Asking parents to delay visit?

[yorkieg]

My DS is 18 months and has had conjunctivitis for a couple of weeks, but it has now really flared up badly with a swollen weepy eye. He is out of sorts, not sleeping great and a bit funny with food. I am not sure he will make it to playgroup tomorrow, I think he may need a rest day at home.

My parents were due to come up to stay, arriving tomorrow, for probably 3 nights. I have suggested to them to delay arriving till Thurs, rather than Wed, to see how DS is doing. They have been up to stay before when he was unwell and it was not a great visit for anyone.

But, they don't seem to get this and seem a pissed off about it. I get they are keen to see their DS, but really, all I am asking is for them to delay their visit for one day so I can see how he is doing.

AIBU?

Suppose it depends on how far they are travelling and how often they get to see you all. If it's a once a year opportunity it's more of an issue to them than if they see you every couple of months, for example.

YANBU about delaying visit - especially if previous visits when he was poorly were not a success. However YABU to even consider going to a playgroup when he has conjunctivitis.

first of all you not sure he will go toplay group? he most definately should NOT its highly contagious!!!

its up to you about visitors but he is bound to be sick at any given time when other plans are made .... so you have to pick your battles/illnesses.

are the travelling far? i would still invite them, your mum might give you a break and the distraction be good for you and your little one so in all i tink yabu.

I don't think he should go to playgroup if he has conjunctivitis should he? Sorry, realise that wasn't the question.

Mmmm, part of me th is well it's only conjunctivitis and they're family. It's not like he's throwing up everywhere. If he's a bit out of sorts then he is, no big deal.

But also you're his parent and if you feel he would benefit from a day of peace and quiet then they should respect that.

It depends. My DFiL think that DD is difficult and whines a lot when she is sick so I don't want him here to judge her. If they are like that YANBU.

YANBU

NHS advice is that children with conjunctivitis do not need to be kept off school or nursery.

2nd...no playgroup untill it is clear.

yanbu to delay the trip

my creche lists it as something that if ds has he MUST be kept at home until all cleared up.

Thanks re conjunctivitis, but whether he can or cannot go to nursery isn't the issue. He has drops and they are happy for him to attend.

They visit about every month, live about 3 hours away. I won't get a break when they are here (long story).

Last time when he was unwell and they were here, he clung to me and didn't want to go to them and they got a bit irritated I think and it was rather stressful!

if you feel its not a good idea then by all means your his parent cancel the trip.

conjuntivitis is very sore and draining, the poor thing. hope he gets better soon. and personally,imo, if it doesnt clear soon i would looking into it further, eye drops are not meant for long term use even if prescribed i'd be wondering why its so hard to shift.

scuzy I am heading to dr with him tomorrow.

i am sure you are doing it all right, all the cleanings and sheets and everything and it is hard to get rid of but sounds like he has it a while, poor pet so i'd want it to be investigated more. good luck tomorrow and tell parents another time, your exhausted and your little one needs rest and that when they visit next he'll be bouncing around waiting for them.

Thanks scuzy. Yes, clean pjs, sleeping bag etc and sheets. I think we perhaps had thought it had cleared up and gotten a bit lax with the drops . Hopefully a restful day at home and he would even be ready for them on Thurs. I just feel tomorrow is too soon.

FFS, now they have taken the huff and aren't coming at all. I am not sure what their rationale is. Great example to set your DS.

I have the opposite problem, my DPs won't visit if my DCs are unwell (which is a bit of the problem in the winter, non-stop colds) as my Dad gets fed up with being sick after visiting us.

YANBU OP.

OP - they have made their decision, so you don't need to feel guilty or phone them to discuss it. When they phone you to say they have changed their minds and will come anyway on the day you stipulated agree and then don't discuss it further.

Or if they do decide that will come afterall - you could always have "made other arrangements", to prove the point that they wont get their way by stamping their feet

oh myBOYS you called it right. Guess what, they are coming tomorrow. Glad I kept the higher ground on this one! I am not even going to mention it when they come up.

They were trying to make you back down by threatening not coming - are they like this always?

Glad you stuck to your plans

myBOYS Not really, but my dad can tend to overeact and go in a huff at the slightest of things, and will blame me if I dare to say anything. So I tend not to bother anymore, take the higher ground and it makes him looks childish.