or has friend lost plot and overstepped legally?

[Jamillalliamilli]

She?s very different ways of viewing things anyway and some mh difficulties. I listen to her a lot daily and really struggle to be objective any-more.

Randomly asked me on phone last night "where do you find the identity number" for a bicycle so she can tell the police she?s ?got a stolen bike.?

Asked her to start at the beginning and got this: She noticed ?a tatty looking bike leaning against a sign? across the road from her house (beginning of a little nature reserve and walk) and it wasn?t locked. Still there two hours later, (early afternoon) so she went and took it and put it in her garage.

Asked her why, and she said she?d read in the paper that ?bikes are getting stolen from people?s houses and then abandoned, so I?m being helpful to it?s real owner. ? She then waited for evening when she knew I?d ring so I ?could help her? tell the police she?s ?found a stolen bike.? (she knows I?m on holiday and may not get reception btw)

Other things; she has cctv so could have turned her camera and recorded, if she was worried about who might ride off on it.
Absolutely hates dealing with the police/authorities because they don?t respond the way she feels they should, and it always ends badly for her and I end up called to ?rescue? her.

Asked if she?d considered the possibility that she?d just accidently taken someone?s bike. She hadn?t, asked if in hindsight she could see she might be seen as having done so? No, feels what she read in the paper and it not being locked means of course she should take it as it?s ?obviously stolen?, so she?s ?being a responsible citizen.?

I?m hundreds of miles away unable to help with any fallout (always dramatic) and think she should wipe her prints, quietly put it back and just let community police know it?s there, unlocked.
I think she?s losing it, but she?s so adamant IBU, that I don?t know what to think anymore or if I should be concerned?

OP just had more time to read your posts properly. Poor you. (god I'm being the rescuer now :-) joking aside I really feel for you. This sounds like a very complex emotional relationship. The bike thing can be dealt with fairly easily with one of the suggestions above. You sound incredibly supportive to the point of being her carer, rather than, or as well as friend. She is very lucky and this ongoing situation must take a hell of a lot out of you. You probably need to establish support for yourself whether this is working out how to draw up stronger boundaries with her or withdrawing a bit and getting someone else to step in. Does she have a community support worker of any type?

Re: your question about her being a vulnerable adult. Yes from what you've described of her behaviour and the past inquiry its probably likely she would remain considered as one by the usual definition.

RE: the triangle thing. It really does seem to be a pattern there of her rescuing something, wanting approval from an authority figure, not getting that approval, turning to you and then you feel you have to rescue her and then you probably feel frustrated and understandably annoyed and want to "persecute" her and the cycle continues. Sorry to descend into psycho-babble and pathologise things when helping people is NOT necessarily a bad thing but it seems wise to try and draw up an action plan to prevent this drama affecting your life so severely and constantly. You sound totally lovely and I wish you much luck. Karma (sp?) is going to be totally with you. She who cares wins!!!!!

What to do with bike. You could call her local police, tell them you are calling on her behalf. Tell them she has found a bike and where she has it. Tell her you will do this but she will have to deal with the officer who calls to collect it or give her a found property number or whatever.

Oh and tell her next time she finds something that has been lost to leave it alone if she doesn't want to do the whole job of handing it in.

OP I think she needs to put it back or hand it in properly.

It is rare for someone not to lock up their bike, but my dippy DSis would do this and then just be really sad when she came back and it wasn't there.

Come to think of it, she volunteers on a London nature reserve and cycles there - hmmmmm!!!