Worried about dp going to music festival

[Krumbum]

I have very bad anxiety, I've been going to cbt and taking escitalopram but nothing seems to be helping. My bf who I live with wants to go to latitude festival so will be away for four days possibly with no phone contact. This is really worrying me, my worries are a lot about him getting hurt and me not being able to contact him. I really, really don't want him to go which I know is selfish but I just can't bear the panic and sickness. I suppose I want some advice really and wwyd? I know I'm unreasonable I just can't help it.

He needs to take care of himself so that he can take care of you, you need to let him go. If you control every aspect of his life, and if every aspect of his life is geared towards how everything affects you, he is going to be overwhelmed and feel suffocated and like he is losing his own identity, eventually. For your health, his health and the health of your relationship, you are going to have to smile and say 'of course you should go, with my blessing - have a fabulous time and don't worry about me, see you when you get back.' Do you have anyone else you could make plans with while he's away, even if it's just arranging for a friend to drop by for coffee on day 2 or 3?

Are you worried he may not be able to charge his phone? Most of the festivals I've been to have tents sponsored by the phone companies which allow you to charge your phone for free.

I agree with feather making sure you have plans will help.

Yes, fill your time in advance with lots of arrangements and treats for you. Latitude is not a dangerous festival as far as I know, so he's unlikely to get hurt.

Really sorry to hear about your anxiety problems but i'm afraid I think you'll have to accept that it is your problem and while you're seeking ways to stop it from limiting your own life, you can't let it limit what your bf can do.

Latitude is a very 'genteel' music festival and not a risky thing to do, it would be unreasonable to ask him not to go.

You will probably feel very anxious when he's gone, but that's not his responsibility, try finding lots of distraction and using all your cbt techniques.

Can you get him to buy an ancient Nokia type handset to take? Their charge lasts for days and he can agree to call you daily/answer texts ASAP for example.
You need to deal with this, it isn't fair not to let him go.

There are plenty of places to charge phones

There is a good signal but only strong enough for texts due to high demand, and they can take a few hours to get through

First Aid and other help there is brilliant

We are taking our kids (very family friendly) and will happily let teenage son go off on his own

You have no reasonable worries. I think you need let him go with god grace and fill your weekend with other things and friends who support you

You can't ask him not to go.

You need to let him go, for both your sakes.

Agree with getting him to call/text at an agreed time each day is probably a good start.