AIBU ?

[Scots]

Ok lassies - this is me problem

A close friend of mine looks after my DD (8) after school a couple of days a week which is really helpful to me as I am working and both our kids get on really good so they have a blast making cakes and cookies

So now it's half term and I am not working this week - its just occurred to me that should I invite her Dd to our house for a play - but AIBU to really not want to do this?

It only just occurred to you?!!

Er yes you definitely should selfish mare

yabu. I am sure she doesn't always want your dd. Repay the favour or you might find her suddenly busy after school.

Do you pay her? If not then you are soooooooooooo BU!

I am having a 'play date' right now and I am not enjoying it in the slightest but that's not what it's about. We look after each others dc in the holidays and pick them up from school to help each other out and so that our dc can play and enjoy themselves.

No - its not a paid arrangement just a fun date thing.

Fun date thing?!! Twice a week? Must be saving you a fortune on childcare costs

Maybe not for the parent!

Why aren't you keen to repay the favour?

Ae you really the mum of the 8yo or are you her close friend?

Hmmmm I spose cos I work I feel I don't see enuf of my DD so keen to spend this precious time with her.

I hadn't really given it the two way thinking thing - can see perhaps I am BU ...... But still, really?

Bet she LOVES looking after yours twice a week though and just does it for FUN. So no need to worry.

What would you do if she couldn't be arsed?

Wow yabu and incredibly rude/selfish.

Did u actually think people were going to say yanbu?

If It was me I would be inviting the dd over at LEAST twice a week each week of the holidays and making it an all day thing.

Think of all the hours she's looked after your dd

I really hope u do the right thing

Yes really. There is no such thing as free childcare.

Have you got a Plan B for the day when your friend decides she's had enough of being taken for granted?

ahhh is this a WOHM/SAHM thing?

I would buy her a present (does not have to be something expensive) and also invite her and her DC round to play. It is not about you not wanting to or not enjoying the experience but about recognition of what she is contributing to your life! She is helping you big time and may thoroughly enjoy it but even so you should reciprocate. You do not have to do baking with the DC or anything complicated or messy. Maybe just take them to the park and give them a simple tea...

It may be that you are someone who likes to have exclusively family time but if you are on leave all this week, you could surely spare half a day to invite your friend and or her child to join you.

Thanks WMD (and all) for your suggestions. This is a newish arrangement and I hadn't really thought it thru from her perspective. Am gonna text her now and arrange something ......

Oh, well, if it's about precious time then of course you shouldn't ruin it for DD. You're totally within your rights to not worry about her DD's precious time being eaten into twice a week as they're having a blast with your DD. Lucky things

Ok - so she's texted me back and i have arranged for her DD to come to me this afternoon for play and tea.

Thanks everyone for helping me see what I should be doing

Now you only have, what, 10 or 20 more times to do it to even it up....

YABU- give your friend a break as well. It only needs to be two hours and you need to keep the good will going. You never know when you might need it and it's the least you can do.

AND YABVVVU for your crap thread title! I really hate it when people titles their threads "AIBU?" Put some bloody content in the title.

"AIBU to not want friend's DD to come over"

It's not hard. Grrrr. Rant over. As you were.

Well done op :)