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Original poster

duty free cigarette allowance

32 replies

chanie44 · 09/04/2012 17:45

I mentioned to mil that DM was going on holiday (outside of the EU). Mil asked if me to ask DM if she would bring back some cigarettes for her. I kept forgetting to ask DM as it was ages before she went but mil kept asking. When I asked DM she said she really didn't want to. I think part of it is that she can't be bothered and also she always comes back with loads of stuff for the grandchildren and takes public transport home from the airport, so doesn't have the room.

When mil reminded me again she said she would appreciate it if they both could bring back 2 packets each (I think this equates to 800 cigarettes). I was very non-commital and said she would see what she could do but it depends on a number of things like how much money the had left (mil replied I could have given her the money if she wanted it) I then said the get public transport and the may not have room in their suitcases nor the weight allowance (mil said the can put it in hand luggage).

Mil has been very persistent in chasing me up and seems rather p-ss-ed off that DM hasn't said yes or no.

I'm not a smoker and neither is dm so don't really see it as a priority. I know cigarettes are expensive but I think its quite cheeky to ask somebody you barely know to bring you back 800. Its not like DM would be making anything financially out of it.

Is it unreasonable of dm to say no to bringing back even one pack to keep the peace (she told me she won't)

Or

Is it unreasonable for mil to ask for so many and be p-ss-ed off if shE doesn't get them

OP posts:
HoudiniHissy · 09/04/2012 17:55

Your DM has a right to say no. She may find it hard to do so.

When I used to smoke I asked Mum to bring back some cigarettes for me, she did once, but I feel, was uncomfortable doing so. She never brought back any after this, and after another trip or so, I didn't ask again.

Tell your MIL that you asked your DM, but that you didn't think she wanted to. Remind MIL that ultimately it's DM's prerogative to do so, so nothing you can do if she doesn't.

Your MIL wants your DM to buy her full allowance on the way out and again on the way back. Technically it's possible/legal, but if your DM doesn't want to do it it, that's perfectly within her rights to say so.

OldGreyWiffleTest · 09/04/2012 17:58

200 is the limit outside the EU, so 1 pack.

SwedishEdith · 09/04/2012 18:01

It's illegal to bring back cigarettes on behalf of someone else. A gift would be ok, not ok to get reimbursed for them. Just tell her that.

TidyDancer · 09/04/2012 18:03

Yep, 200 is the limit. MIL is BU.

lisaro · 09/04/2012 18:06

Frankly I wouldn't buy them so I can see why your Mum wouldn't want to.

HoudiniHissy · 09/04/2012 18:08

Oh I assumed DM was travelling with someone... sorry if that is wrong. it's 200 per person

thecook · 09/04/2012 18:08

I was once stood in an airport in Turkey and saw two parents cramming their kids rucksacks with packets of Benson and Hedges.

Birdsgottafly · 09/04/2012 18:15

I would bring them back for someone and have done, but i am the type of person to do people, especially family, favours.

Your mum has the right to refuse and then it is up to you whether you want to tell your MIL that she forgot or that she didn't want to.

parakeet · 09/04/2012 18:50

It is not unreasonable of you mum to say no but you are being unreasonable for failing to give your MIL a straight answer. Just tell her - sorry, my mum said no, and you will stop all the agro. If she tries to argue, just say: sorry, she said no. Broken record technique.

musicmadness · 09/04/2012 21:00

Just tell her you Mum said no. She keeps asking because she hasn't had an answer yet! For what it's worth I'd just buy them if someone asked me and gave me the money for them (and have done) but it is your mums right to say no if she doesn't want to. It bothers some people more than others I think. It really isn't fair to not give your MIL a straight answer though!

LunaticFringe · 09/04/2012 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 09/04/2012 21:24

I would bring them back for someone and have done, but i am the type of person to do people, especially family, favours.

Same here

I don't see the big deal unless the OP's mum doesn't like the MIL...but even then I think it's a big deal over nothing.

Original poster
chanie44 · 09/04/2012 21:26

Thanks ladies.

I suppose I hadn't considered that I was BU to not give her a straight answer.

