Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

I know i am but I cant blimmin help it

9 replies

Charliefarlie1192 · 09/04/2012 18:20

Oh god help me, my ds has gone to his dads for a week. He went on friday and I have only managed to speak to him for the first time today.

He is with ex and the new dp, been camping, now at my ex mils having a roast dinner and to top it all off ds didnt really want to speak to me on the phone coz he was playing playstation and just shouted bye mum, despite me saying 'love you' about 25 times he didnt say it (yes I know, irrational, crazy, complete headcase)

I just HATE that another woman is looking after my ds this week, doing tea times and bedtimes and storytimes etc (she is very good to ds to be fair to her) especially when I have so royally fucked up my situation and ds home life recently

AIBU to say never ever again is he going to his dads for more than the normal overnight weekend stay? (I know I am but this is torture)

OP posts:

TidyDancer · 09/04/2012 18:21

I totally sympathise with your feeling, but I can't say YANBU.

Hand-hold? [busmile]

TidyDancer · 09/04/2012 18:22

I meant to say feelings, I presume you have more than one. [bugrin]

Original poster

Charliefarlie1192 · 09/04/2012 18:24

i have several billion right now, oh dear maybe time to crack open a bottle of wine

OP posts:

gafhyb · 09/04/2012 18:26

Yabu, but I can imagine how hard it is.

But please (with all due respect) do your best get over it. MIL alienated DH just a bit with her insecurity and jealousy. Don't you know you are his MUM and always will be?

All the best x

gafhyb · 09/04/2012 18:27

Not saying you will show your DS how you feel, mind you..... sorry if I sounded rude

legoballoon · 09/04/2012 18:34

Enjoy your glass of wine, and try to put the negative feelings out of your mind. Your DS'll be back soon, and you'll have not time to yourself.

Your XP's new OH might be nice to your son, but she'll never replace you in his heart - you're flesh and blood and have years of shared experience. At least he is happy, loved, being well cared for and entertained. Sounds like he's had a good weekend, and that can only be in his best interests. Hard for you, but you're a grown up so you can come on here to vent and you know in your heart that it's a sacrifice you make for him.

Pandemoniaa · 09/04/2012 18:40

I can see where you are coming from but actually, things could be so much worse. You can't reinvent history but it is good that your ds has a good relationship with his father and that his father has a caring gf. Also, your MIL is your son's grandmother and she's entitled to love him.

Nobody will replace you in your ds's heart. You are his mother. Nothing can change that. So wish him well but don't try to force declarations of love out of him over the phone. Of course he loves you. Revel in the fact, not mere declarations.

Original poster

Charliefarlie1192 · 09/04/2012 18:51

You are all right, I will have to just try and look forward to his return home

OP posts:

PiratesMolMabel · 09/04/2012 19:04

Hello Charlie. Firstly it's totally ok for you to feel this way - the first weekend away with expartner & his new OH is bound to be stressful for you.

If you can, be glad that DS is having a good time. Next enjoy a child-free night. Have a drink if you want-maybe drink more than you should - afterall you're not responsible for a child tonight(!) Maybe have a long bubbly bath - before you get too p**d- we don't want you to drown!

Next time DS goes to stay with his dad I suggest that arrange to do something that you can't do when DS is at home - go out with some friends maybe? It's your time 'off duty' enjoy!-you've earned it [bubiscuit]

Mabel x

Flip