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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to take this job.

234 replies

Pinkjenny · 17/04/2012 16:29

I am a HR Manager. Well, was. I was made redundant in December from my part time HM role, and as you can imagine, there aren't exactly an abundance of part time roles around.

Anyway, I applied for a role at a local University, 6 months maternity cover, earning less full time than I was earning part time previously. I went for the role thinking I would give full time a shot, and whilst it is less than ideal (ds is 2yo at nursery and dd is 4yo at school). I thought I would put dd in after school club three times a week and use the role as a way to see how we get on as a family with me working full time. Despite the low salary, I thought the payoff was the fact that it is five minutes away.

I went for the interview, it was a panel interview, comprising of the person I would report into, her boss and a random. The lady the role would be reporting into (let's call her Jean) just didn't like me, I could tell. She was openly sneering at some of the things I said, so I was amazed when Jean's boss called me later that day to offer me the role. I was slightly confused as to why she was making the call rather than Jean, but hey ho.

I received the contract today, and I had to ring Jean as the salary was wrong and there was no reference to start or finish time.

Jean was perfectly nice on the phone, but seemed to be trying to put me off. I asked about the salary, she said, 'Its not wrong, it's the bottom of the banding' and I explained that I had been offered the mid point of the banding because of my experience. She went off to check and said, 'Mmm, you're out of work (and?) but I suppose you were offered that in recognition of your experience. Yes I am prepared to honour it.' Which is good of her. Not.

After we had established that the flexitime policy didnt extend to start time, she then said, 'there is one other thing, I want to be really honest with you, we have put your postcode into the system and you don't qualify for a car park pass. You would have to drop your children off and then get a bus to work. In 45 minutes.'

Right. I was very nice back, and told her I would come back to her, but she was blatantly trying to put me off!

Dunno what to do now.

OP posts:
AKMD · 18/04/2012 20:49

I am currently going through hell with an awful manager who has ground me down to the point that I started crying today because I got an email from her. If Jean is going to be your line manager, walk away now.

LineRunner · 18/04/2012 20:59

With the benefit of many years' hindsight, and bearing in mind what posters such as AKMD are sadly going through, I would - if this happened to me - ask for a confirmation interview with Jean and her manager, and go through all your concerns in a really upfront way.

Working under a tosser is a nightmare.

CaptainVonTrapp · 18/04/2012 21:20

Take. Jean. Out.

giraffes · 18/04/2012 21:36

pj - good for you. Like many others here, I took a job I wasn't thrilled about with someone I felt uneasy about as my boss. She was a total and utter nightmare for the first year to the extent that I got pg partly to go on ml and escape her (sounds ridiculous now). Anyway, when I went back I found all sorts of strategies to make the job work better for me, largely involving moving around to be away from her. She went on majorly extended sick leave, is never coming back and I now love my job....so all I'm really saying is if it works out with the car pass, then you never know what it'll be like with Jean until you get in there....see if you can make it work for you and best of luck.

FeeltheBeeranddoitanyway · 18/04/2012 22:11

CaptainVonTrapp Wed 18-Apr-12 21:20:18
Take. Jean. Out.

haha Grin thanks canitmaybe

FeeltheBeeranddoitanyway · 18/04/2012 22:14

JEAN

by: Robert Burns (1759-1796)

F a' the airts the wind can blaw,
I dearly like the west,
For there the bonnie lassie lives,
The lassie I lo'e best:
There wild woods grow, and rivers row,
And monie a hill between;
But day and night may fancy's flight
Is ever wi' my Jean.

I see her in the dewy flowers,
I see her sweet and fair:
I hear her in the tunefu' birds,
I hear her charm the air:
There's not a bonnie flower that springs
By fountain, shaw, or green;
There's not a bonnie bird that sings,
But minds me o' my Jean.

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 19/04/2012 06:33

The main problem with starting this job is that I am going to call her Jean.

OP posts:
Pennybubbly · 19/04/2012 06:48

Whichever job you go into, there's always going to be a Jean.
Everyone has a Jean Issue waiting to be dealt with, somewhere in their office.
Don't let the Jeans of this world intimidate you into not taking this job, or any other.
Fuck Jean.

