To think that if DH wants a shag he ought not to say things like this?

[MrsShitty]

I have nc. I have an ongoing skin problem..not acne...but it is slightly disfiguring and makes me feel low sometimes. It's red patches which are yet to be sorted. Ihave an idea what it is but it's quite a rare (harmless) thing....so since I have worked this out I am planning to head back to docs nd suggest this to them and hopefully will get some decent treatment.

This skin condition is up and down...sometimes it is hardly there and other times, especially if I am tired it is visible. DH KNOWS I am affected by it...I feel unattractive but deal with it.

When it's "up" I am ok...but don't like comments. He has come in from work all horny and great! I am up for sex...we get the DC off to bed and the plan is to chill a while and retire early...he's al over me like a rash (no pun intended)

Then were in the kitchen getting a drink and I stand directly under the light....he scrutinises my face and looks and says "Are you due your period or something...?"

I see him looking and move from the light...I get the shits with him because when you're having a bit of a flirt and some pre-sex chat you just don't WANT comments like that.

I said "Why have yu said that?" and he was all "Oh well I felt concerned...worried when I saw your skin."

YES it isn't great today but WHY say that? He KNOWS I am trying to sort it out but having seen a specialist and had a biopsy and tred creams of varying nature I am thinking that I MAY just have to live with it and I want to feel attractive NOT have it pointed out. AIBU because I got shirty and he got shirty back and said I am too sensitive.

PLEASE dont ask me "Is it this?" and "Ooh it could be that" because I have explored most avenues and don't want this threat about that.

THREAD not threat. {Freudian slip}

You poor thing
Yanbu

Could it be that your husband is just trying to help you figure out what it could be? Have you approached the idea with him that it could be related to your period hormones, or was it completely out of the blue?

Yanbu
My DH can be just as insensitive at times.

He has commented that it is worse before periods but I relate it to being extra tired tbh. Though I suppose it could be...he just shouldn't try to "Help me figure it out" when we are having a precluder to a sexy night in together.

I find it very hard because I had beautiful skin before. It is very, very fair and was flawless...I feel like it's a punishment or something.

I sympathise - I had flawless skin until I hit 25 and have had rosacea type skin since (doesn't respond to rosacea treatments though). It really gets me down and I am very touchy about it so if DH mentioned it in the way yours did I would be very unimpressed!

My DH likes to analyse things, try and workout how things work and try and fix them. Trying to work out if your skin and time off the month were linked would be exactly his style.

If we visit people he ends up mending things.

He's really uncomfortable with things he can't fix.

Well that's me startail I am pretty sure I have found out what it is...and can't wait to tell the dermatologist as he will be gobsmacked...it's taken me a year of research tbh and it IS a rare thing. But my DH is more the kind who says "Just drink more water" than trying to work things out.

everybody shit isn't it? I never got this till I was 37 and it's been a year and a half now.

My DH would probably blurt out something like that, bless him, but it would only be out of concern for me.

YANBU though. It's hard not to be sensitive about skin problems.

I resorted to acupuncture to get my acne under control in time for my wedding....

Its horrid when something just kills a nice pre-shag mood isn't it? To be fair to him, I think it sounds like he was just being concerned. Get him to give you a massage to bring back that loving feeling...

Yanbu but men can just be so insensitive. I've got alopecia, dh sometimes seems to be looking closely at my hair, then insists he's not. I used to have lovely hair too. Very unfair isn't it :(