To be pissed off with my sister?

[cherrypieplum]

She has some mental health issues which stop her from working and organising herself (they never seem to stop her doing what she wants but that's a different rant...)

But she has huge amount of bloody rodents that keep breeding and she won't get rid of them, instead she just gets more places to put them!!

What annoys me is that she's on benefits in a house that needs condemning and yet she puts these bloody creatures and other pets above all else including her child!!

Is it filthy? Are we talking getting social sevices involved?

I think her pets might be the least of her worries.

She lives in a house that needs condemning?

Have you tried helping her contact her Landlord about that?

Already involved, her child doesn't live there anymore which I'm sad to say is the best thing for him! I'd get the RSPCA involved but I don't want her to get fined and get her into a bigger mess.

I may be exagerating the need to condemn but it is a state. Landlord does patchy repairs which she's happy with(!) and she does little to clean. Family have bailed her out, tried to get her to go into social housing to no avail.

Have you tried helping her with housework and organising things?

Sometimes if your house is in a massive state, I suppose it's difficult to know where to begin and maybe her mental health issues don't exactly help either?

She might take more pride in her home with a little help and perhaps then, she'll cut down on the amount of pets she keeps.

Yup, we've tried, friends have tried. It's just not sustained. Whay I find hard is that she'll spend an age tidying one corner until it's pristine or perfecting a gift for someone but doesn't just keep up with the basics.

If she would allow you to do so, I would be tempted to roll up my sleeves and get on and sort it myself. I have suffered from awful chronic depression in the past and even the most simple of tasks is too much to deal with. Perhaps she feels that there is no point in doing anything other than ignore it because it is just too much? Once it is sorted she may take greater pride and it will be more manageable. You will also be in a better position to take on the landlord with regard to any repairs etc because he will be able to see clearly what needs doing.

Then talk to her about the rodent issue.

What mental health issues? Depression?

She needs support by the sound of it. Help her to sort out the mess first and then help her set up a plan for cleaning eg 7pm wash dishes, Tursday do the hoovering, etc. When I've suffered with depression this is the type of thing that helps me to remain organised.

Could the rodents be like company for her? She doesn't have her child with her and maybe not many friends.

Does she have a mental health team supporting her?

It's a few things really. Depression has been an element in the past. She has a chronic metabolic condition which she has let become uncontrolled too which has an impact on her mental health too.

And it's hard for me now because she lives fairly far away, I'm working full time in a demanding job and six months pregnant.

She has friends that live locally (she's out and about more than me!) and has very, very understanding school friends too.

She rejects a lot of help. Family has been very generous (with close and extended members bailing her out into the thousands) and very often she's been given food but she'll be fussy about what it is even though she needs it. And it's not pride becuase she'll ask for expensive kitchen appliances for Christmas which we can't afford for her!

FondlewithCare she has a mental health team involved. She's undergoing some sort of psychiatic trial which she seems happy with. She talks about that in the way most people would discuss a nice day out(!)

Your sister doesn't work so is on benefits. She has pets (rabbits, guinea, pigs, rats or mice?) so what does she use to feed them? Does she buy food for them? What with? If she uses benefits, I think she is awarded too much. The pets should be got rid of then the money she spends on them can be used for herself and her debts.

I wouldn't say she gets too much but that's exactly my point. I want her to get rid of them but she won't!

Worst thing is she didn't even buy them herself. She was looking after them for someone else and they bred. And bred.

What about contacting the Blue Cross? I think they do neutering for people on benefits, that might stop the problem getting any worse.

Think she needs to separate the rodents :( they gonna keep breeding unless the males and females are separated. Is there no one who can do this for her? If the animals r being neglected I think u have a duty to report to the RSPCA ( I know she's your sister but for her health and animals health they do need to be sorted out ) they might even work with her an educate her rather than just take away. The fleas the animals carry can have aceetrimental effect on her health too and being overwhelmed with animals won't help the mental health issues :( the faeces and urin could make her very ill if she's not following hygiene procedures :(

Detrimental

Thanks. I'll try blue cross. She gets them sexes but usually finds a new litter. I honestly don't know how it keeps happening. And they aren't being neglected. She Keeps them cleaner than her kitchen(!) my argument is though that if they are inbreeding that in itself is cruel as they'll end up with goodness knows what problems.

When my rat had cancer the vet told me that it's very common in rats due to all of the inbreeding that goes on. It could be worth letting her know that as she does obviously care about them.

And if she's on a low income it's gonna be tough to afford the veterinary care :( they might be ok at the moment but one infection and they could all be in serious trouble. Don't feel bad for trying to help her, she may not see it now but one day she will realize why you did it.