Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To have expected this stranger to have acted differently and WWYD?

87 replies

Birthhippy9 · 12/04/2012 21:14

Myself husband, toddler and baby were sitting in the car park of a big shop this afternoon with engine off discussing where to drive next when "Thud" a car who was aiming to park in the space to my right went into the back of us bumping our car forward, a few scratches and two gouges to the right side of the bumper under the lights some of his paint on there and he has similar to his left side of his front bumper. I was a bit shaken as I had the children with me and the bump really took me by surprise.
He drove through and I could see he was thinking about driving away then stopped and got out.
I said "could I get your phone number?" and went to see what the damage was, it was quite a shunt so I was surprised at how little was resulting.
His response was to swear at me and say "Your car's not worth f*ing anything anyway" (My car is only worth £2-3k) and I respond "I've not had this before what do we do? Do we need to call insurance companies?" He swore a bit more and said "You shouldn't get me to pay my excess for something you could use a but of T-cut on" I asked what that was and he told me I could get it from Halfords for a couple of pound. He gave me his name and mobile number after my husband got out of the car.
FWIW I spent an hour in Halfords and they said I'd need to spend £36 on materials for the scratches which would take the best part of a day to sort but I'd need to get the gouges done by a body work person and they thought it would cost £200 from a garage if I dealt with the scratches separately. I texted that to him and received no reply. Are my premiums going to go up do you think as I'd have to answer "yes" to "have you been in any accidents in the last 5 years" question?

AIBU to have expected him to act differently and WWYD in this situation?

OP posts:
CommanderShepard · 12/04/2012 22:48

Ah, sorry, just seen you're fully comp and you've had good advice here :)

To answer your other question - yes, he was a complete tosspiece. The value of your car is immaterial - he still hit it! I have to admit I'd have been tempted to call the police on him for being threatening if it was me.

rhondajean · 12/04/2012 22:49

He still needs to admit liability or have it proved by other means though Babylon.

Op just remember - you can always get a new car at some point, but he is going to have that shitty aggressive bullying personality for life.

Original poster
Birthhippy9 · 12/04/2012 22:49

Yes he definitely shunted us forward when we were sat in the car with the engine off in the parking space facing forward whilst he was aiming to park to the right of me.

OP posts:
shinyrobot · 12/04/2012 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Birthhippy9 · 12/04/2012 22:53

Thanks Shinyrobot I'll give Police non-emergency line a call and report it as a minor accident.

OP posts:
CommanderShepard · 12/04/2012 22:54

www.askmid.com/askmid.aspx - £4 to find out his insurance details, but your insurers will have full MID access anyway so may not be worth it.

Original poster
Birthhippy9 · 12/04/2012 23:58

Just got a report number from Police in case. The guy just sent a text saying "Am sorry no paying anything you can get a pen same colour as car to fix it sorry."

OP posts:
Catsdontcare · 13/04/2012 00:05

Just text back and say no problem will speak to insurance company in the morning, probably best to let them sort it.

Catsdontcare · 13/04/2012 00:06

Oh and keep his text messages

ImperialBlether · 13/04/2012 00:07

Yes, just what Cats said. Keep the text, too. He didn't say he wasn't paying because he hadn't done anything.

Actually, he's probably married to some poor woman on Relationships right now!

Original poster
Birthhippy9 · 13/04/2012 00:47

Yes I saw his partner/wife and she wouldn't give me eye contact. I stood next to her and said "I've never had to deal with this before have you?" she looked at the ground :( ImperialBlether I did think as I was driving away that I hope that she was ok tonight and that he didn't take it out on her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Birthhippy9 · 13/04/2012 00:49

I just spoke to my insurers to let them know, but not to make a claim. They said that as I wasn't making a claim through them they couldn't give me his insurer's name but told me to go to the website you recommended and pay the £4 to claim on his.

OP posts:
HypatiaTheProcrastinator · 13/04/2012 01:00

Maytree, someone else may have said this, but do you realise you can't use the children's carseats now? His insurance company will need to pay for new ones. You usually need to buy them yourself and then they pay you back.

catsareevil · 13/04/2012 06:40

If you let your insurance company deal with this for you then they will pursue his for the money.

It might be worth trying to get into a text message exchange with him, he sounds like someone who could get angrier and then say something that will weaken his case.

