AIBU to think my children....

[iamhereagain]

Are just such hard hard work? I find it so hard to keep up with everything that needs to be done ie washing cleaning tidying bathing feeding etc. I feel sometimes as if they do some things on purpose just to get at me like scatter cerial around the place smash eggs touch my make up etc AIBU to be so fed up of the daily slog?

yeah they really do all of that on purpose don't they???
Being a parent is hard work...did you think it would be a walk in the park?
If you don't like your life you should change it, not blame it on your children.

Of course you're not unreasonable to feel fed up, you would be very unusual if you enjoyed it all, all of the time.

I think it does get better as the children get older. How old are your children?

The good bits are supposed to outweigh the crappy bits. Try to do more of the stuff that makes you all happy. In our house that is petting zoo or any animal time.

Did you have to be so mean thatisall?
Try being nice, works wonders.

It does feel like groundhog day sometimes when your kids are little, but trust me it's better when they are older in terms of not having to do everything for everybody all the time.

Little kids are good fun though, and I know it's a cliche but time really does pass quickly. I would cheerfully turn the clock back a few years and trade a tidy(ish) house for kids I could still pick up and cuddle. It's not quite the same when 2/3 are taller than you

allthese I suppose it was a bit snappy, but I just hate it when parents blame the children for their unhappiness.

Really is ANYONE up to date with ALL the housework?? no! But its unfair to be narky with the children for it, no? Frankly Id do ANYTHING to be rushed off my feet with children right now but like many others I can't conceive any more so when I read about people complaining about their lot and blaming the children, tbh it just pisses me off.

The advice stands though. If you don't like your day to day, if it makes you unhappy more often than it makes you happy, then the op is the one who needs to change...because the children can't.

Heavens thatisall you are coming across as v bad-tempered.

The OP is having a bad day. No need to make it worse.

fair point, i shall leave you alone OP, hope your day improves. Don't mind my grumpiness, has just been a stressful few days fertility and family-wise and feeling raw.

My suggestion honestly; get some help with the daily grind; you don't need to feel like this. Talk to dp if you have one or a family member about having a day off from the house and children?

just don't let ANYTHING come between you and your appreciation of your little ones, they are an absolute blessing.

Yanbu

We all have these days!! When the days over and the kids are asleep go have a peek at them then you will remember why we run outselfs ragged!! Hope your day improves! Try get some rest it works wonders!! I have been trying to tell my 4month old that for the last week!! Oh how I miss sleep :)

Thatis it's nice to know you are such a perfect parent that never gets exhausted and stresses out.

clearly i am becoming an angry lady today and OP choice of words touched a nerve.

My original response was blunt but was in response to the comment that the dc 'do some things on purpose'. I hate the idea that children are blamed for being children and like I said, though it was blunt, my advice still stands, 'change something'.

op if my response upset you or made a bad situation worse, i apologise, I mean that. Your choice of words upset me in relation to my current personal circumstance, thus my reaction, but it is unfair to take it out on you. Sometimes I have appreciated a more firm response to my problems, worries, rants over a softly softly approach, but that does not mean that you do.

I hope my approach doesn't make you disregard my comments because they are valid: sometimes we all need a break to appreciate what we have.
We all have shit days, we all get exhausted, my objection was purely to the idea that it was the children's fault (It's a pet hate of mine.) and not to you feeling overwhelmed (it's natural).

my2cents i don't think they make those particular medals because none of us would receive them

Well I love my DS very much but sometimes I get fed up of the daily slog as well. It is so relentless, and no matter how hard you work you have to do it all again the next day. It can be hard to balance all the different priorities, e.g. trying to spend fun time with children and plan interesting play opportunities while simultaneously staying on top of all the housework and cooking that needs to be done.

thatisall I am quite confident that children sometimes do annoying things 'on purpose'. Saying this is not about resenting children, it's just a statement of fact - doing this kind of thing is not inherently vicious behaviour, it's a developmental stage and quite a clever way of manipulating their surroundings. (My little DS has some very frustrating but inventive ways of getting my attention when I am on the phone!)

OP I hope you have a better day today. At the risk of sounding patronising, here are some of the things that have helped me:

• deciding it doesn't really matter if my 3 year old DS is covered in felt-tip pen and doesn't have a bath every single day
• not caring how many toys are on the floor until teatime
• trying to make some of the housework into a play activity (e.g. I give DS a blunt knife and a mushroom to chop when I am cooking, and tell him how helpful he is being)
• picking my battles carefully (e.g. I have moved my make-up well and truly out of reach!)
• sometimes just leaving the washing up in the sink and going out instead, because the house can't get any messier if we are not in it, and a fun day out does help enormously

I know that sunnydelight is right and that this time will pass very quickly so we might as well enjoy it if we can. The housework will still be there in 10 years time

I had one of those days and nights last night. This morning ds has.popped his head up and given me the most massive grin. All is forgiven! Now we just have to get daddy to do all the fixing of everything we broke yesterday with a smile on his face.

