to not want a house full of other peoples kids every day?

[sandyballs]

We back onto a park and now the evenings are lighter and the weather is changing we seem to have a constant stream of other peoples children coming in and out.

I do love the fact that my children have this on their doorstep and they have such a social time but am I unreasonable to say on occasion , no don't bring anyone else in - go to the park by all means but come back alone!

I was looking forward yesterday to chilling out after school and watching a film with the DD's, then DD2 comes home from school with a friend, unannounced. I didn't let him in and told DD she had to speak to me before asking friends back like that.

YANBU

i wouldn't like it either.

When I was a kid I didn't hve any friends in the house to play. We had to play outside - in all weathers.,.. (this was the 70s btw)

Ds is allowed friends, but it is generally pre-arranged.

YANBU - I wouldnt be able to tolerate that either!

YANBU! Kids by invite only!

YANBU at all. DD has a best friend who practically lives here but she knows to ask permission first unless it's just waiting in the halllway for a minute.But even then i have had to say no a bit more over the holidays as i need break too.

Some of her other friends went through a stage of just walking in and out when they pleased and coming in to use the loo without asking even though they are all 2 doors away in each direction...i had to put a stop to it as i felt like i was being invaded!!!

I loved the fact that my home was welcoming enough that all my children's friends wanted to be here during their childhood. It's a huge compliment and something your children will remember.

It's not rocket science to set boundaries. If my child's friend turned up as a fait accompli I used to give them a 'going home' time, that's all so I didn't have the uncomfortable task of refusing 'entry'.

Thank you all. I like the idea of sign . A going home time isn't a bad idea either, but sometimes I don't even want that, a straight 'no' is surely not unreasonable if we want some quiet time.

OMG I just nearly started this thread.......am so fed up of all the local kids wanting to come in. It's not a compliment - they want to get on DS's trampoline which they wrecked last year and to play with all his toys so now I won't have any of them in. They actually ask DS "can we come in"? DS asks me and I say a flat No.

The other issue is that DS is autistic and they think nothing of teasing him either which pisses me off but I'd rather he experienced that and was able to leave the situation rather than not experience it and have no idea about how to cope.

So YANBU

No i don't think you are being unreasonable sandyballs and I apologise if my post sounded a little sanctimonous.

After my own childhood in which my mother loomed large as a frightening, unwelcoming figure to any friends I probably over compensated!

I find children tend to forget forewarning along the lines of 'no friends today'. Time limits and a 'no thanks but come over on ....' would be the most comfortable for me.

YANBU my children are older , and i used to get them in and out especially in the summer holidays i had to put a stop to it one day i had 10 kids in my little flat scoffing my crisps/icelollies , I told my dds that they had to give me warning that friends were coming over and they were not allowed just to drop in ,

and as somebody else said when i was a kid nobody was allowed into play it was rare and not unusual we all had to play outside , nobody wanted you in their house ,