i am not redundant!

[IAmBooyhoo]

ds2 starts nursery school tomorrow. on four days out of the week he will be at nursery, for 2 hours.

his nanny (grandparent as opposed to carer) collected him today and asked how i was feeling about him starting. he is my youngest and i said i was a bit teary about it (daft i know as it is only 2 hours but it's the fact he is no longer a baby). she said "yeah, cause you're redundant now". it is 8 hours a week! i still have both my children for every single other hour of the week when they aren't at school. does she think i will be living the young, single and carefree life now that i have 2 hours (1 hour when you take out time to get back from nursery and go and collect him again) of no children? i think what really annoys me is that this is coming from their father's mother. their father who spends less than 4 hours a month (his choice) with them and she has the nerve to say I am redundant for having 8 childfree hours a week!

sorry. i know i am probably BU but i have had the shittiest day and this just seems to be tipping me over into ranty mode.

I don't think YABU, it just means that you can possibly have a crap in peace, and maybe get time to Hoover before they come home and wreck the place again. She probably didn't mean it to be taken any other way than lighthearted banter, but I would probably feel the same as you. :)

Ah, there there. His grandma was v.insensitive at a time when you're feeling a bit delicate. He is going to need you (as does your other DC) AT LEAST as much as ever as after starting school. Hugs.

i know she didn't mean it to be hurtful (at least i hope!). i'm just being oversensitive. crappy day and big one tomorrow.

thank you for the tea.

YANBU. My youngest will start nursery soon for 6 hours per week. I am self employed, I will still be tearing my hair out trying to juggle everything and yet I have had similar comments about what am I going to with myself with all the extra time I will have. I find it infuriating.

where do people get this idea that 6/8 hours is longer for parents of preschool children than it is for the rest of the population?

My twins started nursery they do 2.45 a day have to pick up early to drive back for DD school... I takes 15-20min to drive to nursery.. on a really good day i have 2hours at home between 1230 and 230. no nursery would take them closer :(

I have people constantly asing when i will get a job - yes because there is people lining up to employ me for 2 hours a day term time only with all inset/school closure days off as we have no childcare support.

twins go full time (their nursery full time 9-2) from september i have already had the oh you can go back to you old job then can't you comments. I usually reply with why yes i can if your happy to collect the DC's after nursery mon-to fri, also collect DD from school and have every school holiday off. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I would actually LOVE a job but could not earn enough to pay for the childcare that i would need - let alone take home any money :(

You are not redundant; you have been promoted. Your terms and conditions are marginally better than they were.

thanks dowager!! i never thought about it that way!

coffee dog i have had the 'now you can get a wee job' comments too, from my mum!

ds 2 starts nursery at 12.30. it's a 30 minute walk home. ds1 gets out of school at 1.55, again a 30 minute walk to get him. on fridays he gets out at 1.45. who is going to employ me for those hours?

Poor i, very thoughtless comment but sure not meant nastily

The 'when r u going back to work' comments are always a pain. Ignore.

I've always wondered how I can get a job in the spare two hours. I already clean in those two hours (not what I want, but convenient for the time being) but people say that I could get a 'proper job'.... [Hmm] it really does rile me!

My didn't work

Booyhoo - That's such a horrible thing to say. Even more so, given who the really redundant parent is.

As for the "when are you going back to work" comments - are the people who are saying this so old that they can't remember what it's like juggling the start/end times of young children in nursery/school, and how much "free" time you actually end up with?

I'm allowed to use the term "old" because I am. But even so, I can still remember the years of constantly having an eye on the clock to get DC1 to school and then DC2 to nursery, then getting DC2 from nursery, then getting DC1 from school. And then there were the after-school activities. I spent so much time running around back then, and I can't imagine how I would have coped with a job as well.

thank you all. i'm glad it wasn't just me being too touchy about it, although i didn't let her know i was upset i just sort of didn't answer and then changed the subject.

off to bed now to get some rest for my ds's big day tomorrow.