Lashings of always helps. Not at this time though. Oh and make bath time relax time. I just pop mine in wash and leave to soak whilst I pick up phone or book, sit on loo lid and relax!

YANBU

Those who've struggled to have kids, those who have had them easily etc all feel like this at some point I'm sure.

I actually agree with thatisall. If you don't like your life change it, don't whinge that all the bad bits are your childrens fault.

OP - ff your children are routinely chucking cereal around and smashing eggs then perhaps some dicipline might be in order?

ff = if

How old are your children, if they are 2 then dropping an egg can be easily remedied by keeping them out of reach/ cupboard locks (for the eggs/ cereals NOT the kids ). If they are 12 then a bit of discipline wouldn't go amiss! (Even a 2 year old can be taught to clean up) Just remember that when they have grown up and left home the floor willl still need hoovering, so make the most of the time you have with them when they are little, it will go so fast. Easy to say I know, and when everything goes wrong we all get a bit fed up. Children ARE hard work, but they ARE worth it!! (honestly!! ) Have you got any time when you can do "me"things, like excercise/ a part-time job, or some pampering/ coffee with friends etc. It really helps to have a bit of time away from the kids 24/7 if you can possibly manage it.

i stuggled for 13 years to get pregnant and now have a wonderful DD. I have days like this too

we all do, its part and parcel of being a parent.

I read the 'do some things on purpose' bit as said in a tongue in cheek way.

Blimey some days are hard with children. Isn't this one of those posts where the op just needed somewhere to let off a bit of steam just like a million other threads on here about a million other subjects? I don't get why it's been taken so literally or why you've received a bit of a ticking off

Sympathies Iam, it does feel like a treadmill sometimes but does get easier.

I know how you feel, OP. My 3 year old DS is hard work; if I'm tidying one room he will be trashing another. My DH won't do anything in the house and neither will my 2 older DCs. DH moans if the house isn't showhome standard but won't do anything. I actually said to him the other day 'this is as good as it gets', with me doing everything and frantically rushing around all the time chasing my tail.

I havent slept a full night since Xmas. I work and have to drop my children in 2 different child care settings in the mornings. I am a single parent. It is FULL ON...and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fed up with PICKING THINGS UP OFF THE FLOOR and teh relentlessness and the NEVER having a MINUTE to have a thought of my own, when I am not totally fucking exhausted. Oh my god, Im so TIRED.

I love my kids. I hate the daily slog with A PASSION. It makes me cry proper gut wrenching, body wracking, snot dribbling big heart crushing SOBS..regularly

YADNBU OP

did i say, how tired i was?

I treasure Quentin Crisp's advice "to the slatterns housewives of England": after two years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

HTH.

Thanks guys was just having a bit of a moan really lol I think they do some thing "on purpose" as they want mt attention and I just cant spread myself beyween 4 of them all at the same time much the pity! To the first person who replied I am very sorry you are having trouble getting pregnant but even people who have been trying for a child for years will im sure feel this way sometimes. Its just the daily household slog that pissed me off last night but today im feeling less woeful lol

tinker - I just thought that was dust - I certainly took that to heart the first time I read it. He's right too - if you leave the dust, it doesn't get noticeably any worse after a while - but once you start dusting you have to keep going...

Daily grind is just that - so perhaps give yourself some time off from it once in a while and let the housework/washing or whatever go hang.

FOUR of them? No wonder you're knackered! we all have days like there OP. I'm sure today will be a better one.

Four children - that must be hard. No wonder things get on top of you sometimes. I am sometimes overwhelmed by all the neverending housework and cleaning I ought to be doing, and I only have one ! (am also a childminder and have lots of children visiting but at least they all go home at the end of the day)

At the risk of upsetting mums who hold down full-time jobs as well as doing all the mummy stuff at home, I do think that being in all day with a house full of children creates more 'daily slog' and mess than all coming in at teatime together. Sometimes I wash up 5 times a day, and I do not like washing up. Today we are going out in the rain with a picnic, so that I don't have to keep remembering that the bath needs cleaning and the floor is covered in scuff.

Hope you have a lovely day today, OP