However, I don't really see why 'she'll see what she can do' isn't acceptable. I mean, its not like she has loads of people going away that she can ask and didn't because she was relying on DM. To me, its one of those things whereby you can ask somebody, but even if they say 'yes' you shouldn't expect to get them until you phyisically have them in your hands.

My MIL is very much 'you don't get if you don't ask', but I did feel uncomfortable asking DM in the first place as I knew she probably wouldn't want to, but didn't want to speak for her, if you see what I mean. My OH smokes and I wouldn't ask DM to bring him back any.

OP posts:
GreenEyesAndHam · 09/04/2012 21:27

"Mum says no sorry, she'll have enough to carry"

See? Easy peasy.

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2012 21:42

She seems rather pissed off that DM hasn't say yes or no
So why the hell can't she just say yes or no? Also, you mention "it's not as if DM would be making anything financially out of it". Would she expect to? The only thing that struck me from your post is how unpleasant you both sound. Apologies if I'm wrong.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 09/04/2012 21:46

I smoke and I wouldn't ask anyone to bring cigarettes back for me anymore because I asked my Mum once and I know she didn't like doing it. We go on a lot of group holidays though so I do 'borrow' other people's allowances if they aren't using them.

Just tell your MIL your Mum won't be able to carry them. It's a fair reason,especially when she is being cheeky enough to ask your mum to carry two extra bags.

Original poster
chanie44 · 09/04/2012 22:17

It was more me, not giving MIL the straight answer - probably because I'm a wuss and don't really like confrontation. The reality is that DM doesn't want to do it, but (to me anyway) not giving a reason does sound like a crap excuse.

My Mum wouldn't want to/or was expecting to make any money out of it either. THe point I was trying to make was that its a big favour to ask for somebody you barely know.

I suppose I felt uncomfortable as soon as MIL asked me and thats why I started to dither.

OP posts:
ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 09/04/2012 22:37

So why exactly doesn't your mum want to get them for MIL, one carton of cigarettes would surely be better than nothing and would take up minimal space and weight in her bag? It doesn't really seem like that big a favour to ask someone, of course she doesn't have to do it but it would be nice of her and I don't really understand what the issue is.

parakeet · 09/04/2012 23:13

It is quite a big favour, actually, to ask of someone who may dislike smoking, and dislike cigarettes, and dislike even the look and smell of cigarettes, on principle. Such as the principle of having known people who have died an early death from smoking.

Considering half of all people who smoke die an early death it's not that unlikely.

WorraLiberty · 09/04/2012 23:21

How on earth is shoving a carton of fags in your bag a 'big favour'? Confused

Now if it's because your Mum is being a judgey pants about it, that's a different matter...in which case just tell her that.

I don't smoke but I've brought fags back for people.

I don't drink whisky but I brought a bottle back for my FIL.

I don't wear Chanel 5 but I brought a bottle of that back for someone too.

parakeet · 09/04/2012 23:24

MIL is not asking for a packet of fags, though, is she - she is asking for EIGHT BLIMMIN' HUNDRED.

WorraLiberty · 09/04/2012 23:26

She's not going to get 800 though

And even if it were legal, that's still only 4 cartons....or sometimes 3.

onetoomanytoo · 09/04/2012 23:30

dear op, the duty free allowence for coming in from outside of the EU is only 200 fags, and having just returned from outside of the EU i can tell you that cutoms are pretty hot on this, and they don't just confiscate the extras, they take the lot, allowed and disallowed, and if your mum had paid for them, and was expecting to be reimbursed for them when she gave them to your mil, your mum would be very out of pocket,
going through cutoms at gatwick i saw several lots being confiscated,
it would also mean your mum is then more likely to get searched on all future trips through the airport.
just tell your mil that your mum doesn't want to do it,

BrightnessFalls · 09/04/2012 23:30

In the df shops dont the sell them doubled up so, it must be alright?

I dont ask people because, as a smoker, they dont taste the same. Having said that, I always ask people I know if they want any bringing back and Im happy to do so. They weigh nothing compared to the huge bottles of vodka I always bring back

onetoomanytoo · 09/04/2012 23:37

there is a difference between duty free and duty paid, if you have paid duty, and have the recipt to prove it you can bring back more, bightness, those are the ones i think you have mentioned, but the law is very very clear, only 200 may be duty free,

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