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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think "solo bathtime" it not really a big deal?

86 replies

FuckedOfftotheFarSideofFuck · 11/04/2012 00:32

there are a few mum friends of mine who occasionally post fearful status updates/tweets about having to do bathtime for their 2 (or more) kids all on their own without help of their DH/DP/OH.

Surely this is not a big deal?! My DH is often not home at the DCs bathtime and I know I am not alone in this for those with and without partners/husbands/whatever.

Obviously an extra pair of hands is useful but it's not exactly a difficult thing without the extra pair...

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 11/04/2012 04:33

I never knew any other kind of bathtime. Mind you I didn't bathe them very often, maybe twice a week with topping and tailing in between, but when I did I did it on my own. Three in, then out one at a time. Bathtime was in the afternoon.

I got them into the shower as soon as they were about four or five.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 11/04/2012 05:07

I bath mine on my own most days, they are 7,5,3.1 and 8 weeks.
I like to have dhs help, having another pair of hands makes it easier but i think i have a pretty nifty routine sorted without him.
I start with getting the 3 youngest done while the older two play in their room. I get everything i need for the 8 week old into the bathroom, including the car seat. I then put all three younger ones into the bath. Wash the 8 week old the get her out ont a towel on the floor where i dry her dress her then breastfeed her while the 3 and 1 year old play in the bath then put her in the car seat shes almost always asleep by this point. I then get both the 3 year abd 1 year old out and move into the bedroom to get the dressed and put to bed.
Then o go back t do the 5 and 7 year old, sometimes they choose to bath together other times alone but either eay its just run bath keep a eye ahd then get them tucked up in bed (they normally read or play ds for a while before sleep).
I like bathtime i feel organized which is a sharp contrast to the rest of the day!

molly3478 · 11/04/2012 06:54

We do things like dh washes/showers her and i am in living room and dry them off/dress her or vice versa. makes it easier of course i could 'cope' but why would i make life more difficult for myself? Hmm

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow · 11/04/2012 06:58

I prefer doing bathtime on my own.

Born2BRiiiled · 11/04/2012 07:00

Do they mean just bathtime, or do they mean the whole evening - dinner, homework, bath, tired frazzled kids? I prefer it when there are two of us for the whole of this time (not often), but not bathtime.

nooka · 11/04/2012 07:06

My children went through phases of being terrors about bath time, with much screaming and tantrums both in and out of the bath, or fighting each other so you'd have to grab slippery bodies and heave one of them out so those times weren't easy. Mostly they were fine. If someone told me they were struggling I'd offer sympathy and (I hope) helpful advice. I'm not sure why all the 'if you were a lone parent' smuggery. If you know you are going to be on your own you approach things in a very different way than if you expect to work as a partnership. Perhaps your 'friends' don't really enjoy full on parenting and are desperate for the other parent to take over?

TitsalinaBumSquash · 11/04/2012 07:07

I know someone who has just had their second DC they both work at home because they can't change nappies without the others "support" it's mind boggling it really is its been like it since DC1 though.

meditrina · 11/04/2012 07:09

I don't understand why people post on FB or tweet. But I do think that people have their own straws which break the camel's back. If this is that time (end of day, everyone a bit too tired) and they want help, why shouldn't they have a grumble?

I bet they're doing it perfectly competently, irrespective of whether they're fed up by that time of day.

StealthPolarBear · 11/04/2012 07:12

SOme people find stuff that you don't hard. I can completely see if your routine is that both of you do bathtime, then you'd be a bit worried if all of a sudden you had to do it on your own. I'm sure they did cope.

MamaChoo · 11/04/2012 07:17

I bath a 5 month old and 3 year old together, totally fine as long as a. I remember to bring everything I need into the bathroom and b. The baby doesn't spend her whole time trying to drink the bathwater. After staying at someone else's house I now know the one thing that would make bathtime easier is not another pair of hands but a much bigger bathroom.

xmyboys · 11/04/2012 07:17

I never have any help at bathtime. Never did or do! And mine were very close I'm age.
They need to just get on with it.

StealthPolarBear · 11/04/2012 07:18

x post meditrina
There seems to be a lot of "hypothetical other mum" bashing going on at the moment, and although I'm sure I do my fair share of it in general, it's annoying me at the moment

PerryCombover · 11/04/2012 07:23

It depends.
My three were born in 3 years I just didn't bath them together. Eldest showers with me a fair bit now
I'm not a huge fan of bathing anyway...don't get the relaxation mystique

StealthPolarBear · 11/04/2012 07:23

why do they need to get on with it? I'm fairly sure DH and I usually did bathtime together until the youngest was sitting confidently. Yes, one of us could have managed, yes, it wouldn't have harmed the baby to lie and scream for 10 mins, but if you can avoid it then it seems silly not to.

StealthPolarBear · 11/04/2012 07:24

Perry my eldest has started showering too, it's no help at the moment as the little one still needs a bath but I can't wait until she comes in the shower too and baths can be relegated to the occasional event that they should be :o

Ilovedaintynuts · 11/04/2012 07:32

What is it they find difficult, do you think?
It's never occurred to me that it might be a challenge for someone.
We take it in turns here.

PerryCombover · 11/04/2012 07:32

Stealth, then there will be four of us lined up in the shower
Gonna need a bigger shower

It's the towels that piss me orf, I'd rather blow dry them

PassTheBaileys · 11/04/2012 07:33

Yanbu - I manage to bath my 4 3 and 2 year old on my own and have since 2 year old was born.

StealthPolarBear · 11/04/2012 07:35

Well gripping a child who is unable to sit up while managing a toddler can be fairly challenging. Getting small child out, wrapping in towel and leaving them to wriggle out and scream because they're cold is unpleasant.
I can go on...

MumGoneCrazy · 11/04/2012 07:38

My 2 year old is a screamer she hates water and starts screaming as soon as you take her in the bathroom as she knows what's coming but I have a very small bathroom and there's no way DP and I could fit in there to both bath the 3 youngest (6, 5 and 2) so one of us baths them then sends the first clean one through to the living room (downstairs bathroom) to be dried and dressed by other parent or if alone for whatever reason clean kid is sent to living room to dry themselves until I get there to check they have done it properly then dress them

molly3478 · 11/04/2012 07:39

I just think most things are easier with dhs help. I think its harder to understand if you havent got DH that is around or does much to help out its not that you cant do it but then all of life is a much more leisurely experience imo.

MamaChocoholic · 11/04/2012 07:42

it does depend on age of children. solo bathtime with two 1 year olds is a challenge. they climb, they push each other over, head hitting tiled floor is not a good sound. that said, all bathtimes are done solo. doesn't mean I'm not a nervous wreck some days. at least the 4 year old is now a help. it was harder with a 2 year old and 2 small babies, one with horrific reflux who could not be put down.

StealthPolarBear · 11/04/2012 07:43

oh yes the blood curdling screaming and thrashing about when you're washing their hair :o

Dillydollydaydream · 11/04/2012 07:48

I usually do my 3's bath times while DH puts laundry away or loads the dishwasher. It's the getting them out and catching slippery, wet children to get ready in pjs that's the tricky bit! Am I the only one with dc who get hyper after their bath?! Hmm

meditrina · 11/04/2012 07:50

I've seen whole body hot-air dryers at swimming pools, perry perhaps you could see if you can get one installed at home?

stealth perhaps the problem is the medium, not the message? There's no tone of voice when it's words on a screen.