to feel sad that I have to drug up to visit sil

[MousyMouse]

she is fab. her dc is the same age as my dc.
unfortunately she doesn't keep her home very clean + has pets, which means dust and pet hair everywhere. we seldom visit, because my allergies mean I have to take allergy meds beforehand and will most certainly suffer an asthma attack. even when we sit outside, the trip to the loo inside is not pleasant...

Oh well my sils are both dirty and not nice either so count your blessings.

I think what really sucks is that you are so vulnerable. I know you're doing everything you can about that. :(

Is there a backstory here that I'm missing, ragged?

You have allergies, you need to take medication, they curtail your activities. I get that much. What I don't get is the implication that your SIL should fumigate/never have got pets/live in her own home according to the requirements of your health issues. That bit does not sound reasonable to me, no.

YABU to an extent. You can't expect her to change, you can be annoyed in private.

I choose not to have pets mainly because I hate the mess and because my Dad and sister wouldn't visit if I did (this is a good reason to tell the DDs who like seeing them).
My sister, is allergic to dust and I am allergic to dusting so she accepts she has to hit the piriton.
I am also certain she has a massive moan to Mum when she gets home

I can't do anything about the oil seed rape except advise my sister not to visit for the next few weeks. I can't pick up the house and put it in her nice sheep farming area. I wish I could, I'm living on hayfever pills too!

I don't think OP wants her SIL to change anything except maybe more cleaning. OP just needed to vent, I reckon.

Sorry you're eight you didn't complain about the toilet.

I'm asthmatic but luckily don't react to pet hair. I have a dog and a fantastic miele cat and dog Hoover and i Hoover a couple of times a day. I assume you'd still have a reaction in my house though becAuse the dog would be there?

I'm allergic to cats and don't visit my sister in her house for the same reasons. Her house is a midden and covered in cat hair. She doesn't seem to notice so I meet her elsewhere as I am too chicken to mention it.

Other people's houses with cats are ok as long as I don't touch the cats, or get hair on my hands/ face.

If you only go to her house once a year I don't see what the problem is. My DH has hayfever and has to drug up every day over the summer.

NB I have quite bad hayfever, have to drug up most of the year (and nose STILL drips!), and I still reckon that it's not comparable to the risk of an asthma attack, as these can be serious enough to land you in hospital.