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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that uninvited guests should say thank you?

30 replies

carabos · 07/04/2012 23:55

DS2 arrived home at 4.15 this morning from a night's hard clubbing. He had two friends with him who were both shitfaced drunk (one girl, one boy).

They made so much noise coming in they must have woken the whole neighbourhood, and took ages to settle down to sleep.

This morning, both left, at different times, without greeting DH or I or saying thank you.

AIBU to think this is really rude?

OP posts:
faeriefruitcake · 07/04/2012 23:57

It is but very typical, my brother's mates all behave like this

BackforGood · 07/04/2012 23:59

Probably somewhat hungover and not really ready for polite chit chat. I'm guessing if they came round in other circumstances, they would Smile

WorraLiberty · 08/04/2012 00:02

Yes probably hungover and awkward.

It's not like they were introduced to you when they arrived or sat and had breakfast with you...so as much as it is rude, I can understand the embarrassing need to slink out unnoticed Lol.

Having said that, I really would be having words with my DS if he brought loud uninvited people back at that time of the morning.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/04/2012 00:02

They probably think they are DS2's guests and thanked him.

TidyDancer · 08/04/2012 00:03

Maybe they said thank you to your DS? As long as they did that, I don't think it's as bad.

They were probably suffering, you can't judge people in that state! [bugrin]

MaryZ · 08/04/2012 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
carabos · 08/04/2012 00:11

We know both of them (schoolmates of DS). They didn't thank him either, they moaned that the sofabed in his room (which we got him expressly for these occasions which seem to be a regular occurrence, ) was uncomfortable. Cheeky sods. DS was cross too.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/04/2012 00:15

Are you not also a tiny bit cross with your DS for bringing home a couple of drunks who must have woken the whole neighbourhood, and took ages to settle down to sleep?

I'm quite a chilled Mum but to be honest, this would annoy me more than a couple of his mates skulking out in the morning.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 08/04/2012 00:17

Well if you buy him a sofabed for these occasions, you can't be surprised when it happens.

MaryZ · 08/04/2012 00:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 08/04/2012 00:24

You need to nip it in the bud.

Run out when you hear them coming down the stairs and give them the eagle eye. If they try to leave without a word say, "Excuse me, have you forgotten something?" If they give you a hard stare, remember they are still kids and say, "It's polite to say thanks if you stay somewhere overnight when you haven't been invited." Keep eye contact at all times.

If they say nothing and slink off, call after them, "Don't think you can stay again!"

Seriously, it's the only thing they understand!

PurpleRomanesco · 08/04/2012 00:26

Gosh I have been them, They were saving you from their morning breath.

Be thankful yourself.

Salmotrutta · 08/04/2012 00:28

Cheeky wee sods.

I had no problem telling my DCs my views on any rude friends. DH and I payed the mortgage. Not them.

Interesting your DS is annoyed too. That's a good sign TBH.

PurpleRomanesco · 08/04/2012 00:29

They complained?! Things have changed in the past 6 years.

WorraLiberty · 08/04/2012 00:33

A good sign of what Salmotrutta?

A good sign that he's ok with bringing back two drunken, uninvited guests that were loud enough to wake the whole neighbourhood as long as they thank him?

Unimpressed would be a severe understatement if my DS did that...never mind if they said 'thank you' Grin

PurpleRomanesco · 08/04/2012 00:37

Oh Worra, You're one'a those mums...

:o

PurpleRomanesco · 08/04/2012 00:39

Nose? I meant noise. [bublush]

WorraLiberty · 08/04/2012 00:39

Seriously Purple my 20yr old has turned up with all sorts of waifs and strays in the early hours and I don't expect them to put in an appareance the next day to thank me...especially if they don't now me Grin

But I do think it's disrespectful to wake the whole neighbourhood up and I wouldn't be impressed with my DS if he couldn't stop his friends from doing that.

It's not fair on anyone.

WorraLiberty · 08/04/2012 00:40

And 'now' would be the new version of 'know'....obviously Blush

Mrsjay · 08/04/2012 00:50

I would be fuming if dd brought back nosiey drunk friends uninvited i wouldve met them with a tut and my dressing gown on , NO TEENAGER wants to see that Grin I would tell your son they are not welcome if the sofabed isnt to their liking ,

PurpleRomanesco · 08/04/2012 00:57

Oh I agree, But I do remember some nights being horribly tipsy and thinking me and my friends were talking at a respectable level only to be told by a sober friend that we were screeching.

I should have an ASBO by now shouldn't I? [busad]

I am now a sensible 23yo woman who doesn't screech. Hopefully.

Tee2072 · 08/04/2012 07:48

The ruder part is how much noise they made! I would have been out of bed and evil eyeing them at the first peep!

thegreylady · 08/04/2012 08:02

They probably thought they were being considerate by slinking off and sparing you their hangovers. I once went in to wake my DS and found a strange young man on the floor,two more in the bunk beds and DS flaked out on the floor in his sister's room. An hour later I heard the back door shut and when I went up DS was in his own bed and all odd bods had disappeared.

billgrangersrisotto · 08/04/2012 08:05

Agree with others. It's rude of your DS, not the other kids.

Original poster
carabos · 08/04/2012 08:57

DS knows that I would rather he came home in a state than stated out without letting me know that he's ok. He drinks very little, being "the sensible one" and he often takes responsibility for getting the others home safely.

The usual excuse for having to bring them back to
ours is "they were locked out". As this happens surprisingly often, I suspect that "locked out" means "locked out by their parents" rather than "forgotten their keys". I would never do this to my DC, even if I would rather not have them and their drunk friends in my house.

OP posts:
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