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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want more animals?

24 replies

knowwhenyouhavebeenbeaten · 14/04/2012 19:21

I am pregnant with 4th child, my Dh and DDs are trying to convice me to get a gecko (dd2), guinea pigs (dd1) and now 3 year old DD3 has aked for a pony and rabbits. Hmm or a dog. We have a cat currently.

It would be me or cleaned up after it/them, took themto the vets, gets fustrated by the extra mess.

Aibu?

OP posts:
SkinnyVanillaLatte · 14/04/2012 19:22

YADNBU if is you who will do the work.

AKMD · 14/04/2012 19:23

YANBU. Talk to your DH seriously 1 on 1 and present a united front.

I will not ever agree to a pet in my house. Luckily I am allergic to fur so that limits the choice of animals I can be pestered about :)

Original poster
knowwhenyouhavebeenbeaten · 14/04/2012 19:26

Thanks for your swift replies! I have DD2 crying on me now cos Dh told her she can have a gecko!

OP posts:
AKMD · 14/04/2012 19:32

I would not be pleased if DH did that to me! Chat speedily required...

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/04/2012 19:33

Definately don't be railroaded. Especially with anything exotic, needs walking, needs litter tray changing (that covers 99.9% of pets except fish)

I was in P@H and there was a family there .The daughter says "I want a guinea-pig"
The dad breezily "OK I'll get you one"

I had a quiet word that he needed 2 , the £35 or so was just the start, the space they need, the food, hay, cleaning etc. He had no idea.

In the end I put him off.
I didn't say, but I thought "Ant child who says "I want XYZ pet" and gets it without proper thought will very quickly get sick of it.

You've already got your hands full and they'll get fuller.

no is a complete sentence Grin

creamteas · 14/04/2012 19:37

OP what sort of gecko? Some of them are virtually no work pets!

We have crested gecko's in a living tank (one with plants, milipedes and tiny insects) so it runs as a mini-eco system and doesn't need cleaning (the insects/millipede break down the waste) like this

We have been keeping reptiles for many years and most never need the vets unlike our mamnals.

Debeez · 14/04/2012 20:07

Agree with creamteas, we have snakes and they are low maintenance and lovely. Although be careful what you touch lizard and snake wise while pregnant. Also lots of hand washing needed after touching for all the family.

YANBU though, your house as well as theirs and it's no secret Mam's tend to do the lions share with regards to pet care.

Mayisout · 14/04/2012 20:55

Maybe guinea pigs - and threaten to sell them if they are not looked after properly (byDH and DCs). Then they are at least out of the house.

We had hamsters which are about the least work you can get but poor little hamsters just spend their lives trying to escape from cage. And DCs always want to get them out when friends are visiting which means the hamsters get messed about with.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/04/2012 21:46

Mayisout "Maybe guinea-pigs and threaten to sell them if they are not looked after properly"

FFS I hope this is a joke. Because these creatures are just disposable aren't they?

And after all, rescue places are bloody falling over themselves to take on guinea-pigs that someone buys on the off chance that their children might look after them but if they don't then what the Hell, we can get rid.As long as they are out the house.

I'm a Mum of 2 rescue guinea boars. BTW

Original poster
knowwhenyouhavebeenbeaten · 14/04/2012 22:15

Hi creamtea, that sounds fabulous, shall have a look at link.x

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 14/04/2012 22:41

Guinea pigs are a lot of work, as are fish (if you want to keep them healthy and prevent weekly deaths).

I have two snakes and they're about five minutes a day. They take up no time at all, don't smell and are quiet. They get fed twice a week which takes about five minutes.

I would imagine that geckos and bearded dragons wouldn't be as much work as a furry either.

ChickenSkin · 14/04/2012 22:44

I LOVE my guinea pigs to pieces but they are hard work. They stink if not cleaned out on time, they need interaction, get bored easily and fed up, they need hay, straw, GP food (which mine are picky about and take great delight in chucking around the cage if it isn't up to standard Hmm ) and they need exercise - either on the grass outside or around the house - constantly supervised of course. Not to mention nail clipping and bathing!

Love em to bits but would I get more when these two go back to Guinea Pig World? no way.

Hassled · 14/04/2012 22:45

We've had gerbils, hamsters, guinea pigs and fish over the years (lots of years - oldest is an adult) and every single time, without exception, I have ended up doing the looking after. Maybe some kids can take responsibility, but mine can't. At least not to standards that the RSPCA would find acceptable.

Now we have my nice easy cats and DC4's guinea pigs (again, I clean them out/feed them/talk to them) and when the latter die, that will be it. Never again.

So YANBU - pets are the devil's work. Apart from cats.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/04/2012 22:59

TBH the animal is immaterial.
It's the fact the DH 'promised' the DC a pet when there's a baby on the way.
The pony might as well be a unicorn, all children want a pony at some time.

But yes, OP ,you'll be doing all the work. Even if your DH says he'll do it, the animal won't wait for him to come home to need attention.
Parents are more or less obliged to do the mucky stuff.That's why they don't sell/adopt to under 18s.
That's why you can be prosecuted if your animal doesn't have water.

Don't be drawn OP. Just say no end of.

BTW who does the cat pooh.? I had a cat when I was pg with my DCs but she never used a tray. It can be done safely, just needs more care.

And aren't your DC happy with the moggy as a pet? Isn't he/she enough?

hiddenhome · 14/04/2012 23:19

It's hard looking after animals when you have a baby. I wouldn't recommend it at all.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/04/2012 01:24

YY hiddenhome.
Especially a puppy or new dog. They need attention when you really don't have the time/energy. So many people say it's like having a new baby when they have a puppy. (3 DC + pram+ dog- )
And how often do you see a dog for rehoming (or any animal for that matter) citing "New baby forces sale"
Our moggy was 11 when I had DS, but she was still attention seeking (but never jealous) they just need time spent.

TheSockPuppet · 15/04/2012 01:37

Geckos are quite low maintenance, we've had leopard geckos and crested geckos and they didn't take much time up.

Just now we've got an Australian water dragon, a Bosc monitor lizard, a dwarf boa constrictor and a big adult boa too and we have cats, the cats are far more work than the reptiles! Grin

Schipperke · 15/04/2012 01:47

We have 3 indoor cats, 3 macaws, 2 dogs. Would like more but not until I get the back garden cat safe and have money!!!

We have a cat missing from Nov 17th so still praying her return....

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/04/2012 02:12

Sad Schipperke's cat.

It's a huge worry when they disappear. You want to know one way or the other don't you?
If someone has taken them in or if they are not coming home.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/04/2012 02:17

TBH I just don't get the appeal of exotics (and that includes spiders, snakes, lizards).
I see them in animal zoos and aquariums but they don't hold my attention for longer than "Ooh, nice colour" and trying to find them.
They just sit on twigs or lie coiled up. I've no desire to hold them, they aren't huggy. And when they eat mealworms or crickets.Or baby chicks or mice.

And they lick their eyes uuuurrrgggghhh.

Give me my noisy,greedy,messy little guinea-pig boys.
And SockPuppet don't let your big adult boa near the webcam when I'm MNing with GP2 (the little pig. He's not lunch)

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 15/04/2012 02:29

I would say "Here's a cat care rota. When you've proved to me you can look after the pet we have, then I'll consider more."

As I've said on another pet thread, having pets don't teach kids responsibility, because there's no negative outcome to the child of not exercising responsibility- the negative outcome is split between the pet and the parent. The parent is not going to let the pet starve are they?

Schipperke · 15/04/2012 02:35

70isaLimitNotaTarget

thank you. She is a big softie, stripey cat. Paid a compamy to find her in case we weren't looking at the right places but still no joy. Miss her so much. She was my teddy bear.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/04/2012 02:38

Parent won't let animal starve but how many animals suffer bit by bit by being ignored.
Not out & out cruelty but neglect.

"I can't be bothered checking the rabbit or guinea-pig has got water. "
"They had fresh food yesterday, how much can they eat"
"I'll clean the cage tomorrow, it's raining"

So an animal sits hungry, with an upturned water bowl.In it's own wet stinking bedding.
And quite possibly by itself.

SadAnd people always have the view than some animal charity will mop up their mistakes. The children have got fed up with it. Give it away.

Disposable when they outlive their usefullness.

My DD is delighted every day that we got our boars. She feels she is lucky to have them. And I'm sure they think the same.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 15/04/2012 06:53

70 I agree, and that's the problem, because children will swear blind they'll look after it, and they believe it at the time because the idea is really exciting, but then the novelty often wears off.

That is why we are only ever getting pets that I will be actively happy to look after (I.e. nothing that lives in a cage or a hutch or that needs walking). It's not fair on the pet otherwise.

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