to be annoyed at my mother....again

[luckysocks]

This is my first post in here so little bit scared... I lurk quite a lot! I need some honest perspective, though.

To give a little background:
a) I am 35 weeks pregnant with a 2.9 yr old DS and have just recently graduated into the really-fucking-grumpy/uncomfortable/impractical stage of pregnancy.
b) My relationship with my mother is not an easy one. She invites herself over regularly for longer than comfortable stays and I'm constantly trying to keep her at an acceptable distance, which means that I generally let some of the minor annoying stuff slide. She never helps out in any way (although is under the impression that she is utterly invaluable) and generally creates a whole lot more work for us.

She is coming over in a month or so, at which point I will be around 37/38 weeks pregnant. She now has an appointment that she needs to attend and is assuming/hoping that I will drive her there. It's an hour drive each way and will mean hanging around with DS during her appointment and sorting out lunch while there.

I am seriously annoyed that she would even ask me, she's had children, she knows how uncomfortable the last few weeks are. It's already very uncomfortable to drive and I'm nervous about being that distance from DH (it's further from his workplace) and my hospital (again, further) if anything were to happen (DS's birth was initially very quick). And I'm upset that as usual, even at that stage in pregnancy, yet again it's all about her.

So tell me. Should I stop obsessing and just drive her there? Or is she being selfish to ask?

What fortunate timing Luckysocks - the MW is sure to advise against that drive...

YANBU and your mum is being very selfish to ask, cheeky devil. 38 weeks and with a toddler in tow, 2 hours driving is not pleasant, then all the sitting around waiting trying to amuse toddler. Nightmare.

Its not actually your responsibility to arrange her transport to appointments. Just laugh and say surely mother youre not asking me at 38 weeks and with little one in tow to drive you two hours hahaha ohhoho, because that would be ridiculous! and leave it at that.

(and im assuming she has managed to arrnage transport to get from another country!)

Well, thank you lovely ladies.... I've let her know that I won't be making that drive and feel like a weight has been lifted.

And breathe........

Admittedly I had my dcs back in the Dark Ages but I do recall my consultant saying that, unless absolutely necessary, it was better to avoid having to drive lengthy distances in the last 3/4 weeks of pregnancy. I'd have said a 2-hour round trip counts as lengthy.

I agree with Inertia - in fact, i'd go further. Say you've got high blood pressure & have been told by midwife to only drive for max of 20mins. Lie as much as necessary! My 2nd DC arrived in 1 hr 10mins - and this after 1st DC took 33hrs!! You & your baby must come first x

mmmme well how quick was your first? DS (1st) was around 3hrs.... dd (2nd) 45 minutes (not to freak you out but it was so quick I was in physiological shock aftwerwards.....Sooooo maybe you want to be givign that car journey a miss!