DH spoke to MIL on phone yesterday to see if she was coming to visit. She told him she'd bought DD a dress to wear to BIL's wedding but if we didn't want it she'd take it back. To be fair, as soon as DH told me this I was a bit peed off because I've been quite enjoying looking at dresses for my DD to wear to this occasion and I'd already got it in my head that she was not going to be wearing this dress to the wedding but we might say yes to keeping it and wearing it another time.
So she arrives yesterday and she's bought her a bridesmaid dress! It's ivory and there is no mistaking, it's something you'd wear as a bridesmaid or as christening dress. There was silence, I couldn't think of what to say. She said "you don't like it do you?" and I said it looked like a bride's dress. I felt really embarrassed as SIL to be - the actual bride! - was also there, they haven't asked for DD to be bridesmaid and I'm pleased they haven't as she'll only be 7 months and would be a bit ridiculous in my eyes. I don't know what SIL's view on the dress was, I didn't look at her (in case she wanted her to wear the bloody dress and then I'd feel even more obliged) but I know that if I was getting married again and someone came in what was clearly a bridesmaid's dress but they weren't a bridesmaid I'd be really annoyed.
Anyway she's taking the dress back but said it gutted her to do so.
So WIBU to not take the dress? Feel a bit guilty but also feel that this is my DD, it took us 4 years to conceive, I'm loving it all but am not the most confident of mothers. She's bought her lots of clothes most of which I'm not overly keen on which I do dress her in with the exception of shoes which I just don't think babies should be wearing.
I also saw how she was with my SILs kids when they were growing up - even gave one of them a haircut when SIL had said no, just went ahead and did it - and so I do feel like I have to be firm on what I do and don't want upfront otherwise it will cause ructions down the line if I just give her an inch, so to speak.