To currently feel like killing my mum.

[heartstillthumping]

Have name-changed for this so please bear with me for ranting. Currently pregnant and been having a few problems with a suspected prolapse. Have been examined three times with speculum to check problems are in fact with prolapse and not anything to do with cervix.

My mum just said the immortal words, "It's a wonder you haven't had a miscarriage from all those exams!"

I am so upset - took me by surprise how angry and tearful I became almost instantly. Cursed and put phone down on her (we are normally really close). I have been getting checked to make sure all is well with baby and she says that!!! It upset me so much and that isn't like me. I've been examined by trained OBGYN doctors ffs!!! They're not just women I met on the street and dragged in to look at my bits!!!

I actually feel better for writing this so thank you if you've read it.

I can understand that you're worried, stressed, sore and hormonal.

But seriously, I don't think your Mum meant anything by it as such.

She sounds worried for you and her Grandchild

You have every sympathy. Sometimes people/parents can say or do the wrong thing. My dad, when he found out I had pre-eclampsia, rang every day when I was resting (he knew when he wasn't supposed to ring, but ignored my request) and became abusive when I asked him if I could call him back later. Consequently my blood pressure went sky high.

I wouldn't get too upset with your mum. She sounds as though she's worried about you. It's a really stressful time for you and I hope everything goes well.

Thanks Worra she probably didn't. Actually writing it down helped me calm down. It was like a 0 - 60 reaction. I really haven't been that hormonal but in the 5 seconds after she said it I felt like I'd been possessed by an evil spirit! We are normally great friends.

Thanks ladies. And ... breathing!

Nora hope everything worked out for you - Pre-eclampsia sounds really scary.

My mum said the same thing when I was pg with dd2 and had a suspected miscarriage several times It is a slightly inappropriate thing to say to an already stressed out pg woman but it was said out of concern. Calm down and call ur mum back, if ur normally close she wouldn't have been being nasty. Hope everything goes ok

Yes, absolutely fine now :) Was nearly 3 yrs ago, and have healthy, lively DS. The scary bit for me was that I didn't even know there was anything wrong with me - no symptoms at all. It was picked up by the midwife on a routine check-up, and confirmed by the hospital same day.

She just sounds worried. I really don't understand why you are angry TBH.

I can really understand why your Mum's comment upset you.

It is very frightening to imagine you might miscarry and not an idea that should be lightly bandied about by anyone conversing with a pregnant woman!

And of course you are currently being checked over by the medical team to hopefully either rule out or pre-empt any cervical issues... So the possibility of your losing the baby will probably be worrying you anyway [even if it is a very low risk] and the last thing you need is someone insinuating that you may miscarry due to the procedures you are having in the hope of diagnosis or treatment!

That said, it sounds as if you have a very good relationship with your Mum and I bet she will be mortified and saddened to hear she has caused you such distress. Can you talk to her about it, letting her know that what she said was insensitive and also what she needs to do to make it up to you?
It sounds as if you could use some support at the moment so don't burn your bridges with your Mum, she could be better utilised by holding your hand through this stressful time.

Finally, I wish you all the best and hope everything turns out okay!

That's it exactly Rapapapum - feel like I'm doing everything I can for the baby and then felt like I was making things worse trying to make things better, if that makes sense.

Thanks so much everyone. Signing off now, feeling calmer, will probably ring and clear the air.

It was an insensitive thing to say

but I think she was commenting on the nature of the exams and saying she was concerned.