to feel some of the shine is gone?

[mindthebump40]

I am 13 weeks pregnant. However, on the day I told a friend she had infertility investigations. Was really pleased for me but still felt bad for her as I already have two lovely children.
Since than I have had two friends post on fb. One about the anniversary of her still birth and another about the anniversary of a miscarriage.

:( unfortunate coincidence.

I can understand
Your feelings but they should be allowed to discuss or remember their lost children how they choose. I doubt they did it to take the shine off your pregnancy

Congratulations but yabu to think this takes shine off. You are entitled to share your news and be happy just as they are entitled not to hide what they are going through.

Actually as I type this I feel a bit on their behalf having been through mc, infertility and lost a child . I would hate to think I had to pretend this didnt happen in case It upset someone else. It isn't as it they did it on purpose .

Maybe I haven't explained myself properly. I too have experienced a miscarriage at 12 weeks. In fact it would be my anniversary in 2 days time. Also had infertility issues so I do feel their pain.
Maybe too much. Guess I just feel so sad for what they are going through.
I guess I am just an overemotional wreck today.

OP, I quite understand. I'm much more worried/ not able to feel excited about my current pregnancy after my friend having a stillbirth last year also knowing of so many mc`s (no personal experience). I'm almost expecting something to wrong, then makes me think I'm setting myself up to be unable to bond and pnd. I was blase last time and enjoyed every little bit but don't feel I can this time, can't shake it.

I that's the case (and perhaps you should have put it in op mind) then talk to your MW or Gp , ambi/mind. It is natural given past experience or even knowing about others issues to feel some worry. What Isnt good is If you can't contain it and know when you are worrying proportionately or because it is of something else (eg depression etc).

I do sympathise as there is no way I could have coped with my pregnancies without psychotherapy . And I do understand how it feels to be worried and not joyous.

I really thought that I was fine once I got past 12 weeks. However, now I just feel so worried something could go wrong. Guess its worse because I know this is probably my last chance and i have two very excited dc.
Lost my mum less than a year ago too so probably feeling over emotional.

I would like to say it doesn't get easier
IMe . You just change what you worry about and magnify it by other worries (your dc). It also makes a lot of sense about losing your mum as that is bound to change things (I assume she was around when had your 2 oldest?).

I do think you need to talk to someone (mw or better specialist counsellor or therapist) rather than suffer with this.

But can I just say I did get through 2 difficult pregnancies and managed to bond/ no pnd so it isnt necessarily awful . But I did get help.

tbh people die and have unpleasant life experiences

thats life

you cant go around being gloomy just because something happened to someone else once. you would be suicidal day in day out

Thank you. Think I have just had a rough week. Guess things will improve once I get 20 week scan out of way. Three lots of sad news within one week was tough.

Op I know what you mean.

I found out I was pregnant two days before my best friend buried her little girl born at five months.

I am constantly worrying about the baby all day, noticing very little twinge and checking to see all is well. It's my second DC; my first pregnancy was so relaxed and carefree, and this time i know what's happened with my friend and her baby is constantly at the back of my mind.

Have a hug from me x

Such a sad thread. It really make you realise how fragile life is.

Sorry to hear others feeling similar. Feeling better today. Hope you are ok too teajunky and ambi

Glad you are feeling better.