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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider letting a builder work on my house while I am out of the country...

28 replies

stella1w · 19/04/2012 00:33

it involves knocking down walls, fitting a kitchen - lots of mess and inconvenience for a month - I will be out of the country so could avoid this but am I setting myself up for more problems eg. security issues, builder taking the piss and not working hard? things getting installed in wrong place despite spec? Haven't managed to finda builder through personal recs, but could take up references on the bloke who so far seems the most competent.
I don't have an option of staying elsewhere nearby.
If I delay it until after my travels, I'll be back at work with all that stress and the poor new nanny will have to cope with upheaval which doesn't seem fair.

OP posts:
anonymosity · 19/04/2012 00:35

Get someone to project manage it for you - they just need to turn up each day at random times, to check the work is going on / there is someone physically in the place. It means that when you get the final bill based on actual days worked, you will know if they happened and can challenge it if it seems like an over-estimate.

MmeLindor. · 19/04/2012 00:36

I wouldn't because I have quite exact standards when it comes to having work done and would not be able to see what was going on. You have no way of seeing if he is doing a thorough job or just throwing it up any old way and papering over the cracks, as it were.

anonymosity · 19/04/2012 00:37

good point.

ToadsPornFrogsPawn · 19/04/2012 00:39

I wouldn't, even tho I trust my builder. Lots of decisions will need to be made on a daily basis. You'll come back and find sockets etc where the builder thinks would be good, but not where you would choose to put them.
If you get someone to pop in daily for you, make sure you'll be happy with their decisions, or else expect daily phonecalls asking you for instructions

Original poster
stella1w · 19/04/2012 00:41

I'd feel bad getting a friend or neighbour to project manage. But so far, just in planning the kitchen I can see there are endless details like oh.. where do you want the plug sockets? or - that cupboard doesn't quite fit there so do you want x or y? That said, once I am at work, the builder could do more or less what he likes.. turn up at 8, bugger off til 3 etc.. unless I ask the nanny to report back to me which doesn't seem fair on her.

OP posts:
ToadsPornFrogsPawn · 19/04/2012 00:45

Where do you live? Someone on here may have used your builder. I suspect most builders would put the hours in if there was a nanny around who could report back, but would be able to get away with a bodge job if so inclined. Ask the builder to put you in touch with some satisfied customers

MmeLindor. · 19/04/2012 00:47

You can get professional project managers, I think (or you can in Germany, assuming similar is possible in UK) but yes, you would still have the issue with the details.

If you are the kind of person who would not be bothered if they fitted a double socket instead of a triple socket, and didn't mind what colour of grouting they used as long as it was done well... I am not. I am total control freak, and would be a builder's nightmare.

mayaswell · 19/04/2012 08:19

I came to say it worked well for me but I knew my builder very well and kept in touch whilst we were away. From what you have said it would be completely and utterly disastrous for you, you would be fretting when away and probably furious when you get back!

My neighbours were all amazingly good, they're so nosy half of them had been in for a good look and had arranged for the builders to do work for them when ours was finished!

It's a no from me.

claudedebussy · 19/04/2012 08:30

you need a pro project manager. i would never ask a friend to do this for me.

of course you can ask the nanny to note when the builder leaves. why not, if she's in the house?

but NO WAY IN HELL would i leave a builder to get on with it. you are setting yourself up for an awful lot of heartache.

MrsSnow · 19/04/2012 08:34

I'd say no way.

Currently having major renovations done and things do occasionally go wrong, for example accidently drilling into a pipe which flooded a locked cupboard (full of important paperwork) if we hadn't of been around we would not have been able clear everything up, dry stuff up, know what had been damaged etc

Also you can give a spec but sometimes it isn't until you see things yourself you want to change things ever so slightly which are more practical for the way you live that a builder/project manager would not be able to do.

PosieParker · 19/04/2012 08:34

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I allowed my DH to oversee stuff, OMG.

Aftereightsaremine · 19/04/2012 08:35

I have always let my builder work when we were away, but then I've known him for more than 40 years, as his dad was friends with my parents. I trust him but I wouldn't let anyone else have such free access without me checking daily, unless there was someone you trusted implicitly to act as PM.

valiumredhead · 19/04/2012 08:36

No because decisions have to made every day with building work.

EMS23 · 19/04/2012 08:39

No, even with a project manager. I had a week away from our build when I gave birth and there were a lot of decisions that simply could not be made without me.

