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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be worried this is completely unprofessional?

59 replies

GracieW · 14/04/2012 17:18

Really don't know whether I am so all advice/comments very welcome.

My DC's are at a small primary school (one class per year). My eldest DC is in Year 5 as is the DC of the Year 6 teacher.

I feel very uncomfortable that this teacher could be teaching their own child in such a vital year, especially as they have made it clear that they would actually move house to get into grammar school if necessary. The teacher would be writing the external reports to the secondary schools on her own child (as well as all other Year 6 children).

However, the current Year 6 parents are delighted with this teacher.

AIBU to be concerned that this is an issue or should I trust that the teacher's professionalism will trump their desire for their DC?

OP posts:
dreamingofsun · 14/04/2012 17:45

my child was borderline and he did very well. my other son just failed and he has had the most appalling education at the local comp. mainly as there was no pere pressure to make him work and the teachers didn't bother

Roseformeplease · 14/04/2012 17:48

In my school we all, at one time or another, teach our own. Why is this a problem? Probably far worse for the children than the parents because parents are deeply embarrassing at the best of times. I am not sure about entry etc to other schools but references usually get signed by the Head even if drafted by another teacher so they would be scrutinised.

DaisySteiner · 14/04/2012 17:49

Writing a report to get your child into grammar school would be unprofessional, yes. I would guess that if that needed to be done, another teacher, such as the Head would do it.

doormat · 14/04/2012 17:53

in response to sirzy i would be interested to see something written like that but at 3 nurseries where i have worked you cannot look after a member of your family...this has been the norm for 5 + years as my grandaughter attended the nursery where i worked and i was not allowed to be in the same room as her...that was 5 yrs ago...it came up recently again in 3 rd nursery i worked at where i asked if my gd4 could attend, the manager said yes but i would be removed as head of preschool when gd4 went to preschool as i would not be allowed to look after her....weird but true

Sirzy · 14/04/2012 17:55

My sister works in the nursery my Ds and her 2 Ds go to, she has at times worked in the same room as all 3 of them. They try to avoid her working with her own children but other than that no rules. Same with plenty of others I know who work in nurseries/as a school nursery nurse

complexnumber · 14/04/2012 18:11

What are you considering doing? Reporting a teacher for teaching her own daughter?

What would you have her do in order to calm your nerves?

You are being ridiculous.

SchoolsNightmare · 14/04/2012 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinkertitonk · 14/04/2012 18:17

YANBU. YAB absurd. Get over the specialness of your situation.

Rubirosa · 14/04/2012 18:18

I don't see how this will affect your child Confused

Regarding nurseries, some will have a policy forbidding staff to work with their own children, some won't - it isn't an Ofsted policy. Many judge it on a case-by-case basis, depending on whether that child/parent would cope well in the same room or not.

roundtable · 14/04/2012 18:37

I stand corrected dreaming! I've never heard of that in my area.

Op is still being unreasonable though! Grin

cocoachannel · 14/04/2012 19:12

You have no idea how the school plans to deal with this. My Mum is a teacher in a small school and when a child has been due to start the year their parent teaches, as far as is possible, the teaching staff have been moved around.

2kidsintow · 14/04/2012 23:19

When I've spoken to fellow teachers who have taught their own children, they didn't really enjoy the experience themselves and often shared that they were consciously slightly harsher on their own children to avoid anyone viewing them as favouring their children over others.

GrahamTribe · 14/04/2012 23:32

The teacher and her reports will presumably have to be overseen and checked by her superiors won't they? Also, there's no reason from your Op to suspect that she will do anything other than most in her situation, which is to come down harder on her own DC for fear of accusations of favourtism. Added to that the confidence of the current Y6 pupils' parents is a good thing and should dispel any worries you have.

I don't really see what her decision to move into catchment of a grammar school has to do with your DC or that it will affect them either.

Heswall · 14/04/2012 23:37

Having seen this first hand and be a complete disaster when the school secretary and dinner lady's children were at school with their mums I can understand the concerns but you'd hope the teacher would be more professional. I can also imagine the head teacher, your boss writing a much more glowing report about your child to do you a favour if required which is unfair. I doubt there's much can be done about it though.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 14/04/2012 23:46

I can't imagine why you think this is any of your business?

JustHecate · 15/04/2012 09:21

What do you fear will happen? Clearly you feel your child will be disadvantaged in some way? How do you believe this will occur?

DPrince · 15/04/2012 09:33

I don't get why the OP is worried. What impact are you worried about on your own child?

sparkle12mar08 · 15/04/2012 09:43

To be honest I'd be slightly concerened as well. The teacher presumably has years and years of professional experience but it must be hard to not favour your own child, even if only subconciously. I think I'd expect the Yr 5 and 6 teachers to be swapped as someone upthread suggested, it just seems the proper way to solve the problem.

ripsishere · 15/04/2012 09:43

Biscuit really? you really think that the teacher will favour her own child?
I am married to a teacher, I've seen at first hand how much harder teachers are with their own children to avoid ridiculous suggestions such as yours.

Jinsei · 15/04/2012 09:46

YABU.

I had a teacher years ago whose child was in the same class. If anything, she was slightly more strict towards her, but for the most part, she treated her in exactly the same way as she treated the rest of us. She was a professional.

sparkle12mar08 · 15/04/2012 09:50

My father was a teacher and infact didn't apply for a promotion position he would dearly have loved because it was at the school I was in, and he would have had to teach me. Personally, I think teaching your own child is unprofessional. It's just an opinion, that's all.

namechangingagain · 15/04/2012 09:56

none of your business - so what if she is prepared to move schools, I doubt she would write the report for her own child anyway, prob head would do it.

Do you expect the school to rearrange themselves for you and your DC??

Perhaps if you are that worried you should find a new school.

ohbugrit · 15/04/2012 10:13

I went to a small school and all of the teachers had their own children to teach at times. I always thought they were really strict with their own! It wouldn't worry me in the slightest.

ll31 · 15/04/2012 10:16

cant see what exactly you are worried about - certainly can't see anything to worry about that is any of your business whatsoever

bigTillyMint · 15/04/2012 10:18

I do not think it is unprofessional at all to teach your own child. If anything, the teacher would likely to do all they could to show that they were NOT favouring their own child.

However, I would never, ever have wanted to teach my own children. My DM taught in the same school as me, and was embarassingly strict with me if I was ever split to her class.