to expect my friend to visit me sometimes?

[AndLibbyMakesThree]

I've known friend since we were at primary school (and I'm in my 40s, so that's ages!) She's an absolutely lovely person.

The last 3 times (at least, possibly more) we've seen each other, I've visited her. I don't drive, so it means getting a bus and a train, with my DS who has ASD. I don't mind doing this, although it isn't always easy. DS didn't react very well to being at hers last time, which was difficult.

Before Easter, she again suggested I should visit her. I asked if she'd like to come to mine, but she didn't reply. A week or so later, she again mentioned me visiting her, and again I asked if she'd like to visit me, or if that wasn't convenient for her. She ignored that text, and next time she contacted me it was just a general chatty text. Then yesterday she texted me again suggesting I visit her one weekend.

I'm not sure what to do or why she doesn't seem to want to visit. She could come by train, or she also drives. Her lovely DD is 10, with no special needs, and I can't see why it would be difficult for her to come to me.

To me it doesn't seem reasonable to expect someone always to come to you. But as I've already suggested her coming to ours twice, and she's ignored it, I don't know what to do next.

AIBU and WWYD?

Without knowing more about the whole situation it could be that she's not keen on driving? Or that she is taking the piss...

I think you need to speak rather than text though to sort it out. If she won't come to you, is there anywhere 'halfway' between your locations that you could meet - assuming that it would not be difficult for your DS? She may not realise how difficult it is for you travelling all that way with him.

Ask her. Unless your house smells of poo and soup and you have a giant scary pet, it's bloody weird behaviour on her part. If it turns out to be that she's just bloody lazy, you'll at least know where you stand in her priorities.

Haha, I hope our house doesn't smell of poo! (Sniffs carefully). Although we do eat soup sometimes... No pets, so it can't be that. And while our house doesn't look like a show house, it's certainly not dirty.

I understand she might not want to drive - but then she could come by bus and train like we do.

We've thought about meeting somewhere else, but it's hard to find somewhere that her DD and my DS would both like, especially if it's bad weather.