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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's ok to point out and notice things mid-conversation when walking down the street?

20 replies

FuckedOfftotheFarSideofFuck · 09/04/2012 00:04

title says it all really - was walking down the street with friend today.
We were chatting, I noticed something he'd like in the window of a shop and turned (we'd walked past) and pointed at it for him to look. He got all huffy saying it was rude to interrupt mid- conversation (it wasn't a big explanation of a concept or anything, just chit chat) and that I'd turned my back on him (as item was now behind us so I turned to point).

I think it's normal to have ebb and flow and interjections in a conversation, particularly if walking down a street. Am I wrong?

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 09/04/2012 00:05

YANBU.

FoxyRoxy · 09/04/2012 00:07

Yanbu. Conversation isn't taking it in turns to talk. At least not in my house it isn't!

usualsuspect · 09/04/2012 00:08

He needs to chill.

Original poster
FuckedOfftotheFarSideofFuck · 09/04/2012 00:09

Thank you people! Yes, at a meeting or a conference you take it in turns. In family/friend conversation it just flows and goes off on tangents and so on.
Friend has been to dinner at ours and can't get over how we sometimes speak over our dad...but if we didn't, I don't think anyone else would get a word in!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 09/04/2012 00:09

It is rude if the person who interrupts doesn't go back to the conversation afterwards, that really fucks me off.

Janoschi · 09/04/2012 00:15

God, DH is exactly the same. It's as though he plans out his conversation the night before and can't adapt to the ab-lib of everyday life.

Though his family tend to run conversations as battles to be fought and won. So maybe he sees it all a bit differently.

YANBU though.

southeastastra · 09/04/2012 00:17

it's a bit rude of you to just change subject if he's talking to you

Goolash · 09/04/2012 00:18

Yanbu

usualsuspect · 09/04/2012 00:18

Yeah but sometimes you just see something you have to point out

Original poster
FuckedOfftotheFarSideofFuck · 09/04/2012 00:48

Oh no, I was paying attention and returned directly to the conversation...except for he had taken offence so the conversation turned into one about me having been rude. I agree it's annoying if someone just changes the subject and doesn't return to it and goes off on their own line of thought (my bro has a friend who tries to bring EVERY single conversation back to him, very annoying)

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 09/04/2012 00:53

yanbu

ds1 gets cross if you do this, but he is autistic Grin

Original poster
FuckedOfftotheFarSideofFuck · 09/04/2012 00:56

Hmm....this friend sometimes thinks he is "subclinically autistic" and occasionally I think he has a point...

OP posts:
MarquiseOfMelburnia · 09/04/2012 09:52

It may be rude to do it to someone you don't know, but if it's a good friend then surely such formal conversational rules don't apply. I have been known to do it, followed by "sorry, you were saying?". I mean FFS.

notactuallyme · 09/04/2012 09:54

Yanbu. Dh refuses to accept any sudden interruption to conversation (his!) And gets all huffy. Bloke thing?

LindyHemming · 09/04/2012 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hackmum · 09/04/2012 10:48

Euphemia, that would drive me insane! My ex was like that - he would interrupt and then accuse me of interrupting when I tried to get back to what I was talking about.

Actually, I really hate people who interrupt. So I'm with the OP's friend on this.

trixie123 · 09/04/2012 11:03

agree that its rude if you don't come back to the original topic but he was BU to be annoyed, as you were passing the shop at that point, it would have made no sense to have waited until you'd gone past. DP gets annoyed at things like that too because he loses his train of thought.

Kladdkaka · 09/04/2012 11:29

Some people do have real difficulties with the ebb and flow of a conversation. My daughter (ASD) gets furious if she is interrupted partly because the quick change of topic is too much for her; partly because she always thinks everything she has to say is the most important piece of information in the whole world; and partly because the black and white rule is 'interrupting is rude' and processing grey 'apart from when ...' rules don't make sense to her.
Given that everyone is on this scale somewhere, it follows that even some NTs have more difficulty with it than others.

Eggsits · 09/04/2012 11:32

I am always doing this, but see it is part of the ebb and flow of conversation - ie, someone says something, which reminds me of something which I then share with them to enhance the conversation. If we all waited until someone had come to a full stop, life would be very dull. DH says I am rude.

He is wrong.

ChickenSkin · 09/04/2012 12:00

I can see both sides.

My ex had aspergers and would CONSTANTLY interupt me when I spoke to mention something he felt was more important. It fucked me off no end and makes me angry now just thinking about it.

But I accept I'm probably a little over sensitive to it for that reason and in all honestly, I probably do it sometimes too. Mid conversation - "oh look at that puppy in the window! so adorable! sorry - what were you saying?" kind of thing Grin

My ex however was more like this:

me - "so I've booked a B&B for ..... "
him - "yeah did you remember that I'm off work next wednesday? shall we get the car done then?"
me - "I WAS SPEAKING!!!!!! RAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!"

(The insane outburst from me at the end there only started happening towards the end of our relationship).

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