I had a project manager and he was worth every single penny of the 10% of build cost we paid him. But no way I could have been away during final fittings and finishings.

cwtch4967 · 19/04/2012 08:40

DON'T DO IT unless you have someone you can rely on 100% to be there and supervise, take charge and make decisions in your abscence.

If something is not done how you wanted you will regret it forever.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 19/04/2012 08:47

I'd confirm the 'no way!' shout from those above. My mum had her kitchen done while we were on holiday (I was a kid then) and the wrong sink turned up. Mum had ordered a mixer sink with mixer tap but a twin holed sink arrived with the mixer tap. Builder put in the new sink and put the old twin taps back on. Obviously the better choice for the builder as its easier to change the taps but my mum had her heart set on the mixer. Silly little thing that couldn't have been foreseen.

It's all those little things that if you're not around or not contactable at the time it crops up, then they could just get on and do what they think is best.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 19/04/2012 09:12

My DH is a builder and has done this loads of times, never had a problem. If you trust them why not - and at least you get to be away from all the inconvenience. Of course, depends massively on the builder. My DH is reliable, tidy and very thoughtful with clients, some builders I imagine could be a total nightmare.

SundaeGirl · 19/04/2012 09:22

I property develop professionally. You should get your architect to oversee this. He/she needs to visit while you are still here, once while you're away and keep the phone on all the time so the builder can check any details with him.

A properly managed site shouldn't need constant supervision but things will come up that need decisions. It will take over your holiday if you don't put someone else in charge. Pay an independent construction professional (architect or quantity surveyor, etc) to check - def not a mate or neighbour!

Don't cut corners with building work and never trust your builder.

carabos · 19/04/2012 11:06

DON'T DO IT!. We did this years ago and arrived back late at night to be met by our neighbour on our doorstep saying don't go in its not safeShock. It was a month of hell staying with PiLs before we could move back in.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 19/04/2012 11:12

Flip the coin over too......it will be hard for the builder if he needs to ask something he isnt sure of........not all builders are bad, some..shock horror....can be trusted!! Sometimes its the clients who are a bloody nightmare, changing the specs, not communicating properly etc etc.

Never trust your builder - I'm sorry Sundae but thats just a crock!! Some builders can be trusted, you just have to be very careful who you employ. I hate all this slagging off tradesmen!

SundaeGirl · 19/04/2012 12:55

Trusting anyone when sums this large are changing hands is a bad idea.

The whole thing needs to be watertight - no trust involved. You may think it's obvious where the new location for the lights witch should go, your builder may think otherwise. That's why someone - preferably a construction professional - needs to be on your side not the builders.

OP, have you signed a contract with the builders? Is it Minor Works, or a Home Owners contract?

ToadsPornFrogsPawn · 19/04/2012 17:42

I trust my builder, I know he'd never let me down or rip me off. It all comes down to your relationship with your builder and the complexity of the job.

SundaeGirl · 19/04/2012 17:59

The only sensible 'relationship' to have with your builder is a contractual one. Unless you've done umpteen knocking down of walls and fitting of kitchens with the same people then 'trust' is a completely empty word - it just means you like them, and in a building scenario such as the OP's liking someone isn't enough.

OP, I've seen scenarios like this go wrong lots of times before, that's why I'm asking about contracts. Even really sensible people get bullshitted by builders, mainly because the clients don't know anything about construction and are so desperate just to have the job done that they will go along with the builder simply because the builder reassures them e erything will be fine/on budget/on time.

Scholes34 · 19/04/2012 19:35

I'd at least let the builder do the messy knocking down walls bit whilst I was away. For our last build, we were away for the first two weeks, even out of mobile contact. I doubt any good builder will slacken off, just because you're not there. They'll want to crack off, get off site and move on to the next job.

PurpleCrazyHorse - I hate mixer taps, so felt rather pleased for your mum there!

Original poster
stella1w · 19/04/2012 22:39

Right.. OP here. I will not leave the builder to get on with it while I am away. Even if he is totally trustworthy there will be too many decisions and I would need to be there to see stuff.. Haven't signed a contract with the builders yet -have just finished getting quotations in.. does it matter what type of contract it is Sundaegirl.. Ironically I am a trainee solicitor which means I just know enough law to know I don't know enough law!!

OP posts: