AIBU to want to spend time alone with my boyfriend?

[SpringHasSprungALeak]

My boyfriend and I both live with our parents (we are in our early 20s with no kids). This is the first serious relationship for both of us. I love him to bits, he loves me, we've talked about marriage and kids.

Every weekend I have gone to his (parents) house on a Friday night and come home on a Sunday. Every weekend is the same. Friday night we stay in and watch TV with his family, Saturday night from 6pm until 9pm we go the pub with his parents, Sunday we have roast dinner and I get the 3:30 train home.

It's very rare we get any time alone. We even have to sleep in the living room on an airbed (he shares bedroom with his younger brother), so have to wait for everyone else to go to bed before we can, and then we get woken up when everyone else decides it's time to get up.

We live an hour away from each other. He can't come and stay at mine because my mum has health problems.

I am unemployed, BF works 7 hours a week, so as you can imagine, money is VERY tight. I don't expect to go out EVERY weekend with him, but sometimes, I'd just like to spend some time alone with him.

Today marks 6 months together and I wanted to go out for meal with him to celebrate. I mentioned to him on (I think) Thursday about us going for a meal. He said maybe (he doesn't like to plan ahead). I knew he was worried about money but I said I would pay (I have a little extra money this week so I wanted to treat him). With it being Easter weekend I'm going his today (tonight) instead of yesterday. I text him today asking if he wanted to go for a meal (I've mentioned it a couple of times since Thursday). He said "Oh sorry mum's bought something in for dinner for tonight". I'll be honest, I'm pissed off and I've told him so.

I'm sure I sound very childish but the past six months haven't been easy, and I wanted to celebrate six months with him, just me and him. Instead we'll be going the pub with his parents.

AIBU to be upset?

I would encourage you in particular to take up a hobby on your own...join a club or start trying to see about a course...also for you and your boyfriendwhat about walking or cycling together? Those are free (if you have bikes) and VERY good for depression...(I know)

Perhaps his depression has something to do with it. My boyfriend has recently started struggling wwith depression and he also can't plan ahead. For example he can't decide what we'll have for an evening meal until it's about 4pm. So at the moment I'm just making all the decisions for him!!

I understand it's tough when you llive with parents. Why does he only do 7 hours a week? Next year my parents have kindly said I can live at home while doing my pgce and my boyfriend will still be at uni so we'll be in different cities. My mum thinks we don't have sex so if he does stay it's in the spare room and we're never left alone which stresses me out (but can't complain, it's not my house). So I feel your pain.However we don't socialise with my parents and we try and do our own (cheap!) Thing like going for walksand going for drinks. You've only been with him 6 months, it should be fun!!

I am not an expert but I wonder if 2 people suffering depression can possibly experience the same sort of difficulties as 2 people both battling, say, drug addiction or alcoholism when they are in a relationship. are you both strong enough to cope with your own depression AND be each other's 'rock', iyswim. or do you find that each of you gives the other strength because you know how it feels? or do you get dragged down into each other's depression?

I must stress again - I am NOT an expert, these are just things that occur to me, as someone who suffers depression (and has been hospitalised in the past). It's not easy to be there for someone else when you feel like you're wading through mud yourself.

Perhaps the two of you might benefit from counselling?

If hes only working 7 hours a week he would be entitled to claim JSA as well if his earnings are under the basic rate
Assuming he earns NMW and he is under 25 he would still be entitled to about £15 JSA

And if his depresseion is bad he should be claiming ESA- and you can earn a small amount on ESA doing permitted work