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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be expect DH to follow wedding guest etiquette and look smart

17 replies

gingerfrizz · 15/04/2012 07:59

I feel like I'm nagging one of the kids. We're off to a wedding, the kids all look smart, I've got a new dress, DH wearing a suit but refuses to appreciate that he should do his tie up properly for at least the ceremony and photos, arguing that he wears one all week and if he's going to wear one at the weekend he wants to be more comfortable. I know he's a grown up but I don't want people to judge him/us for not making an effort and to spoil the look of the photos. AIBU or just a crap DW for bothering about this?

OP posts:
RecursiveMoon · 15/04/2012 08:02

So, he is wearing a tie? How has he tied it?

daffydowndilly · 15/04/2012 08:04

One to let go of, he is a grown up and how he dresses is his business, he is not a reflection of you. Hope you enjoy the wedding though!!

Greythorne · 15/04/2012 08:05

I know how you feel.

I have been married twice and neither of my husbands wore a tie at their own weddings. i see to be attracted to slightly childish, wannabe rebels :)

Both times it bugged me but both times I let it go.

I think you have to do the same. Wear your finest dress, get dressed appropriately for a wedding and everyone will see you have made the effort.

gamerwidow · 15/04/2012 08:06

I think as he is an adult you should let himself dress as he sees fit. If anyone does judge him then it will be him and not you they judge.

PotteringAlong · 15/04/2012 08:06

YANBU - weddings are one of those thiNgs you look smart for.

PermaLice · 15/04/2012 08:07

Surely a properly tied tie, round a properly fitting collar, isn't uncomfortable?

Is he wearing the wrong size shirt?

MrsKittyFane · 15/04/2012 08:09

If he wants to wear his tie like a 16 year old school kid leave him to it.

Proudnscary · 15/04/2012 08:12

My dh never wears ties to weddings. I don't consider a reflection on me and it's his problem if Great Aunt Betty tut tuts at him, not mine.

YouChangeWithTheWeather · 15/04/2012 08:23

A guest at our tasteful country house wedding wore a fleece and jeans Hmm

marriedinwhite · 15/04/2012 08:41

Let it go. If his mother's there, leave it to her; if not one of the ushers will probably say something before the photos or the photographer will make sure he's at the back. If he wants to be a twit and look a twit let him; if it matters to the wedding party, they will have people there to make sure it doesn't reach a permanent record of the wedding.

LydiaWickham · 15/04/2012 08:46

Tell him he can wear his tie however he wants, but he must realise he looks like he's trying to look like a 'cool teenager' - bit sad at his age. Then if he says anything back reply with "sod it, it's only yourself you're going to embarrass."

UnnamedFemaleProtagonist · 15/04/2012 08:48

For weddings my DH wears his shirt undone but with his suit. I think that would look smarter than a rebel schoolboy style tie.

YellowDinosaur · 15/04/2012 09:00

Mine too proudnscary :)

How would you feel if he started to tell you what to wear? 'gingerfizz that dress clashes with my suit and shows off your love handles can you please change into something else?'

ArtVandelay · 15/04/2012 09:03

Can he not just yank it up for the photos? All of 10-20 minutes of tiedness. The rest of the time he can run round with it tied round his head for all it matters really. YAB a bit U - I really think the guests will be looking at other things, the bride for instance... Grin

glenthebattleostrich · 15/04/2012 09:41

My DH is threatening to go to my lovely friends wedding in jeans and a t-shirt. He has been told to either get his suit to the drycleaners or he is babysitting at home whilst I go enjoy myself

hiddenhome · 15/04/2012 11:19

My brother and his wife and kids didn't dress properly for my wedding and it spoilt the photos and really hurt me. She had a pair of trousers and a shirt on and the kids had casual sports type tops on. My brother had a grey work suit on. They all looked a shambles Sad It's insulting to the bride and groom not to make some sort of effort.

upahill · 15/04/2012 11:22

He sounds like my son (He's 15)

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