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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to let my kids be 'vandals' in the playground?

34 replies

1950sHousewife · 12/04/2012 23:49

Went to the park today with 2 toddlers. There is a sturdy plastic slide which is surrounded by these small round smoothish pebbles, the kind that cushion a fall.

DCs had a whale of a time putting these in a bucket and clattering them down the slide, watching them bounce down. It kept them happy for over an hour.

No one else was using the park. (yes, it was that inviting in the drizzle)
There was an old woman on a bench who kept giving us the cats bum treatment for several minutes.
I'm pretty sure she didn't approve of the DCs not using the slide as a slide.
AIBU letting them chuck pebbles down? Surely slides have to put up with worse abuse? Or would you think this is bad behaviour as well.

I'm more than happy to bow to the jury's advice.

OP posts:

pictish · 12/04/2012 23:52

If there was no-one else there then it's fine isn't it?
I wouldn't give it another thought.

Icelollycraving · 12/04/2012 23:53

Did you put them back afterwards?

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 23:54

I genuinely don't understand why at this time of night you're still fretting over a 'look' you were thrown.

I'm sure you're made of sturdier stuff

If you're not, you will be by the time your kids have been dragged made it through their teens

Original poster

1950sHousewife · 12/04/2012 23:55

Thanks pictish.
Icelolly, they surround the slide. I'm aware that they might scratch it and for that reason think that's why she looked disapproving, and I am doing a massive faux pas, but surely kids stuff is meant to be used?

OP posts:

Winkly · 12/04/2012 23:55

YABU to be bothered. Maybe it wasn't even an actual catsbum mouth. DSis and I took the boys out for a barbecue in the park in the pissing rain last year (they wanted to go to the park and have bbqd sausages!) A lady came up to us looking catsbum-mouth and I thought she was going to have a go at us for having the boys out in the rain or something, but she said something along the lines of 'well done for not letting it stop you and enjoy having the park to yourselves'. Some people just have catsbum face.

And yes slides put up with much worse.

D0oinMeCleanin · 12/04/2012 23:55

Well they weren't throwing mud at people's windows and hitting children several years younger than them with sticks so around these parts you are an excellent parent

AgentZigzag · 12/04/2012 23:55

They weren't setting fire to the slide or hacksawing the see saw, just having a lovely time as toddlers.

Catsbum mouth woman might have been thinking about the trouble she's had with her DIL (see AIBU thread blah ) I wouldn't take too much notice.

PoorEv · 12/04/2012 23:55

My DD is 2.4 and she thinks it is hilarious if I throw acorns up the slide, and let them slide down. It too keeps her mused for hours!
There hasn't been anyone in the park when we have done this, but she IS very noisy (gets very excited) when I do it. Would rather listen to a toddler laughing loudly than crying though

Winkly · 12/04/2012 23:55

And even if she was disapproving - there is someone who will disapprove of EVERYTHING you do, so don't worry.

Original poster

1950sHousewife · 12/04/2012 23:57

Worra - where i live it's only 7pm

Y'know sometimes you wonder if your kids are going to be the front page of the news inadvertantly like that couple who let their kids pick all those daffs in the park.
Or like when I found out by chucking pebbles in the local pond I was told off by the park management. I seem to be surrounded my pebble-based insecurities

OP posts:

Bohica · 12/04/2012 23:58

I don't understand how a smooth pebble would cushion a fall

Probably not right just because the park was empty, if you say yes this time and then no on a Saturday....

I'm all for an easy life and as much as I want to say "climb the slide" I know it will bring the cats bum brigade out so I say no

Icelollycraving · 13/04/2012 00:08

I don't really know what these pebbles are that would cushion a fall but would clatter. I just wondered if they are there for safety & then you didnt put then back,that may have been the disapproving look.God knows!
Don't worry about it,it's done. I suggest you don't get up to any more pebble related mischief :o

Original poster

1950sHousewife · 13/04/2012 00:30

They are kind of lightweighty pebbles, a bit like pumice. I agree, I looked askance at them when I first saw them. I guess they must work, but I was surprised.
My kids always climb the slide as well! What's the objection to that? Is it because they are in the way of others or is it the grubby shoes argument. I'm a bit of a 'as long as their happy and no one is at risk of losing an eye' parent, so am aware that I do many things in life that deserve cats bums. I'd just like to know why the bum is present so I can decide whether to stop them from being feral or not.