And good luck with your DH's tightfistedness while you're at it Sad
Be strong Smile

KenDoddsDadsDog · 19/04/2012 06:50

The Jean Genie lives on his back
The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks
He's outrageous, he screams and he bawls
Jean Genie let yourself go!

Sits like a man but he smiles like a reptile

Joygirl78 · 19/04/2012 07:15

I once accepted a job I was really excited about, ignoring some negative vibes I had from my new manager at interview. Big mistake. For 9 months she made my life a complete misery and destroyed my confidence. I resigned blaming myself. Only later I realised I was being severly bullied by this women who saw me as a threat. I guess I learned a lot from the experience. And now I have a great job. But it was the shittest year of my life.
Don't accept the job.

HeathRobinson · 19/04/2012 07:16

My main concern with taking this job would be whether you'd easily be able to get back to your previous salary level, when looking for your next job?

Particularly, perhaps, with a less than enthusiastic reference from Jean?

JanePlanet · 19/04/2012 07:26

I took a job that I really didn't want because my dh is similarly obsessed with money. It caused a lot of problems in our marriage and we nearly split up. I resented him for forcing me to do a job I hated and he resented me for expecting him to be solely responsible for the finances. It was a very unhappy time for both of us. I was particularly resentful as it meant I couldn't spend much time with my dc as I was also completing a course as well. Probably worth having a conversation with your dh about it before you start.

trinitybleu · 19/04/2012 09:39

I'm an interim HR Manager and have worked at 2 Universities. Haven't rrad the whole thread, but speak top Jeans boss (as she made you the offer) and sort out the salary / car park pass.

And, personally, being able think "only 4 more months / 3 more weeks and I'm out of here!" is very comforting and gets you through the worst times. Am currently on a 14 month contract and it's far too long.

You're not there long enough to make friends and often it's the perfect opportunity to challenge systems and shake things up, because as long as the boss (who writes your reference / recommends you on, and that can be Director level rather than immediate boss) can see the benefits of your time there, that's good for the organisation and your career.

Original poster
Pinkjenny · 19/04/2012 14:42

Oh. She can't get me a parking pass. And the uni bus doesn't run during the summer Hols. She wants me to see how long it would take to get train and then walk and they will consider moving my start time.

Have said I will clock it Monday. Dh still wants me to try it no matter how inconvenient in order to get the 6mths public sector experience on my CV.

What to do.

OP posts:
KatieMiddleton · 19/04/2012 14:43

Are you London way? Someone sent me a job that I can't do but you might be interested in? I'll PM you if you like.

and I have details for a good couples counsellor too if it helps... she used to be in HR funnily enough

YunoYurbubson · 19/04/2012 14:52

Flicking your husband the Vs seems like a sensible start.

CremeEggThief · 19/04/2012 15:11

Oh sorry to hear you can't get the parking pass.

I suppose you should see how long the journey will take and see where you go from there. What a pain for you though.

AuntieBulgaria · 19/04/2012 15:15

What strikes me is you're getting an pretty dire first hand experience of how they do HR there.

KatieMiddleton · 19/04/2012 15:28

I'm struck by everyone who works in universities referring to HR as an "admin" function. V depressing.

dreamingbohemian · 19/04/2012 15:38

'Dh still wants me to try it no matter how inconvenient'

Sorry but that's bollocks. Unless you are really desperate.

How long a walk would it be?

mirry2 · 19/04/2012 15:39

Why Katie - isn't it an administrative function?

KatieMiddleton · 19/04/2012 15:44

It might be but it shouldn't be. HR should be strategic too. There will be people doing admin (unless outsourced) but the function is not just to do what they're told but to support through advice to help the organisation achieve strategic objectives.

dreamingbohemian · 19/04/2012 15:49

I don't think admin implies everyone in that department is just doing admin work -- it's just to distinguish it from the academic side of things.

Even the top positions in HR are admin by virtue of not being academic posts.

KatieMiddleton · 19/04/2012 15:52

I just thought it telling to refer to the department that way

I think HR Directors of large organisations would find it very funny that anyone would think their role is admin. Most of them have their own PAs.

eurochick · 19/04/2012 15:59

I think "admin" is pretty polite. Most of my colleagues referto ours as "Human Remains"....