to say something to the mum......

[lostlilly]

my dd moved schools this year and thankfully after a tough couple of months has now got some lovely friends and has settled in. She goes to a dance school every sat and has done for 2 years, she has suddenly stopped wanting to go the last few weeks and says she wanted to give up, she is very good and is in a big show in July it has cost a fortune in costumes and lessons and I was puzzled at her sudden disinterest. On talking to her eventually she told me a girl at dance is being horrible and really picking on her, I know the girl she was at my dd's old school. She has stopped her other friend 'who was quite a close friend' from the old school sitting with her and has been saying some really spiteful things apparently. DD said she likes dance but she just doesn't want to go anymore because she is too horrible and the last feww weeks she has just been on her own the whole time.She told me some of the things she has been saying and I am really cross. I know her mum and she is lovely and we have always chatted well. I want to tell her whats going on???

Yes, I would if I was you. But maybe trying to also arrange a time where the two children can talk together. Hwo knows? they can become friends. Often jalousie at that age is what motivates lots of children. The other girl might just feel that she cannot be friends with your daughter any more as they don't go to the same school. Somebody has to explain to her. Hope this helps. Good luck

Well, if you know the mum and she is really lovely then that is a good start. I supposed my other idea was that you could talk to the dance teacher(s) so that they can keep an eye on the situation. You obviously can't let it go on but I am no expert in dealing with these tricky little upsets, I recently had to talk to a friend about her DDs behaviour and it went very badly and she is still not speaking to me! That was way back in November! I bet others will have much better advice.

Have the dance teachers noticed any thing? Surely it would not be tolerated in class, can they help stop it, but also I would ask the girls mum if she is ever mentioned a problem with your dd as you think they might have an issue that needs sorting out. Don't let dd e pushed out of something she enjoys though!

X post with cherries!

have spoken to dance teacher, its a big class and she did say that some of the girls can be a bit silly but its just girls and the age but that she will try and pair dd up with any new girls so that she isnt on her own.
Yes I am worried that by saying something to the mum, she will get funny with me and it might make it worse.... but I am not going to let my dd give her hobby up just because of this one girl

You don't say how old your DD is but I'm guessing somewhere between 7 and 9 as that is IME the age where once delightful little girls turn into really mean children.

I think you were right to speak to the dance teacher and IIWY I would wait and see what the outcome of that is first before talking to the other mum. Not saying there is anything wrong with talking to the other mum at all, just know how protective some mums can be and I have experienced it backfiring rather nastily.

hmmmm

dd is 8...

Guessed right then.

Sorry don't mean to put you off re talking to the other Mum - I've had a similar issue blow up in my face, and you mentioned that you liked her, whereas in my case the other Mum (although nice) was not someone that I would class as a friend as such, so hasn't become too much of an issue. She got a bit tigress and refused to believe that her DD could be a mean girl.

I would be mortified if someone told me that their daughter was stopping dance classes because of my daughter. I'd want to know so that I could tackle the problem. The girl is young enough to do something about it. I would hate to think my child was a bully.

Tell the mum and see what she can do.

mum is not a 'friend' but just a fellow mum who I have had pleasant conversations with over the lasty few years that our dd have been at school/dance together. But is very friendly and polite and quiet....I think I am going to see what happens this weekend as dd has had 2 weeks off, if its still as bad then I am going to to say something such as......."This is a bit awkward and please don't take it personally but I wondered if you could have a chat with , because I have heard from both my daughter and another child that she is being quite unkind to her and this is why I havent been able to get her to come to dancing the last couple of weeks" ???