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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

he left me on my own

25 replies

sassskia · 08/04/2012 00:56

Ok so aibu? Apologies in advance for typos etc im on my phone.
Basically me and dh had a long awaited couples night out tonight. To cut a long story short, ended up meeting some friends. I was ready to come home. Dh was not so ive come home alone and dh has stayed out.
Issue 1
Hubby has no key so im home alone with an unlocked door.
Issue 2
Hubby was pissed off with me for wanting to come home. I am drunk and feel ill!
Issue 3
Dh now is drunk in possession of our bank card!
So..... Aibu to be pissed the fuckin hell off?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 08/04/2012 01:00

He is BU leaving you with an unlocked door/having to get up to let him in.

He was BU to be pissed off at being ill, it's hardly your fault (unless you drunk to much Grin)

You are BU to be pissed off at something he hasn't done, unless he's got form for getting tanked up and spending shit loads.

Did you have quite a lot to drink? If you did remember it'll cloud your judgement.

JaneFonda · 08/04/2012 01:07

YABU.

He didn't 'leave you on your own' - you decided to leave because you can't handle your drink!

TidyDancer · 08/04/2012 01:07

I would lock the door tbh, and just wait for him to knock. Or call/text him to say he will need to do this. He is BU if he has knowingly put you in this position.

He is BU for getting annoyed with you for wanting to go home.

As AZ said, unless he's got a history of spending lots of money while drunk, YABU to get pissed off with him about having the bank card.

Original poster
sassskia · 08/04/2012 01:11

Yes I have had quite a lot, hence my comin home, yes its my fault, im old enough to know better etc. But my Point is...He has no key so I have to leave the door un locked there for making me un safe, home alone.
God ive just read that back and I realise that makes me look very pathetic!

OP posts:
JaneFonda · 08/04/2012 01:13

What is the honest probability of somebody just wandering into your house?

I think in the morning, once you've sobered up, you'll realise you're maybe being a bit silly and it's not worth getting into an argument about. :)

Now have a big drink of water, and get some sleep!

AgentZigzag · 08/04/2012 01:17

You don't sound pathetic at all sass, just pissed Grin

MaryZ · 08/04/2012 01:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sassskia · 08/04/2012 01:24

I am on the way to the kitchen for a huge glass of water now, I know its unlikely I guess im being paranoid as the taxi man heard our exchange and brought me home so knows im home alone unlocked! Note to self STOP WATCHING SLASHER MOVIES! Thank you ladies you have probably saved dh a bollocking in the morning! [drunk and ashamed face]

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 08/04/2012 01:24

Neither of you are being unreasonable.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 08/04/2012 01:55

Ah you just had one too many....I hope you have plenty of chocolate, coffee and bacon on tap in the morning then you'll be right as rain!

Kayano · 08/04/2012 02:09

You left him...

FallenCaryatid · 08/04/2012 05:24

What everyone else has said, but really? Two adults and one key?
That's easy to sort out for next time.

AutumnSummers · 08/04/2012 08:17

He wasn't BU for staying out just because he didn't have a key to get in. He's a big boy. I thionk your main issue here is having to be home alone and this incident has highlighted that. How would you feel if he decided to go out with friends without you? Would you want him not o go just because you would be at home by yourself? Or is it because you didn't feel safe because you were drunk? In which case, you houldn't have got so drunk that you felt incapable of looking after yourself to the point of being scared for your welfare without upervision from another drunk person

AutumnSummers · 08/04/2012 08:18

*supervision

DinahMoHum · 08/04/2012 08:30

id probably feel a bit annoyed if it was a long awaited couples night out and he didnt come home with me if i was feeling ill, but i guess everyones relationship is different

FallenCaryatid · 08/04/2012 08:36

Feeling ill? She was so pissed she felt ill, so not a sudden attack of the flu.
Wouldn't her OH have an equal right to feel annoyed that she had curtailed 'a long awaited couples night out' by getting in that condition? Or how would she feel if he'd got plastered and they'd both had to come home early?
Or can he and she accept that it was something they should do again soon, but with a bit better organisation on all sides.

bluejeans · 08/04/2012 08:36

Sadly I found out the hard way, never go out with only one key between you, no matter how sure you are you'll come home together!

Likewise don't get both your train tickets on the same ticket, no matter how sure you are you'll come home on the same train

[busad]

Hope no one is too hung over this morning

FallenCaryatid · 08/04/2012 08:37

If you don't learn that with a partner, you surely do when you've got teenagers! [bugrin]

rhondajean · 08/04/2012 12:09

Surely if you go out together you come home together, and if one feels I'll the other makes sure they are ok???

blubberyboo · 08/04/2012 12:53

one key and one bank card

why do you say "our" bank card?..banks don't issue cards jointly to ppl...even if its a joint account u still have a card each. so he either had his own bank card (for either his sole account or your joint account) ...or he had your bank card ( in which case he shouldn't have your PIN)

people have different perspectives of a "good"night out..it seems that on this occasion he wanted an allnighter and you wanted a nice evening but home to bed early..you just haven't communicated that to each other

so neither is being unreasonable

next time take 2 keys and your own bank cards

Goolash · 08/04/2012 15:12

Yanbu for wanting to come home.
He is nbu for wanting to stay out.

One card? One set of keys? That's what I don't understand.

ImperialBlether · 08/04/2012 15:30

Put the key somewhere he can find it?

Have to say I wouldn't think it was much of a night if I came home on my own.

Gumby · 08/04/2012 15:33

Are you both hungover?!

Did you lick the door & go to bed?

DinahMoHum · 08/04/2012 15:36

i know she was drunk, but licking the door? :P

Mrsjay · 08/04/2012 15:37

you were drunk and therefore being Unreasonable , hes a grown man you came home , doesnt he go out and leave you in the house , I hope you are ok today , I think the only think id be a bit peeved at if it was a rare nightout and hubby didnt come home with me for a bit of jiggy and no children to hear Grin

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