DCSsunhill · 13/04/2012 06:48

Yes, your insurers should be chasing up your claim on the man...that's what you are paying them for. They are there to support you. Let them do all the donkey work and let's see how far the intimidating man plays the idiot with them!

This way, you don't have to deal with the man again.

RedHelenB · 13/04/2012 08:16

I bet he's not insured so if you have the car reg I definitely would inform the police.

rhondajean · 13/04/2012 09:13

Yep posting on phone so sorry if typing rubbish but your insurance should still pursue him for you. That's what you pay them for. You can still tell them you don't want repair carried out till liability is settled. They will want var assessed to make sure it's drive able but tbh you need to do this immediately, I know cases where stationary cars being shunted resulted in twisting the car frame.

Don't let your insurance make you do the work you pay them for. Don't engage in a conversation with him either.

rhondajean · 13/04/2012 09:13

Btw police will tell you if he is or isn't insured if you ask nicely but not who with.

Sausagedog27 · 13/04/2012 09:23

I'm slightly concerned that your still not going to go through the insurance for this. Don't let him bully you! And don't let worries about next years premiums mean you don't act. Yours and your children's safety is the most important issue here, get the insurance to properly sort out the bumper and the children's car seats.

Your playing into this mans hands at the min. DONT! Is there anyone that could lend you the excess money should it come to paying this? Perhaps for the future if might be good to try save up enough money for excess to buffer you should anything like this ever happen again.

rhondajean · 13/04/2012 09:30

Sausage she doesn't need to pay the excess to go through the insurance, see my posts above, we have done this in last few months -- cos dh was furious and refused to spend a penny on someone driving into his parked car even if he would have got it back.

suburbandweller · 13/04/2012 10:23

Maytree you should ask your insurers to pursue this for you - it doesn't count as a claim under your insurance, but a claim under the other driver's insurance (because they will be the ones who have to pay out). It might increase your renewal premium by a little but you will probably be able to change insurer and find a lower quote (and always try to talk them down anyway, you'd be surprised how often it works). Even if your car isn't worth a fortune, there's no reason why you should let this dirtbag man get away with damaging it - not to mention the carseat issue others have pointed out.

Your insurer will be able to identify his insurer using his numberplate and will take it from there. All repair work and replacement carseats will be paid for by the insurer and you can ask them not to insur any costs until liability is accepted/established. Depending on your insurance policy terms you might have to pay the excess up front (which you then claim back once the claim is settled) but some insurers won't even ask for that as it will be covered by the other driver's insurer.

suburbandweller · 13/04/2012 10:24

*incur

antsypants · 13/04/2012 10:43

Hi

I work in insurance and if you are able to recoup all the costs associated with a claim then it should not affect your insurance risk rating... However....

How many years NCD do you hold? And is it protected? Some insurance companies will not apply the years NCD that you hold when you have had a claim, even a non fault claim. And almost all companies will rate the accident as fault until settlement which could mean your no claims bonus being back stepped until this is settled.

How likely is it that this man will accept liability and allow his insurer to pay out promptly? I know of people who are still waiting for claims to be settled from 3 years ago.

Regardless of whether you make a claim or not, you need to inform your insurance company of the incident, it could be used to negatively affect a potential insurance payout on a larger claim should the need arise, and it is solely your responsibility to make this incident known, although there should not be any negative outcome on your policy.

There is always an option of going through an accident company, although it seems a lot of trouble for little reward.

For what it is worth I would check on my no claims bonus and if it is protected I would claim if only to make sure he doesn't get away with being such a world class dick.

antsypants · 13/04/2012 10:46

Also, if he is not insured, there is a fund that you can claim from for your expenses, or rather your insurer can, however, in this scenario you would be considered at fault in terms of insurance.

Original poster
Birthhippy9 · 13/04/2012 10:46

My insurers have asked a lawyer under my legal cover to contact me. It turns out the other car is under Diamond. Isn't that a women's insurance company? Anyway the lawyer said he'd contact them and then call me back. My insurance company have taken police number and made a notification on my insurance stating that I'm not claiming through my insurance so hopefully I wont need to pay excess.
This week was meant to be hard earnt holiday time as a family :(

OP posts: