AIBU to struggle with this question from Aspergers son?

[OldGreyWiffleTest]

My son is 27 and has Aspergers. He has had a couple of girlfriends, one for about 9 months. His current girlfriend is really lovely and they've been a bit 'full-on' for the last 8 weeks.

Last night he asked me "how do you know if you really like someone" and "how do you know if you are going off someone".

I tried to answer as best I could............but what would YOU say?

I always knew I really liked someone if I could picture us together in the future. As much as I ousted after some previous partners, I could not picture us together beyond the immediate 'here and now.'

Luckily with DH I can imagine us old and doddery together so I know he's 'the one.'

How to know whether you're going off someone is easy. If the idea of picking their dirty underwear up off your bedroom floor for the next 60 years fills you with horror/ dread... They're not right for you

Lusted not ousted. Grrr!

Thanks, Snowboarder. Will take that on board.

"how do you know if you really like someone" - Are you really lookimg forward to the next time you see them? Do you have plenty to talk about when you are together?

"Are you going off someone" - If they ring to cancel a date would you be disappointed?

If you can't stand watching that person eat certain things- for example you can't bear the way they eat crisps, then you are going off them.

If you would be happy to nurse them through d and v episodes then it is serious IMO.

Watching this thread with interest as my tall, dark and very handsome (ok I AM his mum but I'm not making that bit up!) son with Asperger's is starting to attract female attention (just turned 15) and he is oblivious to a lot of their "encouraging" behaviour (sitting with him at lunch, giving phone numbers, texting him lots) are perhaps ways of telling him they like him! It all goes over his head at the moment. His brother who's seen this going on at school finds it hilarious.
As his mum, I worry about relationships and how or what to teach him about them.

When they're with you, do you feel better in your tummy or worse? - that's the one I use for DS6 anyway - maybe you can omit the 'in your tummy' bit for your big lad

Ask him why he is asking the question. What has made him want to know.

It may be that he knows, but is struggling to understand or articulate it.

I would say that if he's asking how you know if you're going off someone - it's because he's going off someone (or is worried someone is going off him, maybe)

Aww, my seventeen year old Aspie has just split from his first serious manipulative cow of agirlfriend. It's not easy, and although he finished it, he was still very upset and it took him a while to get used to not texting all the time, and seeing her around. The thing is with Aspies, relationships become habit forming very quickly, so ask him if she'd be a habit that was particularly hard to break. Good luck!

Dawndonna :( hope he's over it soon.

Thank you Old Mum. I warn you now, it hasn't been easy. Lots of feeling lost, and lots of late nights and tearful 2am wake ups. It's been three weeks and we're getting there now.
Good Luck with yours!