How do I tell him without being unreasonable?

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh]

Sitting here curling my toes up in annoyance as I do every evening I sit with dh and watch TV together. He is a lovely bloke and a great dad, but his habit is driving me mad and has done for some time now. The problem is he can't breathe through his nose for some reason and so noisily breathes out of his mouth. It is like being in the room with Darth Vader! Plus his jaw hangs slackly open, he gets about 3 chins and he looks like a gormless idiot. All I can hear all evening is his bloody breathing and it winds me up. I can't tell him though because it is so petty and bitchy - the poor man can't do anything about it! He must think I am the most easy going wife ever as I am always suggesting he goes out to the pub, round to a mate's house - just so I don't have to sit here all evening listening to him.

ANyone got any ideas how I can tell him how annoying it is without being a prize bitch? He also eats noisily because of it which also winds me up.

I reaslise this is a small thing on the scale of things but I am about to go to bed just to get away from the rasping!

Edwin, do you feel the same way as I do? Does it wind you up?

OP please don't be put off by Bambino's description, it sounds a bit like my friend's op and in her case it was really not that bad at all, she felt rough for a day and a half and that was it. A fair trade for being able to breathe and smell and taste again! Not to mention sharing a bed with your wife.

It drives me fucking nuts, absolutely nuts, but we also had a baby 22 weeks ago so maybe I'm tired and cranky. He's currently chomping away on an easter egg and i'm thinking about going to bed to escape the awful noise. He also can't smell or taste.

OMG we are soul buddies - 19th Nov our baby was born so pretty much the same age! So glad someone else knows my pain!

!5th Nov ours! What I find so annoying is I've had many, many conversations with him about it, but he point blank refuses to do anything about it - which is probably my fault as I did mention how much it hurt when they take the dressings out of your nose.

I feel better now just having vented, and knowing that I am not the only one suffering and feeling irritated by it. DH is the same, he doesn't think it is a big deal so no need to mend it. And he has been so great during a hard pregnancy and after and such a help that I just can't be so petty as to complain about it.

Yes it is and linked to heart disease.

Could he have a deviated septum? My friend had this, had it corrected by an ENT surgeon.

Or yes, sleep apnea (sp?). My BF's partner had an operation to correct it. Prior to the operation he was so tired all the time, he would go home on his lunch break to take a nap and would still need to go to bed at 8/9pm. It can be dangerous if you do lots of driving.

It's not petty to complain about it. It really could be dangerous.

Oh gosh now I am really worried, how could I find out which it could be? Am going to have to force him to go to the doctors to get it checked out.

Article on BBC Health
www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/sleepapnoea1.shtml
I think taking the angle that you are worried about his health - this could be a symptom of a risky condition - could be a better approach.

The only way to find out is to go to the doctor.

You have seen Kat's story here -- he needs to be checked out.

Honestly, you have free and excellent health care in this country, why not use it?

None of the treatments for this will be very scary, and it could save his life.