To think the way you look can direct your life.

[Cortina]

Do things happen differently for a beautiful woman than for a plain one? Can simply the way you look alter/direct the course of your life?

I think "pretty" "beautiful" "attractive" and "sexy" are all distinct and separate things.

For example, people can be sexy but not beautiful and vice versa

I have a theory that if you were stunningly attractive as a child you are often a more confident adult. I remember our sweet shop where my gorgeous friend got her sweets for free (shades of SB :) ) and I had to pay!

She's still very confident as an adult despite not being gorgeous in the same way. I am probably a better looking adult female than her but am not confident in how I look.

There's a line in that terrible movie, Shallow Hal, about gorgeous adult women who were ugly children being 'easier' as they don't believe they are attractive. I think there is a grain of truth in that women that were ugly ducklings can lack self belief/confidence in their own attractiveness if they become 'swans' as adults.

Yes I would say it oculd but not in a good way.

When you are attractive sexy etc you do have an advantage whether that is a popular opinion or not. People generally will do things for you based on that alone esp when you are young. But looks do fade and you have to have more than that to get through life.

Looks fade relatively late and I think. When I think of those who look truly exceptional it's as if there's some mythology that is created around them that propels them forward even if there's not much to them really. If that makes sense.

Sorry, I meant to say, I think looks fade relatively late.

YY Bunny I'm not particularly attractive but I was (am? mibbie!) sexy and I think that showed. Sexiness comes entirely from confidence though, it's nothing to do with 'good looks'.

I have always got by on confidence/sexiness and charm - and I trained as an actor where looks were often quite literally all you were judged on. I definitely didn't get castings because of the way I looked but you have to brush that off our you'd go insane - or quite possible you'd go Samantha Brickish and create this whole other 'I'm so beautiful' persona because you have to believe that to survive.

In my teens I was quite the ugly duckling. Thick specs, frizzy hair, plump etc. Not good. Got contacts and ghds and lost quite a bit of weight. Same face but suddenly I was considered beautiful. This is going to sound so wanky, but I remember one night going out to a club in a slinky little dress and heels and literally walking through the crowds and people turning and staring at me. It was quite odd, but flattering! I did get a colossal amount of male attention, to the point where my friends would (jokingly) threaten to glass me as then I wouldn't be so pretty, or ask me to dress down for their birthday nights out so I wouldn't get attention. All of this was irrelevant to me, as I was smitten with my on/off bf (now DH) who was mucking me about terribly at the time.

Of course now I've had DCs, so can't be bothered with contacts often, and am mostly found in jeans. Do still notice the difference in attention when I dress up though, which shows how skin deep 'beauty' really is.

Totally agree Wilson and think I fall (or at least fell) in the same category.

I think I am probably more "sexy" now, because I have got more confident with age, (even though my looks have gone the other way) as opposed to when I was younger and probably "better looking" as I didn't have as much confidence.

Who was it that said sex appeal is 10% what you've got and 90% what other people think you've got? They were spot on

DH has always maintained that Catherine Zeta Jones is beautiful but has zero sex appeal whereas Lisa Tarbuck is no looker but he always found her pretty sexy because she was so confident and looked like so much fun

Your DH is right bunny! Lisa Tarbuck would show you a good time

Lots of research to back up the theory.

Even down to teachers going easier on attractive children in the classroom than their less attractive peers.

I think being attractive and knowing how to use that to your advantage can give very significant benefits in life.

The knowing how to use it part, or having a good personality is essential though. I can't imagine even the most beautiful of people going very far if they have a severe lack of intelligence and are miserable and rude.

I think I have had benefits in the past that are partly down to how I look, which isn't anything special but not bad either, and partly down to knowing how to talk/ask in the right way. I don't think either one would have worked without the other.

I know one stunningly beautiful girl, she is a friends sil so Ive met her a few times but don't know her well, and when I first met her I was amazed that anyone could be that perfect looking. But, I have heard her make quite a few bitchy comments, and I've heard how horrible she has been to my friend, and I honestly can't see her physical beauty any more. She just doesn't look as pretty as she did when I knew nothing of her, even though she still looks the same. It's wierd and hard to explain.

Likewise, I have known people that are just average looking to become very attractive when I have got to know what lovely personalities they have.

The way you look does direct your life a bit. yes.

But so does the sum or your experiences and how you react to people around you.

People are generally nicer and more pleasant to attractive people, rather than the opposite.

That's so sweet LeQ :)

I am of the opinion that my DH is the most attractive man I have ever met (there's a pic of him on my profile), but Jonny D comes a close second :)

But I totally agree without the personality looks just stop mattering and I think lose all their impact

sum of... I've forgotten how to type

I find goodlooking confident people putting it solely down to the confidence are like when you get rich people saying money doesnt buy happiness, because it sure as helps prevent the stress of hpow you're going to pay the rent or buy food.

I am generalising here but I would say that goddlooking people tend to be more confident because of their looks and the way they have been treated because of how they look. Of course once that happens it's impossible to unentwine what is what is solely confident personality regardless of looks and what is learned.

Obviously, looks can fade...but then again, everyone else's looks around you will also be fading, so if you're very good-looking, chances are you'll still be the best looking 40, 50, 60, 70 year old in the room?

Yes, I agree with that. Beautifully cute children do not always grow up to be beautiful adults, but if you are a beautiful adult you tend to stay beautiful even in old age.

I don't ooze sex appeal nor am I pretty, but I'm just me and what you see is what you get. People have ditched me because they were embarrassed to be seen with me. I quickly found that I couldn't be arsed with shallow people like that. In fact, my closest friend has a major facial disfigurement and I completely saw straight past that. I'd much rather have 'ugly' friends with substance than friends who are gorgeous and shallow as a puddle.

Looks shouldn't matter but I think if you are pretty or better looking life is easier. Quite often employers don't want 'ugly employees'.

I agree that the tradeoff for potentially a few bitchy comments in exchange for a whole host of potential extra advantages (and confidence!) means that a beautiful person can in theory be a lot better off, particularly if they're female. I think that intelligence/personality does obviously also influence how well someone is received (I know several very captivating "plain" - hate this word! - people) - though in my experience, to a markedly greater extent for men than women. A quick look at range of male/female "role models" used for aspirational purposes on TV/in the media seemingly reinforces this. Beauty isn't synonymous with success for blokes in quite the same way.

In my own experience, i was a pretty child (so i'm told) who turned into a far less attractive, awkward teenager who's come out the other side probably "sexy" but not "pretty" - and i'm not sure that children who are attractive automatically have/hang on to the confidence some people have mentioned - I know that I pretty much lost mine judging by a) the bar set in magazines/om TV and b) the way people (men in particular) treated a very beautiful friend of mine, and pretty much ignored me. When I grew into my face and body, and discovered how best to groom myself, I also overcompensated behaviourwise when I got attention in my own right from guys, and now i've settled down, the confidence i seem to have now certainly isn't 100% real - I agree that some of the former "hurt" lives on.

Ask Samantha Brick.

When travelling I shared a room with a gorgeous girl for a while- slim, tanned, perfect features etc. I've never before seen men react the way they did to her when she walked in. Bless her though she didn't have much to say for herself and her boyfriend that I worked with told me that after a few dates they just didn't really speak. I think she relied on her looks but they weren't enough.
I'm nice looking in a normal way, always had boyfriends, complimented lots, slim, make an effort etc and am happy chatting to men. I would love to experience being absolutely stunning like a supermodel just for a day though!