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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to remind everyone to PLEASE hold your child's hand when crossing the road.

24 replies

JaneFonda · 16/04/2012 20:42

I've just got back, and I'm still shaking and feeling sick to my stomach.

I just nipped out to the supermarket, and on my way back there was a little boy of maybe about 5/6 years old who suddenly dashed out into the road. I think he was chasing a toy that had rolled off the pavement.

I was so, so close to hitting him. I think I've hurt my neck from braking so suddenly, but that is nothing compared to the fact that I could have killed a child.

I had to pull over for a while afterwards, I couldn't stop crying and I'm still feeling very teary.

I have made this post all about me, I'm sorry, but please hold your child's hand when you're about to cross, even if you think they're old enough to know not to run out - you never know what could happen. :(

OP posts:

Northernlurker · 16/04/2012 20:44

Good sensible post - now lets look after you!

You need a hot drink and what about your neck? Have you tried applying a warm compress?

Good work on the braking.

Annpan88 · 16/04/2012 20:45

:( hope your alright. You never know, maybe everything happens for a reason and this post helps someone...

Hassled · 16/04/2012 20:48

Well said.
When my DS1 was 4 he let go of my hand and ran across the road. He got hit by a car - driven by a poor 17 year old having a lesson with his mother.

DS1 is alive and well today (this was 20 years ago) but I still remember it so vividly - he hit the ground, he didn't move, I thought he was dead. I had nightmares about it for years and years - and it's the number one reason I've never learnt to drive. We were bloody lucky that it involved a hospital stay and nothing worse. And no, I never would have predicted that DS1 would have done that.

Original poster

JaneFonda · 16/04/2012 20:49

Thanks Northern - I've got a couple of those heatable wheat bags wrapped up, I've taken a couple of paracetamol but I think it'll be really sore in the morning.

I hope that people do think of this post, because I had always assumed DS1 (8) is big enough to cross roads without me holding his hand, but a small distraction can be enough to forget road safety I suppose.

OP posts:

FeeltheBeeranddoitanyway · 16/04/2012 20:49

do look after yourself. have you got anyone at home with you? shock can be horrible. keep warm and snuggled up. deep breaths and get some hugs in if you can. if no hugs available here is a big virtual one...BIG HUGGGGGGGG

Hassled · 16/04/2012 20:50

And I was so absorbed in all that I didn't even congratulate you for your quick reactions - you must be shakey as hell, though. Hope you're OK.

StrandedBear · 16/04/2012 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

JaneFonda · 16/04/2012 20:53

I felt so terrible for the mum afterwards - she was in shock too, and was crying hysterically. She thanked me, but I couldn't really say anything so I just kind of nodded at her and drove off. I feel horrible for that.

OP posts:

Original poster

JaneFonda · 16/04/2012 20:55

Stranded - that is spooky. It was definitely not you, though!

I hope it is just a coincidence, and not something that happens a lot for parents/drivers. I've never been close to hitting anyone before, so this has really made me doubt my driving, I suppose.

OP posts:

JustOneMoreQuestion · 16/04/2012 20:57

Ooh, Jane, I'm welling up! Hope you are ok and not too sore tomorrow.
Thank gooness things turned out ok.
I'm sure that wee boy will be getting more than his fair share of kisses and cuddles tonight, and his mum and he will have learned from this.

Happyasapiginshite · 16/04/2012 20:59

You poor poor thing. You are in shock right now. Have tea with at least two spoons of sugar and phone someone to come and sit with you.

I knocked down a cyclist (who pulled out in front of me) 16 years ago and I still have nightmares about it. He was ok, spent the night in hospital with concussion but I'll never ever as long as I live forget the thud when he flew across my windscreen.

StrandedBear · 16/04/2012 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aribura · 16/04/2012 21:02

It's not your fault at all, don't kick yourself that you "almost killed a child." You did really well to stop in time. hug

PoohBearsHole · 16/04/2012 21:11

I second the don't kick yourself, you did the right thing and stopped in time. Children are unpredictable but please remember you didn't hurt that very lucky child you stopped in time, the mother will probably never let that little hand go again.

