To think ex should take better care of DS

[JustOneMoreQuestion]

DS (4) has eczema. It flares up every now and then, we haven't discovered yet what it is that sets it off, we've tried removing things from his diet and changing wash powder etc, but haven't been able to pinpoint a trigger.
Usually easily managed with daily oils, special shower gel and creams, with a 'magic' steroid cream for when it gets bad.

Ex has DS overnight two nights a week. I have been providing ex with the creams DS gets on prescription, as, despite having the doctor's contact details given to me on at least three occasions, ex has never bothered his arse to obtain the stuff he needs to care for DS adequately.

The last time ex took him away to stay with his family for 4 days (an hour away), DS came back with really sore looking blisters on his skin, his eczema had flared up worse than I had EVER seen on anyone, it was horrendous. I asked what ex had put on it, and he showed me a Lipsyl. A FUCKING perfumed chapstick! For FOUR days.
I was speechless, and ex left hurriedly so I didn't really have my say at the time (didn't want to vent my spleen in front of DS anyway, so probably good that I was speechless for a change!) though I did text him and tell him he needed to ensure DS has everything he needs whilst in his Dad's care.
Ex contacted me to say he had been online to order all DS's prescriptions. He has taken DS to stay with his family again, and has just text me telling me how bad his skin is. Turns out ex hasn't taken DS's creams again.

WIBU to refuse to let DS go to stay with ex's family again if he brings him home with bad skin this time? I have asked him to bring DS home if his skin is bad and he has no treatment there.
Anytime I say anything about his care of DS, he just says I'm "playing the 'shit dad' card again, looking for sympathy from the next man I want to jump into bed with, playing the victim. Yawn"

Your ex is a prick. I am amazed you are as calm as you are.

As a 16 year old childminder I made sure that my young charge's eczema was properly treated. I remember DSis's skin cracked and bleeding and couldn't BEAR to think of being responsible for that. Does he actually give a shit?

Feel free to 'play the shit dad card'. He IS a shit dad.

I have really bad eczema that flares up for no apparent reason, I hadn't had a flare up since childhood until I started working in a pub, now nothing seems to clear it up.

Your poor boy. Having suffered badly with it myself, I wouldn't let my child go with anyone who wouldn't take care of it. If a grown adult can wake up crying with red raw bleeding hands then it must be a million times worse for a child who can't self medicate.

You may never get an answer to what the triggers are. I certainly never have. You might want to give medicines a go for when it is not too bad, it's pretty effective as a barrier cream and you can get it on prescription.

Thanks again for responses, I'm glad it's not just me. And I am FUCKING FURIOUS. Thanks for advice on the medications, I'll try and get some of those, see what works.
I'll have to wait to see what DS comes back like this time, but as I've been on his case he SHOULD be doing something about it. He SHOULD be doing something about it anyway, of course, out of love for DS.
The aunt and gran chain smoke. I have again made it a condition of our access agreement that DS must never be taken to a room or car where cigarette smoking is taking place, but a few months ago, DS said quite miserably "they smoke all the time, near the door but I can still smell it and it maes me cough" (DS is very judgey about cigarette smoking)

As for getting the creams and packing them for ex, I would normally, though this time, as ex had emailed me weeks ago to say he had ordered creams on prescription, I didn't think I'd have to.
However, ex has been getting wankered at his sister's since Thursday night, and rang yesterday afternoon saying that he wanted to take DS for a few days. I told ex I had to go out before shops shut (just got back off hol) so ex went to my house, older DCs let him in, he collected a bag of clothes (but not cream) and met me at the supermarket to collect DS, so I had no part in packing for his trip.

Nail cutting is obviously something that you need a uterus to be able to perform - and cream application too, it seems!

Today I mentioned the state of DS's skin afer his last trip away, ex said "he had chapstick on his hand, ONCE"
That's what he does, makes out that I rake over the past constantly, says "GOD, are you STILL on about THAT!??? FFS! Its was days/weeks/months ago!!!!! Get OVER it!!!!!"

The prize fucking prick