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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my family don't give a monkeys about me

33 replies

credulum · 14/04/2012 21:52

Have namechanged for this as I'm quite upset and don't want to risk being identified. I've been in hospital for the last four days as I got knocked off my bike and got a bad concussion. During that time I only got 2 visits both from my 14 year old brother, no-one else bothered to phone or visit to see how I was.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/04/2012 21:55

Sorry to hear that. I hope you're feeling better? Sad

Don't you get on with your family?

AgentZigzag · 14/04/2012 21:56

What's your relationship with them like normally?

Why do you think they didn't visit you?

Did you talk about it to your brother?

lovebunny · 14/04/2012 21:56

i'm sorry you are in this position. praise be for your brother.
i'm not going to try to make excuses for your family. you'll never forgive them. at least forgive yourself - you aren't wrong to be angry and hurt. get counselling if you need it. ask while you are in hospital.
wishing you a speedy and full physical and emotional recovery.

Original poster
credulum · 14/04/2012 21:59

We get on reasonably but my parents and sister only seem to want me when they need me to do something for them.

OP posts:
lovebunny · 14/04/2012 22:01

take them with a pinch of salt. give less and expect less. hugs for you.

Whatmeworry · 14/04/2012 22:02

We get on reasonably but my parents and sister only seem to want me when they need me to do something for them.

Wow. How old are you OP?

2rebecca · 14/04/2012 22:03

What about your partner and kids? I presume they visited.

Original poster
credulum · 14/04/2012 22:03

whatmeworry- 24

OP posts:
Original poster
credulum · 14/04/2012 22:04

dd was at her dads 70 miles away for the week (it had already been pre-arranged)

OP posts:
chipmunksex · 14/04/2012 22:04

Are you ok now op?

I hope you have someone there with you?

Original poster
credulum · 14/04/2012 22:09

I'm fine now

OP posts:
toofattorun · 14/04/2012 22:09

There's not much I can say to that because some people in this world are bloody thoughtless and nasty. Don't worry about them. Worry about relaxing and getting yourself better. Hope you're back out and about ASAP. Big hugs to you.

Whatmeworry · 14/04/2012 22:10

OP I'm sorry, its one of those defining moments when you see some unpleasant thing with clarity. You are right to be upset, but now you know how teh land lies it is also liberating, in a sense of removing any sense of obligation to them.

ealir · 14/04/2012 22:13

I'm very sorry to hear this. Kudos to your lil brother though, I would suggest distancing yourself from them except for him who you should treasure by the sounds of it.

unuat · 14/04/2012 23:12

Maybe they were busy, its not as if you had no one at all, you sound a bit of a drama queen to be honest.

AllPastYears · 14/04/2012 23:23

Oh come on, unuat, if your 24-year old daughter was in hospital for 4 days would you not bother to visit?

SpamMarie · 14/04/2012 23:28

I know what you mean. When I was 17 I had an operation followed by 3 weeks of being not allowed to leave the house. Only one of my supposed many friends visited me. The others later claimed they didn't know if they were allowed, when all they needed to do was phone my house and my mother would have told them it's fine as long as they were well. There was not a single phonecall. Needless to say, that one friend who visited me has become a lifelong friend. It sucks when you realise such things. I'm sorry it's coming from your family though, that's even worse. Glad your brother cares.

Babylon1 · 14/04/2012 23:29

Unuat that is an awful thing to say Sad you should be ashamed of yourself. OP hope you're on the mend now x

gargent · 14/04/2012 23:35

I think you are being a little bit meladramatic, your brother must have been sent by the rest of the family to see how you were and to keep you company (I doubt he did it completely of his own volition)

ddubsgirl · 14/04/2012 23:39

i know how it feels,none of my side ever visted when i have been in hospital :(

AgentZigzag · 14/04/2012 23:41

I feel sorry for you unuat and gargent if you're talking from experience of your own family relationships.

Sad for you not to expect more from your family.

Hope your DC (if you have any) fare better than you.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 14/04/2012 23:42

Jeez, you poor thing! It must be bad if you have been in for that long. I am 30 and if I had an accident my mum would have cone straight to the hospital and visited every day. Yanbu, and shame on the posters who have said you are. Hope you are on the mend now op, and your littlebeo sounds like a darling. X

LoopyLoopsTootTootToots · 14/04/2012 23:44

If it makes you feel better my brother, who lived only 20 miles away and the only relative nearby, didn't visit after my daughter was stillborn, didn't come to her funeral, and didn't visit her twin sister until I turned up and showed her to him, 3 months later.

Families can be shit. Friends are what count. I hope you make a full recovery. :)

biklo · 14/04/2012 23:48

YADNBU you can choose your friends but not your family so difficult as it may be you might just have to accept it. On the positive your brother sounds lovely and you can cherish that relationship.

ExcitedElectrons · 14/04/2012 23:50

Sorry OP get well soon Thanks