AIBU to expect DH to wash before DTD (TMI alert)

[Stuntnun]

DH was feeling 'frisky' last night but when I asked him to shower before we DTD he was really offended and called the whole thing off. AIBU to ask him to shower first? I would always want to be clean before getting intimate with him but he thinks I'm insulting him by asking him to wash.

Unless he stank then yes yabu
It's a bit of a passion killer making him shower first
Doesn't he shower every day?

I think YAB a bit U. Unless he works in a sewer or something . I would be insulted if DH asked me to wash first. Plus it's a bit of a passion killer, having to break for a shower?

YABU

I'd be naffed off too....if you've had a long (sweaty) day at work you might not indulge in the slightly more intimate acts, but if my dh asked me to shower first every time he'd be waiting a VERY long time for sex again!!

I'd expect him to have a 'gentleman's wash' if he's after a blow job. But otherwise YABU

I have asked DH once or twice and he wasn't offended.

I think he's being unreasonable for essentially throwing a tantrum.

Umm how stinky was he? Unless he was outrageously filthy I think YABU.

It depends when he last had a wash really?

No way! If he showers daily anyway, surely he can't be that dirty??

Unles he does quite a manual job.

No he works in an office so he's not stinky . We've been married for nearly 14 years but using condoms for contraception so the issue never really came up before. Now I'm pregnant so condoms are no longer required but he always did shower while TTC.

Thanks a million for the feedback ladies, now I'll have to make it up to him .

Ick

I once knew a couple where this was the sex rule. It totally creeped me out.

I couldn't be in a sexual relationship like that - all planned and clinical and critical of bodies in their natural state.

If you're pregnant, YANBU. Your sense of smell is probably on overdrive. He should be more accommodating instead of being a sulky brat.

Lol. Congratulations, BTW. How many weeks are you?

10 weeks pregnant after MMC in December but I don't think that's why I was asking him to wash. I have OCPD which is a bit like OCD so I'm a bit funny about cleanliness generally, for example I wouldn't like to share a spoon, tin of drink or toothbrush with someone else. It's difficult for other people to understand, the same way I don't understand arachnophobia because I don't have it. So I thought the best thing would be to seek the majority opinion and go with that. That's one reason Mumsnet is so great, you can ask these questions that you may not want to discuss with your close friends.

I just promised to make it up to DH tonight. He made me pinky-swear!

:o @ "a gentleman's wash" akiss

Why dont you get in the shower with him? Lots of fun to be had there...

YABU really, especially if he doesn't particularly stink. If DH told me to have a shower beforehand, he'd get short shrift!

Oh YAdefinitelyBU

A bath or shower is part of foreplay in this house, unless it's quickie.

Oh dear, it rather smacks of him being a 'client' !

Kitty: I can't take the credit for it, it's a Kunt and the Gang song. It's worth googling if you need a laugh, it's rather funny.

akiss
You know I'm going to be humming that all day now! :(

Ah... "gentlemans wash" that's going to make me chuckle all day

And OP I think you are being a little U - I would be mortified if my OH asked me to shower before I shagged him.

I agree with Tea One Sugar, with your "preferences" turn it into something that can facilitate DTD.

Have you got a bath or shower big enough for both of you?! Even if you both STAND in the bath and use the shower head - get a removable one from Wilko's or B&Q.

If he's a bit suspicious, tell him that having thought about it and btw, sorry for being so blunt last time, you kinda thought it might be a bit, um, nice to have a bath or shower together. not really for the purposes of getting clean, as it were ? maybe you could set the ball rolling.

I'm just going for a bath/shower, dear, 2 mins later - Hey, DH, can you help me and when he's in the bathroom, you can say how VERY helpful it would be if he can wash your back, and you'll do the same for him.

Result - win win, everyone's happy.

Like it meow but I think I'll go with the majority view that it's me that's being unreasonable not him. The odd back wash wouldn't go amiss though and he gives a good massage too!