unfriendly neighbour

[bejeezus]

New neighbours moved in about a year ago. Have kids a little younger than mine. Had a few short exchanges when they first arrived, nothing much more than hello, how was the move? All settled? Etc

Tried to strike up conversation with the lady of the house on a few occasions when we met in the street. She cut me off, saying she was busy/coyldnt chat/had to go....took her at face value, until maybe the 5th or 6th time. Then it dawned on me, that she doesn't want to talk to me.

That's fine, can't be friends with everyone etc etc BUT she won't even greet me in passing, she won't make eye contact and stares fixedly ahead as we pass...So, she has made het position clear...

I just find the situation ridiculous....we live next door to each other and completely blank one another! I don't suppose there is anything I can do really, just interested in other peoples thoughts

The man of the house will sometimes offer a smile or a hello. I don't see him so often (i see her daily!) But I find that a bit uncomfortable- to be on ignoring terms with het and greeting terms with him

Maybe she just doesn't like being friendly with the neighbours? Or she has some sort of illness going on that makes her feel antisocial? Or she saw you/thinks you saw her doing something embarrassing one day and still can't look you in the eye? :o

FWIW I have lovely neighbours but when we moved in I was very pregnant with DC1, the house was in a state and I was very low with antenatal depression that then carried on into PND after DS was born. I just didn't feel up to talking to anyone and I'm really regretting that now as it looks like I've missed out on a great friendship with the lady next door. We have a lot in common but I just never made an effort :(

I think some people just don't like talking.

My old neighbours at my old house used to be like this, the guy I could have a vague half hearted chat about the local footie team, but the woman would just blank me. The worst bit was their son (7yo) used to scuttle indoors every time I went outside, so I ended up hiding indoors so he could play in the garden!

I did always say hello to her though. Even though she ignored me. Every. Single. Time. (I like to cling desparately to the moral high ground in every situation, however stupid that makes me look!)

ALL my neighbours are like this! [buconfused] I'd think it was me but they're the same with DH and DSD. [buhmm]

About 3 years ago next door neighbour's front door was wide open all morning but their cars weren't there. So I knocked, called etc at the front door but no answer so I closed the front door but it wasn't locked (needs to be locked with a key). She is a teacher in my DSD's (former) school, but had no idea of her name. So after tracking down DSD (she was in lessons) and finding out her name, I rang the school and left her a message with my number. She rang me back thanking me, and her flatmate came home and locked the door. Then that evening she collared me and thanked me again. Next door she was back to completely ignoring me! [bushock] [buconfused] Hasn't said a word to me since that day. TBH if happened now I'd leave it and let them get bloody burgled. Doesn't cost anything to have manners!

Other neighbours are pretty much the same. [buconfused] It quite possibly might be because our house is HA, and the rest are either privately owned or rented. Also when we first moved in neither of us were working (DH now works full time). It's the only thing I can think of, and TBH if it is that then I don't really want to associate with snobs anyway.

I think she just doesn't want to become too friendly, so the only way she can think of not getting into a friendship that she doesn't want is to not say hello or chat. I doubt it's anything to do specifically with you as a person but is rather, as other posters have suggested, something on her part such as a phobia, social awkwardness, busy life etc.

*next day not door

YANBU. What has the world come to where people routinely "blank" each other? So unkind and unnecessary. Even if I don't like someone I still smile and say hello and have a brief chat if it comes to it.

feministswife mental! How very strange

quint no I'm not needy, I have nuff friends. I don't really want to be her friend. I'm very much used to having friendly relationships with neighbours though-holding spare keys/sharing excess garden produce/taking in deliveries/feeding pets etc

If I see people in the neighbourhood over and over, I will always smile/nod/say hi just in recognition at least. I find it an effort to steadfastly ignore someone

But I take on board what you have all said. Like the street party idea! Except I'm a republican (is that the correct term???) Maybe we could have an alternative jublee party- like the alternative queens speech

Maybe she just wants to choose her friends, not have them thrust onto her just because they are her neighbours.
I think she is just trying to make sure you get the message that she already has friends and doesn't need any more thankyou.
My mum once made the mistake of letting her neighbour get too pally. Every single day after that she was round knocking on the door, sometimes just walking in uninvited waiting for mum to put the kettle on and spend all her time gossiping. Drove my mum bonkers and she vowed never to do it again.
I have lived in the same house for 9 years....couldn't tell you what any of my neighbours names are. And that;s the way I like it.

Maybe she has had a bad experience with neighbours maybe she is under witness protection maybe she is depressed. Whatever it is its about her and not you so say hello and smile if you can cope with the rejection or just pass on by.
Shame isnt it when people cant even give you the time day. Kids are a great leveller perhaps they ice will be broken one day.

A few of you have said about het ignoring me, so ad not to invite my friendship. I think that's a really weird and slight conceited attitude? I would never feel in danger of over friendliness just by greeted someone/acknowledging their existance. Why would you think that someone had that much interest in you???

aquadhiv Haha! I thought about the witness protection angle! I thought it was just my overactive imagination

I do think life is nicer, if people are civil to those around them

I live in London in a small block of flats and all my neighbours bar one are like this. I've tried inviting them in for tea/wine, chatting when we pass, but I was a bit saddened that no one is interested! Nobody even came to say hi when we moved in. I don't know if it's a London thing. Some won't even say 'hi' back when I say hello to them.. anyone else?

Hmm..I'm not in London splashy

...and all my other neighbours are lovely. Generly, this is a really friendly area...sorry, can't help you there

She is an arse. It costs nothing to smile and say hello to neighbours - this country can be so weird - some people have the loveliest, friendliest neighbours, but it seems that many people are just really rude and unfriendly. Just ignore her and be thankful you dont know her if she is such a rude arse.