OP posts:

BaronessBomburst · 13/04/2012 00:34

I thought it was obligatory to climb up a slide? It's a rite of passage.

Icelollycraving · 13/04/2012 00:35

I think part of the fun of slides is climbing up! As long as kids aren't coming down & they aren't caked in mud,I'd say it's fine.

Winkly · 13/04/2012 00:48

If you were that bothered by a complete stranger's facial expression which likely as not had nothing whatsoever to do with you, you should have asked her. She didn't come up ranting and raving. Time to forget about it, seriously.

Suslik · 13/04/2012 00:50

I'd ask why the old lady was there in the first place - in my neck of the woods it says that adults are only allowed on playgrounds when they accompany children (not targeted at old ladies but still)! You'll always upset someone mo matter what you do. The other day i ask a man to step aside and let my 2yo daughter climb the steps to the slide, and he seemed really annoyed by it, said he needed to stand there to keep hold of his child (who looked approx 2 and did not look like she wanted to be held up)!

The best one was when we went to see a house with a huge garden in countryside. There was a trampoline but without sides in the garden. Naturally my 4yo would not want to be anywhere else. Fine, i say. Fine, says owner of the house. Not fine says the agent!!! Apparently i need to look after my kids!!! I ignored him only to be requested downstairs after only a few mins. Why said i. Because i am required there, to look after my child naturally!

Original poster

1950sHousewife · 13/04/2012 00:59

Winkly - I would have, but I'm only just managing to learn the language here, so I don't know the phrase for 'Why the cat's bum?"

Honestly, Im not that bothered about it, I just wondered if anyone could see from a mile off why she might have objections. I would be like Suslik and let my kids do tons of things that people find obvious why they shouldn't be doing it in the first place. As said, I didn't know that kids shouldn't climb up slides...

OP posts:

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 13/04/2012 01:04

The problem with climbing up slides is that rubber soled shoes leave marks and make it less slidey. DH very popular at our park as he takes a magic polishing cloth (tea towel) to restore slidiness

They need to go back to those really solid, heavy, cast metal slides we had in the seventies. I know they are prob banned now but they were great- unsurpassed slidiness that plastic cannot match.

Original poster

1950sHousewife · 13/04/2012 01:08

I need this cloth RichMan!

Perhaps that is the cause of the catsbum - I expect the pebbles are a little scratchy and may be damaging the slide somewhat. I'm still tempted to let them do it though as they were sooooo happy.

OP posts:

Gipfeli · 13/04/2012 08:56

The park next to our house has a slide (new, shiny metal) surrounded by pebbles as you mention.

Children are always collecting them up and throwing them down the slide regardless actually of whether other children are there or not. I can hear it being down all day sometimes when I'm in the garden.

It is an accepted way to play with the equipment. As is climbing up the slide. No-one bats an eyelid. (And I live in Switzerland, where I can say with absolute certainty that if it was considered wrong, someone would definitely have said something. Definitely.)

LingDiLong · 13/04/2012 09:04

If an old woman was sat alone in a park in the drizzle then I expect her miserable expression was due to something that was going on in her own life tbh. Seriously, reading too many AIBU threads can make you feel like the whole world is out to get you and your kids. They're not though.

takingiteasy · 13/04/2012 09:06

I don't see the problem at all!

It's our adult eyes that look at a slide and say 'climb up one side, down the other'. To a child there are 1000 possibilities and ways to use that slide. Don't restrict them! Unless they are causing damage or harm...

PurpleRomanesco · 13/04/2012 09:13

Maybe she wanted a go on the slide?

Sudaname · 13/04/2012 09:30

Some old ladies do just have that real battleaxe stern look I think which quite often bears no relation to their personality and more to do with the ageing process - sometimes it is kind, sometimes not.

Reminds me there is an old lady that walks past our house regularly and she has a really stern disapproving face and when I walk my dog I often saw her walking in the opposite direction giving me 'daggers'. I even found myself making sure she could see I had my 'poo bags' ready in my hand etc etc in case that was her 'problem'.

One day I just thought 'to hell with it' and as I walked past her I made eye contact and smiled and said a cheery hello. For a horrible moment I just got a frozen stare but then her face cracked into the loveliest big smile and she always speaks now , even stops for a little chat, makes a fuss of my dog etc etc.

I feel sooooo guilty .

Next time try acknowledging the person - you will either get to know what is 'bothering' them or you may be - as I was - pleasantly surprised.

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