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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying kids to do homework

42 replies

CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 18:38

Just googled this and found

gideonlearning.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/should-we-pay-kids-to-do-their-homework/

Have been giving great thought to DS (13) and complete lack of motivation to do homework. He seems highly motivated by money though.

Has anyone tried it? Would it work? The theory on the above link seems interesting...should I consider it?

OP posts:
lisaro · 11/04/2012 18:39

No, that doesn't help with self discipline. In life there will be lots of things they'll have to do without being paid.

JaneFonda · 11/04/2012 18:40

Ridiculous.

Of course you shouldn't pay your DS to do his homework.

winnybella · 11/04/2012 18:41

No, it's a ridiculous idea. What lisaro said.

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2012 18:41

Hahahahahahahahaha!!

No way!

If kids aren't doing their homework, Schools and parents need to get tougher on them.

Unless we really want to raise a generation of over entitled kids.

GrimmaTheNome · 11/04/2012 18:42

If he's motivated by money, doesn't he realise that nowadays if you want to get a well-paid job you need to work at school and get the best grades possible?

Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 18:42

What do you think about the article though?

OP posts:
Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 18:43

Motivation can be quite transient though? What motivated us to do homework when we were at school?

OP posts:
Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 18:44

Grimma - yes, but I think with teenagers it's the problem of instant gratification.

OP posts:
winnybella · 11/04/2012 18:47

What motivated me:

Wanting to get good grades (our homework was marked)
Not wanting to fall behind
My mother's fury if she found out at parents' evening that I haven't been doing it

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2012 18:47

Motivation can be quite transient though? What motivated us to do homework when we were at school?

Having to sit for an hour in detention after school to do it.

My parents totally backing the school and giving me a severe bollocking.

Ephiny · 11/04/2012 18:54

I wouldn't pay kids to do their homework. They're not doing it for you! Though I wouldn't give money for getting good grades either.

Trying to think back and remember what motivated me...sometimes it was actually interesting, and I liked getting good marks and praise, and showing what I could do. Also not doing it would result in detention and (much worse) a note being sent home to my parents!

bobbledunk · 11/04/2012 18:55

Pay him for every A grade he gets instead. Then he will be prepared to work as hard as it takes to get his reward. I do think it's unfair to expect kids to be motivated by potential payoffs in the distant future, most can't see beyond their own nose, if you want your son to do as well as his longsighted peers, bribery is an effective policy.

Whatever works best is best.

Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 18:56

I was motivated by a desire to please my parents. DS does a lot to "please" me, but has a really strong view that schoolwork is for school, not home. I've been through all the arguments, restrictions, removal of priveleges etc. He won't budge. So I keep backing up the school, enforcing groundings, no PS3 and all the usual. All to no avail!

So I'm looking for a new approach, which is not to say that paying him is right (on the face of it), but hmmm...the article made me think.

OP posts:
WillowFae · 11/04/2012 18:56

What Worra said. I was terrified of getting punished for not doing it.

Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 18:57

Bobble, that's a good point. They do find it hard to look into the future it seems.

OP posts:
LillianGish · 11/04/2012 18:59

I haven't paid for homework exactly, but I did motivate dd by offering cash rewards for good grades. I think whether it works or not depends on the child. I felt sure dd had the ability to get top marks but wasn't making that much effort so last year I went through a phase of offering her £1 every time she got top marks. It worked really well for us. She was initially motivated by the money but what she learned was that with effort she could get really good marks (unlike ds who finds everything effortlessly easy at the moment). I didn't have to keep it up for long because she quickly made the connection between effort and results, her teacher noticed the massive improvement and really praised her and now it is a matter of pride for her to try and keep up the good work without any financial incentive.

QuickLookBusy · 11/04/2012 19:04

We didn't pay our DDs to do homework.

We did however do a "bonus scheme" for GCSE, AS and A level grades.

We paid them a set amount for an A*, A or B. nothing for a C grade.

It worked very well. Many of their friends also got money/holidays etc for good grades.

Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 19:04

Lisaro - "No, that doesn't help with self discipline. In life there will be lots of things they'll have to do without being paid."

Yes, that's a good point. With my DS it seems more of a "principle" though. He has good self-discipline in other areas

OP posts:
Ephiny · 11/04/2012 19:05

If it's such an important matter of principle to him though will he relent just because you offer him money? But I guess we all have our price!

Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 19:07

Ephiny - hadn't thought of that! Grin

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 11/04/2012 19:22

People generally do better in life if they can get beyond instant gratification. 13 year olds can (I've got one).

As to that article - well maybe paying little kids who can't figure out input/output relationship could work (it said paying second graders was particularly effective). But I'd have thought most secondary school age kids would understand the need to do their set work.

DD seems to be doing her homework without any input from us but DH has offered her an incentive to get extra good grades - some complicated deal they've worked out about trying to beat expected grades in subjects where that's possible and not get less than expected in anything - reward is to be paid in skiing sessions at the Chill Factor in the summer hols.

GrimmaTheNome · 11/04/2012 19:22

What is his 'principle' exactly?

winnybella · 11/04/2012 19:44

'Principle' Ha ha ha. He's just being lazy, let's be honest here. That's fine, lots of teenagers are, but still you should be able to find a way to make him do it. I don't believe that removal of all priviledges (so he has nothing to entertain him at all) and all treats (trips to the cinema, skiing, whatever it is) at the same time wouldn't work. Also more surveillance, so check what homework he's got each day and if he starts to hide it, get in touch with his teachers to work out how you can be aware of what's set every day.

Original poster
CrystalMaize · 11/04/2012 20:08

Winnybella, I have consistently removed all privileges. The surveillance I have in place involves an email from each subject teacher he has, detailing the homework. I then sit him down to do the homework, he argues that he does not need to do it. I argue he does, he argues I don't...

Grimma, the "principle" is that schoolwork should be done at school, not at home. Work should be done at work, you should not bring work home.

OP posts:
winnybella · 11/04/2012 20:14

Well, tell him that the 'work should be done at workplace' idea doesn't necessarily work in real life Grin

Really, all privileges? At the same time? Computer, tv, books, mags, so that he has to stay in his bare room and stare at the ceiling? And obv. pocket money.