AIBU to avoid phonecalls from my nan...

[mythical]

She lives in another country (my home country) and i know she misses me and i miss her too but i hate speaking to her over the phone!! we can never have a normal conversation along the lines of "how are you doing - fine, great been doing this and that - how are you, how's your health" etc -
she ALWAYS goes on about why i left and gets all upset about it and asks me if i am happy in every single phonecall.. and am i sure i am happy?? (like sure sure??)

Then she asks about the baby (due in 3 weeks) which is lovely of her to ask but then she follows with "but you are so young to have a baby.." (i'm nearly 23, been married for three years, my mum had both hers by this age and so did my nan!)

And then she starts about my husband and how i need to take care of him because "you know decent men are hard to find and you need to cook and clean for him and keep him well and look nice for him every day or he'll leave you. and you musn't be so stubborn like you usually are" I just find myself avoiding her calls recently and i really do feel bad about it but it drives me mad!

She's not short of updates as she sees my mum several times a week and she rings her daily (i speak to mum over skype or FB) My mum shows her any photos i send her of what we've been doing and gets her on skype over webcam so she can see us too. She never says these things when my mum is there though.

I don't want to be mean by avoiding the calls but they are just so awkward for me... I sometimes use the excuse of not answering because she always rings on the landline and i tell her we don't really use the landline, we get sales calls etc (i know it's her because she doesn't understand answering machines so i always get answerphone messages - "HELLO! HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME HELLO?? ah this is not working..") but now she's started ringing my mobile too...

argh...

Yabu ... But I'd do it to in your shoes! Maybe limit it, pick up once a fortnight or something! Get prepared, have a glass of wine to drink while he chats?

I'm scared lol! what if i pick up and she asks why i haven't been answering :o

I don't think YABU.

For various reasons I find talking to my Gran very hard, and I don't visit her as much as I should because of this. She can have me in tears within minutes, not because she isn't lovely, but she insist on talking about things that I just don't want to talk about, and can't talk about without getting upset. She just doesn't understand, and to be fair, at 85, she shouldn't have to.

You just have to strike a balance. Put up with it sometimes, but not so often that it becomes horrible for you.

YANBU but it's a tricky one to deal with. Maybe you could try refusing to answer the questions she's asked several times before (I have had to do this a few times, just be polite and firm) and insist on talking about something completely different, see if you can shift the focus of attention on to her, get her to tell you stories about her childhood or something.

YANBU, but you should try to find a way to deal with it, it does sound like you're very fond of her. Can you confront her about it? My gran could be v difficult, and was often downright rude on the phone, so I tackled her about it and she tried her best to be nicer, and when she wasnt I found it easier to let it go as I knew she was making an effort most of the time . I still hung up her once tho!
I just found it easier to be completely honest with her when she was being mean, as otherwise I found, like you, I was dreading talking to her. We had a few awkward conversations at first, but once she even rang me to apologise for being rude! That made me feel :( tho.
I used to call her 3/4 times a week, as her other GC were either overseas or too hectic to call her regularly, and she was lonely. I realised that sometimes I was the only person she spoke to all day, and am very glad now I made the effort.