Does DH have weird ideas about cooking?

[sneezecake]

I Love dh I really do but when he says he's going to 'suprise' me by making tea I have cold sweats, but rather than hurt his feelings or take over I just let him get on with it.
Tonights concuction: (FOR ME) fried egg and beans on hot cross bun!
previously I've had gamon with pasta and rice with bolognase sauce and peas.
I'm suffering with the flu at the moment so I suppose if it wasn't for him I would be eating at all.

First meal DH cooked for me:
1 tin spinach
1 tin 'meat'
1 tin potatoes
1 packet of pasta
Put spinach, meat, potatoes in a pan and heat until stuck to bottom of pan.
Cook pasta until soggy.
Empty pasta and 'mixture' onto plates.

:( :( :( :( :(

My husband is similarly experimental. He puts beetroot with most things. He uses rice when the conventional cook would use pasta, and vice versa. He always adds an extra ingredient to any dish. I put it down to his being an Aquarian. Not that I believe in that nonsense.

Argh my ex used to not make weird things but I made the mistake of telling him I liked a sausage casserole thing he created he then decided since I liked it, he would make it everyday that week.

Luckily DP is very well trained, he knows he can't cook so asks me to teach him, we do it together or if I'm ill, stressed he will order takeaway or nip to Tesco for easy to cook food.
This morning was one of those times, he knows I'm suffering with morning sickness so got up early to bring me a warm croissant and a decaf coffee.

Not dp I know, but we went round to Pil for dinner. We sit down to eat a spaghetti bolognese , which was served with a side dish of tortilla chips that her and fil proceeded to dip into and scoop up the bolognese with!

My DH is a good cook but once he made me a salad that he thought he'd make more interesting by adding pickles, LOADS of pickles. It was infact a plate of pickles with salad dressing on! I couldn't even eat it!

DP once cooked for me - a chilli. He put everything in the pot, raw, mixed it up and heated it till it was hot. On holiday he now barbecues under supervision.

My partner has a couple of things he can make but not very much (and they're all deep fried). Luckily he's excellent at cleaning up and washing dishes which I'm shit at so it works out well.

Oh, for heaven's sake! You are talking about adult men here. Adults.

I would not want to be with a man who could not look after himself and his family properly - or who wasn't at least prepared to learn. If they can follow a car manual to change the oil in a car, they can cook a bloody dinner. And tidy up afterwards.

StbXh was like that exactly.

Loved cooking for me but dear god it was bizarre. Never massively bizarre (not beans on Easter buns bizarre) but just no idea of what went with what and certain elements in odd quantities.

So meat product, 3 completely unrelated carb products, a couple of different veg,and half a tin of beans. And gravy, always bloody gravy, with lumps, on everything. And a dollop of mayo to dip

Best example - slice of pie, mash, rice, asparagus, beatroot, beans, a dollop of mayo and lumpy gravy.

All things we like therefore delicious all on the same plate and all.served up in the middle of the plate like some strange food soup. Except the mayo, that was on the side, he wasn't a complete animal.

A pack of diced beef each, double handful of unwashed spinach , fry until unrecognisable, serve with 5 potato wedges each, done ^in the microwave.

It was a good workout for my jaw, and I'm sure the added grit served some purpose.

I forgot the night of celebratory onion gravy.

He cut a whole raw onion into what seemed like 4 pieces and put it in the gravy. Ta-da - onion gravy.

He thought it was delicious

Words fail me.

Mydogshitsshoes.

I'm crying with laughter.

Dh makes pretty decent creative meals, but then will insist on adding baked beans and VINEGAR at the last moment

e.g. to chicken curry last night

Sounds adorable and just put what you don't fancy to the side of the plate, politely?

I would not find being served baked beans on a hot cross bun adorable or funny in the slightest. I would also be extremely displeased at the waste of food.

OP, I wouldn't find it funny in the slightest and if my Dh pulled that kind of bullshit I would be very unimpressed. Not being able to cook is one thing but to put baked beans and a fried egg on a hot cross bun is absolutely ridiculous

Dh is not too bad but I remember when we started going out and he wanted to make me dinner, it was pasta, potatoes, onion rings, battered mushrooms and a huge chicken Kiev, another meal which actually tasted nice was chicken stuffed with Stilton and wrapped in bacon but I don't think he cooked it right and I was up puking all night :S

I agree with seeker this is bloody ridiculous. How did these men feed themselves before they met you?
An adult who can't follow a simple recipe or cooking instructions is taking the piss. It isn't funny in my opinion. And I'm not an excellent cook myself so my expectations are not massively high in this respect. We all have our kitchen disasters from time to time but not being able to cook at all is a different matter.

My DH is a reasonable cook. He has to be, he lives on his own mostly in a foreign country.
some of his most memorable meals centre around eggs. He loves them, I don't eat them. He thinks that frying an egg and topping a meal with it (anything from spaghetti bolognaise to salad) brings a different taste dimension to it.
We disagree.

rip that's the exact problem isn't it, they genuinely love it!

Xh happily hoovered up every delicious morsel of his creations. He likes onions, he likes gravy, win-win all round!

DP didn't even know how to make an instant coffee before I met him. That changed very quickly.

He's more crap at the cooking part though, like peeling potatoes etc. Combinations aren't too much of a problem. I love cooking so I usually do but sometimes I let him pick with a bit of guidance and he generally goes for meat and two veg with cheese (like blue cheese mashed potato), or some kind of pasta. Although, I sort of taught him what went well together. He does suggest things sometimes like egg-and-cheese bread so I guess he doesn't think weirdly about food. Haha. His isn't choices so much just that he's lazy and his parents don't cook from scratch really so his choice for himself is a pizza that you just stick in the oven.

My dad used to cook like that. We loved it when he was left in charge of feeding us. Especially if he'd been to Brixton or Notting Hill market to stock up on Caribbean goodies.

how I miss my dad and his plantain and sardine fry up.

Maybe he had never eaten a hot cross bun before and didn't know they were sweet?

What so he couldn't read the packaging to see what was in it? And seriously, just looking at a hot cross bun you could guess that it is not a savoury product.