what and won't drop my plans just in case.

I think this is a separate issue from your lack of communication and affection but its caused this situation.

How hard is it to say 'hey I'm off work, fancy going to lunch/walk etc tomorrow' problem solved

I totally agree with Autumn

If you were doing this OP, it would be known on MN as 'running back to Mummy'

It's really not fair on you or the kids

"Did you tell her you didn't want to spend 2 weeks at her parents?"

do you mean before he was on his leave or now that it's happening?

"Did you tell her you didn't want to spend 2 weeks at her parents?"

do you mean before he was on his leave or now that it's happening?

whoops!