You stopped. Remember that, don't think about what if's, that mother will probably be doing exactly the same thing. Hugs.

runningforthebusinheels · 16/04/2012 21:26

I witnessed a near-miss like this some time ago - it was a friend's dc and we were all walking back from school. Child ran out, my friend screamed Stop, her dc stopped in the middle of road, but with a screech of brakes the car managed to stop in time.

I can honestly say the incident made me feel sick, I actually thought I might be sick. I cried back at home.

You poor thing op Don't feel bad - you stopped in time.

MyDogShitsShoes · 16/04/2012 21:56

The thing to focus on op is [almost].

He's fine and you're fine. Both bloody scared both needing a lot of reassurance but both fine.

A really important message to share too, not everyone is so lucky. (A family friend wasn't)

If this horrible scare makes just one person take note it will have been worth it.

Be kind and patient with yourself, don't just "pull yourself together" these things have an awful habit of sneaking up on you when you least expect it if you don't take the time to deal with it.

Don't care if it's mn'y or not, great big huge (((( )))) for you.

Proudnscary · 16/04/2012 21:59

OP you poor thing, how terrifying. My dd ran into the road when she was about two because I was stupidly running after my older ds on his bike and took my eye off her. Car stopped about 5 or 6 metres from her. I felt sick as a pig.

WhippingGirl · 16/04/2012 22:06

v scary - but important and thanks for posting.

argued about this with xp once because he didnt make dc hold his hand when they were on 'safe roads'. i was raging.....how does she know the difference?????

DesperatelySeekingBunnies · 16/04/2012 22:17

Think many of us have been there, I know I have and the driver was shaking as much as me! (Although he wasn't hyperventilating as much but I put that down to me being the one who was 9 months pregnant and had just sprinted after a 3 year old into the road and pulled every muscle in my body doing so, while screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!" at the top of my lungs).

I hope you recover soon- you must have got such a fright! As others have said, everyone is ok which is the main thing. Bet it took the boy's mother ages to let go of him!

LiegeAndLief · 16/04/2012 22:22

I know just how you feel, I nearly hit a toddler when I was learning to drive under similar circumstances. My mum was sat in the car with me and actually screamed (she didn't think I was going to stop in time). Fortunately we were only in a 30 zone and I had the presence of mind to do an emergency stop. It was terrifying.

Well done for braking and I hope your neck is ok.

margoandjerry · 16/04/2012 22:25

Poor you. how awful and well done for managing to stop.

I will remember this and try to drive that little bit slower tomorrow. Some of these incidents are almost unavoidable (because of the unpredictability of children) so all we can do to help is just stay on the slow side.

Big hug and thank god it was you driving, and not some stupid boy racer.

Byecklove · 16/04/2012 22:26

Ugh you poor (and lucky) thing. It's the image, isn't it. I took my lot to our local shop not long ago. We live in a village with a 30 speed limit. There's a narrow pavement outside the shop and cars are normally parked along it when the drivers are in the shop. We'd been in and bought our magazine/snack and I was just putting money back in pocket etc. A man walked into the shop and held the door open for DS 2.5! He walked straight out towards the road and got as far as the far side off one of the cars - me running out with DS 4 and DD in sling just screaming at him. Luckily he stopped but oh my goodness, I was so shaken. Still get teary thinking about it. I just keep telling myself that the silver lining of these incidents is that we are more cautious. Hope your neck gets better (hot bath) and well done for not being distracted and stopping so quickly.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 16/04/2012 22:27

Oh Jane the horror! A little lad ran out of nursery today and his poor Mum was chasing him...he was so fast...he stopped at the kerb but my heart was in my mouth.

Well done for staying cool!

sashh · 17/04/2012 06:17

Can I just add - in car parks as well.

I was about to back out of a disabled parking space (only relevant as some uses may struggle to turn to look behind so use the mirror and these spaces are only realy useable if you drive in and back out) and noticed mum gran and small child getting out of the car.

Suddenly couldn't see child so wound the window down and asked mum - "Oh he's just run to the store", small child, about 5 and mum thought it was OK for him to run down a line of parked cars. No one could have seen him if they were backing out - his head was well below the height of the windows.

OP hope you are feeling better and not too sore.

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